Chuck Norris as Chuck Norris in Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos!

Posted on May 20, 2013 by bloodlinematt

In the late 70’s and throughout the 80’s, larger than life action stars were box office hits. Names like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Charles Bronson, Jean Claude Van Damme, Dolph Lundgren and many more were flooding the market and being idolized by young males across the world. I was a huge Stallone fan and loved his films like Rocky, First Blood and Cobra, but there was always one action star long before it became “cool” and a “fad” to like that always captured my dad, brother’s and my attention – Chuck Norris! Way before hipsters thought Walker Texas Ranger was funny and before his facts were an internet sensation, Norris was kicking ass in films like Missing in Action, Breaker Breaker, Hero and the Terror, Silent Rage and Lone Wolf McQuade proving that he was one of the best B-movie action stars of the time. I remember as a kid watching Missing in Action 1 & 2 and wanting toys of lead character Colonel James Braddock, and while I understood that being a P.O.W. was a bad thing, years later when I was a teenager I understood the real message in the film. Another funny story about Chuck Norris is when my brother was younger he loved the movie Meatballs and one day my dad was watching Silent Rage on HBO and told him that it was Meatballs II. My brother sat with wonder and watched waiting for the Alien to appear, instead he got a film where Norris was going up against an un-killable killer! This freaked my brother out and added for chuckles many years about Meatballs II. If you want to check out any of Norris’s films you can find them on Beta, VHS, Laserdisc, DVD and Blu-Ray!

In 1986, Chuck Norris also was involved in a cartoon called “Chuck Norris and the Karate Kommandos” in which Chuck Norris plays a government operative in charge of a team of martial arts commandos that battles a organization called VULTURE lead by The Claw and his right hand man Super Ninja. It lasted one season for only 5 episodes and was made by the great Hanna-Barbera company. The cartoon also from time to time airs on Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network. Growing up I never watched the show that much, and while I remember it airing, I never found myself wanting to view the animated adventures when I could just watch the live action films. The Karate Kommandos has been released on VHS and DVD-R and has become a cult classic.

In 1986 Kenner also made action figures to go along with the animated series and much like the toon it was based on, the toy line was also very short lived. Multiple figures based on Chuck Norris were made as well as all the Kommando’s and Super Ninja. Also vehicles were made as well as plastic weapons rounding out the merchandise that was made around the short lasting series. I did however own some of the figures, and all the ones I owned were Chuck Norris. The figures themselves were well made and well sculpted toys for the time. In school I knew a few kids that had some of these figures, and the most popular one I saw the most kids have was the purple Super-Ninja. In fact, I still have my Norris figures, and Game Swap in Kettering, a place I get some of these comics has one in store!

Chuck Norris fever has died down a little and seems to have passed as one of those annoying hip references that made you want to punch the hipster spewing it who clearly never seen a Norris film in their self absorbed life. But this did not stop the wave of Norris-inspired merchandise that included books, t-shirts, mugs, folders, posters, notebooks, key chains, stuff dolls, bobble-heads and so many other products! So if you are a true Norris fan, there is some great stuff out there for you!

Chuck Norris, who as of early 2012 is 71 years old, was in the Air Force as an Air Policeman, and while stationed in South Korea, he decided to learn the art of self-defense in the forum of Tang Soo Do. This started the path of an action superstar, but not before Norris became a karate champion and a teacher of the art of self defense teaching such stars as Steve McQueen, Bob Barker and Donny and Marie Osmond in schools he opened. In 1969 Norris began his acting career in the Dean Martin film The Wrecking Crew and has been making movies since! Some of his best known film work includes Missing in Action, Delta Force, Way of the Dragon, The Expendables 2 and Lone Wolf McQuade. Norris also made it into the TV world, not only known for the 1986 short lived cartoon “Chuck Norris and the Karate Kommandos” but more so for his 1993 series “Walker Texas Ranger,” which ran on CBS for over eight years. Norris also became a spokesman for products like The Total Gym Work Out Machine and the computer game World of Warcraft. Noris is also known for being a diehard Christian and Republican has also written several books on his beliefs. In 2005, Norris also became a internet hit when “Chuck Norris Facts” started to infect everyone’s Myspace page who thought of a funny way to show just how kick ass Norris is in a tongue in cheek kind of way. Norris continues to be an icon in the world of action stars and will always be known as one bad ass dude!

