Welcome back to Rotten Ink. I think that it’s time that we once more take a look at a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles knock off. I mean nothing says holiday season like quick knock off versions of something that was super popular at the time like TMNT was in the late 80’s and early 90’s! And what I will be covering today had action figures and of course a comic book…but never made it to getting a cartoon, and this knock off was called The Snailiens. Yep…fighting humanoid mutant snails! Long time readers know that over the years here on Rotten Ink we have covered many of the clones of the TMNT such as Biker Mice From Mars, Toxic Crusaders, Stone Protectors, Cold Blooded Chameleon Commandos and Geriatric Gangrene Jujitsu Gerbils and had a blast talking about them. So with a glass of eggnog in your hand and sitting in your favorite place to read blog updates, let’s dive into the world of Crawlspace and see what these Snailiens have to offer the world when it comes to being heroes as well as if they can break the mould of just being your normal knock off toy that is lost to time but live on in the hearts of those who got these figures over the years as gifts. I mean if Turtles can be heroes, why can’t Snails?

JPI was a very small toy company that was mostly known for making cheap novelty toys and whose main office was based out of New York. In 1992 they made their biggest attempt to make a figure series that would capture the boy market and that was a line called Snailiens. You see by 1992 Playmates was killing it with their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles figure series that was of course based on the cartoon that was in turn based on the comic book series, and JPI wanted to captures some of that money So they made Snailiens that featured four snail like humanoid heroes all with a different color scheme to go with their yellow skin who suit up in armor to fight evil tick like monsters. Each figure would come with a sidekick character, suit of armor, trading cards, mini comic, a popper “bounce shell” and ammo for the bounce shell. You see the bounce shell was one of the figure line’s big selling points as it claimed to go up to 30 feet and would allow kids to use it to fire projectiles at other figures…this of course did not go over well with parents. The figures themselves were made of rubber, were not posable at all and stood a little taller than Matchbox’s Wave 1 of Monster In My Pocket figures. JPI pushed really hard for Snailiens to be a hit even making a commercial for them to run during cartoons after school and Saturday mornings. The series would have a total of eight figures released with four Snailiens and four Lunar-Ticks making up the complete series as it sadly would only last one series before disappearing and ending up in discount bins in the toy departments. And as quickly as they came, the Snailiens would fade away to be mostly forgotten. They can be found loose on sites likes Ebay and Etsy for cheap loose but they can go for a bigger price if they are still in package.

Let’s now take a look at our heroes The Snailiens, the four aliens who try and make their world and beyond safe. These heroes are named after the American presidents that are featured on the coins as their real names are to hard for the worlds to pronounce. They were on a mission for their part of the underground galaxy when they come to The Crawlspace to answer a call for help and are stuck there when their ship is taken by a young human child as it looks like a colorful shell. Washington is the leader of the group (wears red) and he is joined by Lincoln (wears green), Jefferson (wears blue) and Roosevelt (wears purple), and together they try to keep not only the snails of The Crawlspace safe but also the children of Earth. They are joined by the snails of The Crawlspace who live in Snail Francisco who are named Sparks, Charger, Cruise and Jet, and these smaller snails are ready to protect their world from the evils ticks. The Snailiens are truly brave and heroic and will never give up in their fight to do what is right.

The villains of the Snailiens universe are called the Lunarticks and are lead by Zug The Supreme, who is very evil in his ways and wants nothing more to take over Crawlspace world as well as wants to be the ruler of Earth in general. He is joined in his quest to rule by his tick henchmen named Blastar, Drool and Armokillo, all of whom follow his orders and have the same wish to destroy and conquer. The Lunarticks are also joined by their fellow evil insects in their battle to take over the worlds with such ones as Itchy, Blister, Wart and Drippy all joining the war to conquer it all. The Lunarticks are all mean looking and are purple in color and are fearsome fighters who hate the world below as well as above.

I am a kid of the 1980’s and 1990’s, and I do not remember Snailiens at all! I mean I can remember going up and down the toy aisles at such stores as Hearts, Hills, Gold Circle, Children’s Palace, Kaybee Toys, K-Mart to name a few and do not remember seeing these on the shelf nor do I remember even one of my fellow classmates having them. In fact I really knew very little about them until my friend Chris of Time Warp Toys talked about them on a YouTube video. And once I found out about them and that they had a mini comic book that came with them, I knew I had to track down not only the comic but also all the hero figures in the series. A thanks to Ebay, I was able to track all the figures down as well as the comic! These figures are really cool and while I like the armor they wear, I think the basic figures are cooler without it! Check out the picture below to see my Snailien collection of the basic good guy figures.

