Welcome back to Rotten Ink. For this update I wanted to do something a little spooky and also a little fun as it’s getting closer to Halloween 2024, and what better way to celebrate than to squeeze in a bonus update for September that will be about a haunted house attraction that is based out of Pennsylvania and is known for their hayride. This place is called “Jason’s Woods,” and I’m covering trading cards that this haunt released back in the 1990’s! This update is going to be a quick one as I just wanted to add a little something more for this Trick Or Treat season as I think that this one is going to be one vintage frightful treat that you readers will enjoy. So let’s wait no longer and get into Jason’s Woods for a good fright!

The Jason’s Woods Trading Cards were released in 1993, and each card showcases one of the monsters or creatures that were terrorizing the people who came to this haunted attraction back in the early 90’s. The back most of them has the character’s name as well as a mini bio of that character…and no joke, these cards are awesome! And when you bought a pack for only .99, you would get the whole set of 10 cards making them a really cool bonus for fans of the attraction as well as made local horror stars out of those characters. So what I am going to do is rank my favorites from least to best and I am basing my rankings on the look of the creature, the backstory of the creature, the spookiness of the card, the scare factor of the character and I am also looking at it from two angles: how I would have viewed it as a kid and how I view it now as an adult. Sadly I have not ever gotten to go to Jason’s Woods, so I am basing all of this ranking on these cards. I would also like to thank the Etsy seller who had these cards in stock and made not only this update possible but also sparked the idea of this Bonus Countdown To Halloween 2024 Update. So if you are ready, let’s enter Jason’s Woods and see who takes that # 1 spot of being the scariest creature in those cursed woods!

# 10

Victim’s Head

“After Being Ripped From The Confinement Of The Wagon, This Visitor No Longer Doubts The Wicked Powers Of Zebadias. Now The Tattered Remains Become Merely Another Experiment Within The Shadows And Confines Of Jason’s Woods”

Every haunted attraction has to at least have one severed head around, and this poor guy seems to have gone and lost his life at the hands of Zebadias, a creature that roams Jason’s Woods looking for victims. He came to this Haunted Hayride looking for scares, instead he has became an experiment that now causes those frights to those who come across it. You can never go wrong with a head on a table to get a few screams.

Card # 9

# 9

Body In Casket

“The Entire Staff At Jason’s Woods Sincerely Appreciate Visitors Who Stay Around For Next Years Show. The Least We Can Do For Those Friends Is Provide A Comfortable Place To Sleep. Wake Up…Its Show Time”

What is more classic than a decomposing corpse in a coffin at a haunted attraction. When you look at this rotting chap, it makes you wonder who he was and how did he end up this dead and all messed up. A very cool card as well as the actual prop that I am sure scared some of the younger kids who bought these cards and seen it in person.

Card # 10

# 8

Uncle Ed

“Look! Here’s Uncle Ed. He’s Been Hangin Around The Barn For A Whole Year Now, Just Waitin To Meet Ya. Please Don’t Make Him Wait Much Longer…Uncle Ed Gets Irritable When That Happens.”

When looking at old Uncle Ed here you have to wonder what happened to him. Did he put that noose around his own neck to self delete or was he hung by the locals for crimes that he committed? It really does make me curious to what Ed’s backstory is. And like the other two before him, having a hanging corpse is classic and old school Haunted House frights. One thing is for sure, I would guess that Uncle Ed over the years has made a few guests scream in horror.

Card # 7

# 7

Stitch

“A Deceitful, Agitating Little Character That Zebadias Chose To Bring Home From One Of His Many Evil Journeys. Stitch Is Likely To Encourage Visitors Into Depths Of Jason’s Woods, But Has Little Power Of His Own. However, Don’t Trust Him!”

This little guy clearly is there in Jason’s Woods to cause mayhem and chaos like the Gremlins, Ghoulies or Hobgoblins as it’s clear he was inspired by those pint sized movie terrors. Stitch has crazy eyes, and I wonder if he showed up throughout the Haunted Hayride giving guests false leads to lead you down the wrong path. I think what I like best about him is that he looks like a Chihuahua that has mange and who knows that he is crazy and is loving that fact. Also it looks like this lying character is like the pet of the wood’s biggest baddie Zebadias.

Card # 5

# 6

Grim Reaper

“The Giant Grim Reaper Graphically Emphasizes That He Is Indeed The Symbol Of Death In Jason’s Woods. Any Questions?”

You can never go wrong with having the Grim Reaper at your haunted attraction as everyone fears death and this guy is the one that ushers it in! What stands out about this Grim Reaper is that he is massive in size and clearly is in Jason’s Woods to carry away the bodies and souls of the victims that have been massacred. I am sure this large skeleton face scared the Hell out of many visitors and it makes me wonder if he is still at Jason’s Woods watching over the creatures and reaping the souls of the dead? This is a classic horror character that should always have a place at any Haunted Attraction.

Card # 8

# 5

Norman

“Once A Stable, Working Man, Norman Foolishly Entered Jason’s Woods In Search Of Firewood. When The Creatures Finished With Him, His Mind Was Gone, And Now He Savagely Stalks The Unfortunate Visitors.”