Before I get into my look at the 4 issue run of The Karate Kommandos from Star Comics I would like to share some memories I have of Chuck Norris. I always remember watching Chuck Norris on the then Ted Turner owed station TBS, that seemed to always be showing a Missing in Action film or Breaker, Breaker, and I can’t count how many times I would sit and watch these films over and over. I always remember wanting an action figure of Norris’s character Colonel James Braddock of Missing in Action because of watching those movies on TBS. That’s one thing I miss about TV, now that Turner is no longer in control of TBS and TNT, all the amazing programs those stations delivered to me in my youth. I mean I grew up watching many of the programs they would air from all the old reruns of The Andy Griffith Show, Gilligan’s Island and Little House on the Prairie to hosted programs like Joe Bob Briggs on TNT’s Monstervison, Grandpa Munster hosting Super Scary Saturday and even Dinner and a Movie with hosts Paul Gilmartin, Annabelle Gurwitch and chef Claud Mann. One of the things on TBS in the 80’s my brother and I would look forward to was watching NWA and then later WCW wrestling, and nothing was more epic then the PPV type event that was free to watch called Clash of the Champions where you would be able to watch wrestling legends like Ric Flair, Lex Luger, Sting, The Rock n Roll Express and many more battle in matches that had so much build up. Those truly were the days. I have great memories of watching old NWA shows on winter Saturday evenings at my grandparents’ house as the fire place was warming the room, and my grandpa, dad and brother all sat around and watched the likes of the Four Horsemen and Dusty Rhodes. Also I love how back in the day all shows on TBS started five minutes later like 6:05. Odd, I know but a great gimick. I wish Turner would come back to bring a new station to airwaves and give us back some of this classic shows he once aired. Say what you will about the man, but he knew what he was doing when it came to cable TV. I mean his stations gave you a little of every thing if you wanted to see sports, news, classic shows, movies, horror hosts, wrestling, original programs and much more then look no further then a Turner owned station. So here is to Chuck Norris, Ted Turner, TBS and TNT for some great memories growing up, and here is to hoping Turner will return to doing what he does best, making one hell of a great TV station.

I want to remind everyone that I grade these comics on a standard 1-4 star scale and look for entertainment value, art, story and how true the comic is to its source material. So with that, let’s kick some butt with Chuck Norris and his Karate Komman

Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos # 1 **
Released in 1987 Cover Price .75 Star Comics 1 of 4

Too Much is the youngest member of the Karate Kommandos, and while at school he and his classmates are held hostage by evil ninjas led by Super Ninja, who works for Claw. They are there in order to exchange the kids for a government anti-terrorist vehicle that is packed with state of the art weapons. But things don’t go as the ninjas wanted as Chuck Norris along with his Karate Kommandos that include Kimo a sword expert, Reed a young man Norris has taken under his wing as well as his sister Pepper who is a master of repairing and driving cars, wolf the team pet and Tabe a sumo wrestler who loves to eat, all come to the rescue and clean house of the evil doers and saving Too Much and all his classmates.