I have to say I really do like the Snailiens figures as I find them pretty cool looking and while as basic as can be, they still have a charm to them that make them their own thing. Yes, they were a cash in on the fame of the TMNT, but they tried their best to be something a little different. And I would like to first thank my friend Chris who owns the toy store called Time Warp Toys for making me aware of these figures and then would like to thank the seller on Ebay that had this mini comic in stock and making this update possible. I want to also remind you all that I grade these comics on a star scale of 1 to 4 and am looking for how well the comics stay to the source material, their entertainment value and their art and story. So if you are ready, let’s head to the sewers…I mean to the Crawlspace…and see what The Snailiens have in store for us.

Snailiens # 1   *1/2
Released in 1992     Cover Price $0.00     JPI      # 1 of 1

In San Francisco live three young siblings Max, Mabel and Monty, and unknown to them, right under their home is a world called Crawlspace. That world’s capitol is called Snail Francisco, and it is under attack as Zug and his group the Lunarticks plan to first take down Snail Francisco and then will infest Earth’s kids with blood sucking ticks! They even get help in their evil quest from a group of bad insects that call themselves The Infects! As they start the attack, the snails call for help as they are being slaughtered and their city is about to fall to the Ticks! But the call for help is picked up by four snail aliens from another planet who come to Earth to save the city, but during their fight with the Lunarticks their ship, the S. Cargo, is taken by Max who thinks it looks cool and this leaves the Snailiens stranded on Earth. They are quickly welcomed by the snails of Snail Francisco who give them the names Washington, Jefferson, Rossevelt and Lincoln, all named after the American leaders that appear on the coins. And these Snailiens swear to help protect the people of Snail Francisco as well as the human kids by fighting the ticks and all their allies.

This is a very cheesy comic that is really a mini comic that showcases one page of artwork with the other page being dialogue making the comic read like a kid’s story book. The comic’s plot is that of a group of Ticks and some other rogue insects that are wanting to take over the small under the Earth world called The Crawlspace with an idea to later take over the above world by attacking the Earth’s children. But a group of alien snails answer the call for help and are now stuck on Earth and dedicate their lives in the battle against the ticks. In this mini comic we learn that there are three kids that live in a house with the older boy Max being the one who takes the ship the S. Cargo, forcing the Snailiens to be trapped here on Earth, as to him their ship looks like a very cool looking shell. We learn that Zug is a tick that leads all the evil ones and who is obsessed with taking over the Crawlspace world as well as Earth in general and his main plan is to attack kids…yeah, he is that kind of evil! And we learn that our four heroes, The Snailiens, are really aliens who are good hearted and want to protect those who are being bullied and want to stop the ticks from taking over. And while we get some information about the Snailiens and their universe, this comic is very basic and sadly does not do a great job of introducing us to any of the members at all as none of them get a chance to showcase their personalities or their fighting styles making one truly have to use their imaginations when playing with the toys as a kid. I was a little disappointed that the comic was more like a story book as I think they could have told a way better story if they would have just made a traditional comic with panels. The cover for this mini comic is pretty cool and shows Washington fighting Zug, and the interior artwork is cool and well done but is done by an uncredited artist. Over all, this was a fast and basic read that is for fans of the toys while I think those who do not know or like the toys will most likely dislike this mini comic and find it very bland. Check out the artwork below to see the style of the unknown artist used for this comic.

While I really like the figures, I cannot say that I liked the comic that much at all as I really did find it to be a lackluster read that did not do its jobs well of promoting the figures and making those who read the comic want to collect the figures as they did not really allow the readers into the world of Crawlspace, and as I said, did a terrible job of showcasing our heroes The Snailiens. But with all that said I will once more say that while they are very much a knock-off and clone of the TMNT, they did try to make themselves something slightly different and if I had these figures growing up I would have had them as part of the Toy War battles as well as would have just added them into the TMNT adventures I had. Our countdown to Christmas Eve 2025 continues with our next update as we take a look at that zombie film Dead Snow 2! So until next time, read a comic or three, watch a movie or two and as always, support your local horror host! See you next update as we watch the epic battle between red and the dead.