Every haunted & cursed woods needs a masked chainsaw swinging slasher killer, and in Jason’s Woods, you had Norman who clearly was inspired by Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre who was driven insane by the creatures that stalk them. I would guess that Norman would bring many of the jump scares to the Haunted Hayride as he would pop up from the woods with his chainsaw reeving and give chase, it also makes me wonder if he talked or screamed and if he would ever get onto the wagon to cause more fear for the guests? Norman is a pretty cool character, and I would guess for many he was the scariest of all the creatures in the woods.

Card # 6

# 4

Poor Donna

“Violently Murdered Only Moments Before Her Wedding, She Eternally Searches Jason’s Woods For Her Loving Alex. See Poor Donna, And All The Other Creatures Of Jason’s Woods Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday In October, From 7:00 To 10:00 pm.”

The tragic murdered bride who has returned from the dead looking for her lost love and causing panic and fear to the living is things of town legends and camp fire stories, and Poor Donna is those stories come to life…or is that death? I would guess that while on this hayride you would hear Poor Donna calling for Alex and she would think that one of the visitors was her love or that they did something to him. Imagine this undead bride thinking you are her should have been husband and becomes obsessed with you throughout your ride…scary stuff. Poor Donna should have gotten a SOV Horror Film made around her as that would have been cool, or someone should team with Jason’s Woods and make an indie Horror Anthology Film about their classic characters, just saying that would be very cool.

Card # 2

# 3

Gretchin The Witch

“Casting Her Spells Upon The Visitors At Jason’s Woods Has Became Her Favorite Amusement. Be Careful…Her Pets May Be Deadlier Than She Is!”

Gretchin The Witch is a frightful delight as you know that her appearance made many visitors scream with fright, and then you also know she placed many of curses on the visitors of Jason’s Woods over the years. Also one has to wonder if she is a dangerous spell caster but they are warning you of her pets they must be truly evil then if they are deadlier than she. There is just something spooky and classic about Gretchin as you can never go wrong adding a traditional looking witch like her to your Horror attraction as when you see a witch like her you truly do flashback to images of Halloween of your youth when many of your female friends dressed like one to go trick or treating and many of your neighbors had witches as decorations.

Card # 3

# 2

Lamar

“Constantly Trying To Satisfy His Craving For Human Flesh, This Zombie Violently Attacks His Struggling, Screaming Prey. Lamar Can Appear Without Warning In Jason’s Woods, And Is Totally Relentless In His Insane Desires.”

Pennsylvania is the birthplace of the zombies as we know them in pop culture thanks to the films of George A. Romero like Night Of The Living Dead, Dawn Of The Dead and Day Of The Dead, so what would a haunted attraction in PA. be without a featured zombie and Lamar is that undead flesh eater that spooked the visitors of Jason’s Woods. As I can see it now Lamar shambling around the Hayride looking for fresh human meat grabbing at visitors as they ride past him, blood and gory parts smeared all over him. Zombies are such a great way to add frights to an attraction like this as who doesn’t like creepy undead beings trying to rip you apart to feast on your insides. I wonder how many guests Lamar has scared so bad that they fainted, I mean look at this ghoul you know he made someone go down in his time haunting Jason’s Woods.

Card # 4

# 1

Zebadias

“The Most Powerful, Evil Creature To Ever Stalk The Soil Of Jason’s Woods. All Other Creatures Stay Out Of His Path. Once In His Awesome Grip, Victims Quickly Succumb To His Powerful Jaws And Razor-Sharp Teeth. Be Careful…Zebadias Is Capable Of Changing Form. His Power Is Second To None!”

Hands down my favorite creature of Jason’s Woods is Zebadias, who appears to have been the main villain of the hayride. And he is one of those creatures I would have loved seeing as a kid just as much as I would now as an adult. Imagine being on that Haunted Hayride and seeing Zebadias coming after you, I wonder if he made noises like growls and screams or if he could talk and make threats? Zebadias is a character that I would love to know about like his full backstory and the legend around him. I would also love to write a Horror Comic Book about him in Jason’s Woods and team with artist Jeff Potter to do it, just a full 12 or 22 page comic about this creature.100% Zebadias is the creepiest, scariest and most bad ass creature of Jason’s Woods and possibly of any Haunted Attraction ever!

Card # 1

Are you terrified? I am sure this update has made you have even more Halloween Spirit as what is not to love about classic Haunted House Attractions as over the years I myself have been to many as I am sure all of you have as well. And for those of you wondering, Jason’s Woods is still going strong and make sure to visit their website here and make your way there to check them out. I know I plan on going some day as I wonder if Zebadias is still there as I would love to meet that roaming creature of the woods and shake his claw for all the scares he has caused over the years. I wish Jason’s Woods would bring back doing the trading cards and keep them in the same design as these ones and release a new set every year or two and showcase all the monsters and creatures that are haunting those woods now, so if anyone from Jason’s Woods is reading this, please bring back the trading cards! Fr all our local Haunted Houses and Attractions like Riverside Jaycees Haunted Castle, Hell’s Dungeon, Nightmare On Valley Street, Dayton Scream Park and Land Of Illusion you guys should do cards like this as well, as they are great promotional tools for your attractions. Well I hope you enjoyed this quick pop up Horror Themed update as it was lots of fun to write and who knows over the years and decades maybe I will do more frightful quickies like this one. So until next time, read a Horror Comic or three, watch a Horror Movie or two, open a pack of Horror Trading Cards and as always support your local Horror Host! And really I would love to do a comic book on Zebadias! Also the Ape Man update is coming up next!