This issue was pretty weak to start a series off by and focuses way too much on Too Much who for all accounts is a brat who blows off school work and uses his friendship with Chuck Norris to act popular with his peers. Chuck Norris walks around like a silent badass who only gives one liners when needed and then turns into a walking PSA about working hard in school. The rest of the team for some reason kept reminding me of the gymnastic teens from the Mr. T cartoon mixed with the A-Team but not as nearly bad ass. I think the biggest problem with this issue is the lack of character development, like who are these Karate Kommandos and why is a movie actor like Chuck Norris the head of the team? Who is Super Ninja and why didn’t he come to the school himself if this was such a huge operation? And why is The Claw never shown? Given the fact that the cartoon was bombing on TV and kids weren’t flocking to Children’s Palace or Toys R Us for the figures, you would think that Star would have put a little more background into this issue to help push this comic series to do better then everything else attached to it. Not to mention the storyline in this issue is weak and seems like a back up story for an issue that ran short. The artwork is your typical Star Comic look so I kind of like that, and the cover is pure cheese so it does have that going for it. Over all this issue is not impressive and a very bad way to start off Chuck Norris’ first comic book run.

Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos # 2 **1/2
Released in 1987 Cover Price .75 Star Comics 2 of 4

Chuck Norris and his Karate Kommandos are hired to protect a new super computer that has been targeted by VULTURE, but when it’s Reed and Pepper’s turn to watch the super machine, sibling fighting happens and Reed storms out and meets Margie, a young woman who’s mom is sick and has been hired by The Claw to steal it for cash to help her mom who needs an operation. Meanwhile Ninjas break in and steal the computer and kidnap Pepper. Reed returns at the same time as his team and all get a shock to find they have failed to keep it safe. Meanwhile the ninjas as along with Margie have Pepper and are trying to force her to show them how the computer works, only for Margie to take a stand and help Pepper escape just as Chuck and the Kommandos come in for the save. In the end Chuck gives the reward money to Margie for her mom’s aid.

This is more like it; a comic filled with action, drama and takes the focus away from the youngest member of the Kommandos, Too Much, and showcases the brother and sister team of Reed and Pepper and has them showing real sibling rivalry. The messages are clear in this one: always be there for family and you should never abandon your responsibility. Chuck takes more of a back seat in this one and is only used when needed. As for action, while it’s not every page, the times it’s used it really works! The bad guys in this issue are all the generic ninjas of VULTURE and Super Ninja nor Claw make an appearance. This doesn’t make much sense and adds no major threat to Chuck and his crew. I will say that I also feel that this issue captures more of the cheesy charm of the cartoon. Over all this is a step in the right direction for this series. The art work is same as last issue, and the cover is in your face with Chuck Norris landing a flying kick. Let’s see how issue three goes in this “action” series.

Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos # 3 *1/2
Released in 1987 Cover Price .75 Star Comics 3 of 4

Chuck and Kimo are practicing with swords to see who’s the best in a friendly way as Tabe is in the kitchen making himself a feast. During a break in the spar Kimo hears Tabe giving advice and life lessons to fellow Karate Kommandos. First up is Too Much, who is having an issue that involves his friend and him being forced to have spelling bee against each other in school. So Tabe tells him about the first time he met Chuck that had them sparing with sticks on a log to impress friends. Reed is next and talks about how some friends are going to cheat at a sporting event, and this time Tabe tells a different story about how he met Chuck that pertains to the situation. This continues with Pepper, who is having guy issues. In the end Kimo asks Chuck who has returned to spar how he met Tabe, and none of the stories he told was correct!

Issue three is all about Tabe, the lovable slob sumo wrestler who loves to eat and as this issue exposes, tell lies! This is not a very good message to teach young readers as Tabe lies several times to trusted friends in order to give them guidance that will help them with an issue that is bothering them, but even a white lie is still a lie. The worse thing about this issue is the fact Tabe makes himself out to be this amazing hero in every one of his BS stories. Tabe is my second least favorite character from this comic/toon series, and this issue is all about him, making this one a so-so read. VULTURE and all its members take a backseat in this issue, and at no time during Tabe’s stories do you feel that he or Chuck are in any real danger, making this pretty lackluster in the action department. Issue three is clearly the weakest so far, and while some parts are fun, like the silliness of all the different ways he says he and Norris meet, its all the other fluff that makes it bland. The artwork is as it was in the past two issues, and this kind of holds the charm of the cartoon. The cover makes this issue look way more action packed then it is, and with this let’s move on to the final issue in the series.

Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos # 4 ***
Released in 1987 Cover Price $1.00 Star Comics 4 of 4

Chuck Norris has a visitor at the secret headquarters of the Karate Kommandos, and Its Jack Fredericks, who is taking over the West Coast Office that runs secrets teams like them. While there he is witness to Chuck and gang getting a mission that has them saving the daughter of a snotty Doctor named Johan Belson who has had troubles with Norris in the past. The daughter has been kidnapped by a gang of goons who are working for Claw and want secrets that Belson knows. With a distrust for the man they are helping, Norris and the Kommandos save the daughter and teach Belson what it is to be a man.

This is the final issue in the series, and they seemed to finally get that what they had was Chuck Norris action superstar along with a team of rough and tough Kommandos who were about fighting for freedom much like G.I. Joe. In fact this adventure reminds me of a Marvel Joe comic. Chuck Norris takes control in this issue and uses not only his kicks and punches but his brains and out smarts the baddies and uses his leadership over his crew to get the job 100% done. Normally annoying characters like Too Much and Tabe are far less unlikeable, as members Kimo, Reed and Pepper take a back seat to showcase Norris. Again the Super Ninja and Claw don’t make an appearance, and this time they use not even the ninjas but lame normal guys who try to put up a fight just can’t. This issue should have been the first in the series and all issues after this should have followed this style and formula to have made a good run of comics. The art work is the best it’s been in the series and seems as if someone who worked on Marvels G.I. Joe or Transformers comic lent their talents to this final issue. The cover’s pretty weak but can be compared to other late 80’s action covers from Marvel. All in all I can at least say that Chuck Norris Karate Kommando’s ended on a higher note then it started. I would like to thank Bell Book and Comic & Lone Star Comics for stocking these issues to make this review possible.

Thinking about the comic and cartoon series made me realize that the toon only lasted one more episode then the comic run making one see why this STAR comic run was doomed to being canceled from the start. And this series also got me thinking about pop group the Spice Girls because of the character Too Much having the same name as their 1997 hit song from album Spice World. Then I remember being a teen and thinking how hot those british girls in short skirts and tight cloths were and how damn catchy their songs were. My two favorites to look at were Posh Spice and Baby Spice, and I will not lie, I did have their CDs and also watched Spice World on VHS when it hit video stores. And did anyone else notice Baby Spices love for suckers, and how so wrong yet so right it was? Just take a look at the center picture, and Spice Up Your Life indeed!

Well in this update we looked at the movie and cartoon career of Chuck Norris, took a look back at Ted Turner owned TBS & TNT and even talked a little about the Spice Girls, but in the next update the gloves are off as we look at shock rocker Rob Zombie’s take on a legend we all know…..no, not his remakes of the Halloween series but his take on the crypto creature Bigfoot! So be here for the next shocking update.

Should Have Beens From My Friends

Posted on April 25, 2013 by bloodlinematt

Welcome back to part two of the wish list of what should have been made by Star Comics/Marvel. With my top 10 picks done, let’s take a look at a few others people’s thoughts and wants. This is going to be a long update, so sit back, scroll down and have fun looking at these picks down memory lane!

First up is my brother, Bryan Brassfield who is only three years older than me and also grew up through the 80’s and 90’s. Bryan is a collector of movies and toys and also enjoys a good comic. In fact, when we were younger he used to make his own comic called “Weird Tales of Waynesville,” a fun horror comedy look at our home town. Bryan has also directed a few no budget films that include Twisted Batman and Nightmare. He also was making a film called The Kenny Rogers Project that fell into development hell. Bryan also has acted in many Andrew Copp films that include Black Sun, Atrocity Circle and Quiet Nights of Blood and Pain, and played a drunken abusive father for Josh Weinberg in his One Second Too Late series. Bryan now is married and lives peacefully with his wife and daughter in Germantown, Ohio. So without further ado, let’s get on to his top 5!

Most people wouldn’t give a shit, but I would have loved to seen a Sucker-man comic book with him being a crime fighter!

Hey WWF and WCW had their own comic books, why not the AWA! Imagine Sgt. Slaugher, Rick Martell, and Greg Gagne battling the likes of The Road Warriors and Baron Von Rashke.

Gross out humor comic that would be a combination of Mad/Cracked magazines with the Garbage Pail Kid gang. This would have been really cool.

Another comic book that would have a good cast of characters who could have dealt with the mythology and back story. If I’m not mistaken, I think it also had a Manga based on it.

Note From Matt: Small Publisher BlackThorne had a 4 issue run of Battle Beast in 1988.

They probably made a Magna out of this, but I think they could have done one for American audiences that would feature Muscle Man and his “Thug Busters” battling Teri-Bull and his “Cosmic Crunchers.”

The second to share his list is my cousin Stephen Alexander II, who just so happens to also be one of my best friends. At a young age Stephen lived for Bon Jovi, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Horror Films, and Nintendo, but he was terrified of Chucky from Child’s Play that lead to many pranks that I am sure warped him to this day. Nowadays Stephen is one of the founders of a beard & mustache club in Dayton called the Gem City Gentlemen of the Guided Beard who have been seen on the IFC show Whisker Wars. Stephen also is a no budget actor who has starred in such films as Wolf Hunter 2, Vampire Peeper of Greene County and Bark at the Moon: Oliver to name a few. He also enjoys a fine glass of beer and repairing old smoking pipes. He also is responsible for helping me to find and dig up Baron Von Porkchop to host the show Terrifying Tales of the Macabre. So let’s get to his top 5 list!

To me this is a no-brainer, you have just the right amount of disgusting mixed with a cast of crazy characters to make a great comic. They could have literally done anything with this (besides make a crappy movie). A comic would have been a perfect route for this franchise.

This one may take a little bit of imagination, but it could be done. The way I picture it is you follow a main character or several main characters that are on a quest to defeat arena Pog masters all over the world to be crowned Pog king or champion or whatever. While he/she/they are on their quest they run into all kinds of insane Pog warriors. I think it would have made a great series of comics, and hell I probably would have owned the whole set.

I think this was another huge missed opportunity on it’s creators part. This could have been an epic journey through the mind. As a mad scientist creates these nasty Crawlers to take over the world, but one hero/heroes stands in his way. Every edition could have different ways the mad scientists makes new Creepy Crawlers, and the hero/heroes have to find a way to stop him. It would have been comic gold!

I loved this show as a kid, and it would have translated into comics amazingly. They could have just continued the travels of Mike and the robots through space, and we could have caught a glimpse of what happens when they don’t have to watch a terrible movie. Every comic could even be a continuation of one of the shows even. It would have been something I would have owned for sure.

One of my all time favorite Nickelodeon shows. This could have easily translated into a comic. They would just take the Midnight Society and make them do what they do best, tell ghost stories. It practically writes itself, and they could do more with the comic that the show maybe wouldn’t allow, effects and that kind of jazz. Drawing it the pages of a comic would be much more cost effective I would think and it would have been a great comic book line for kids of all ages.

Next up is Matt Hoffman a friend of mine since high school and one of the co-founders of our no budget film company Independent B Movie. Matt is a comic fan and some would say a super fan of Superman. Matt used to have a crush on Britney Spears and is one hell of a good cook. Matt, known to his friends as Hoffman or Hotch, has been in many no budget films like Teen Suicide, Vampire Peeper of Greene County, Werewolf of Ohio 2, Bark at the Moon: Scars, Farmer Joe and is known for playing The Wolf Hunter in numerous films as well as writing and directing two films so far in that series. Hoffman no longer lives in Ohio but is still hunting wolves in Colorado. He also worked at Mavericks Cards and Comics as an early teen. Hoffman is a great friend and has picked some franchises that have had comics, and some odd choice ones for kid comics, but who am I to cross the Wolf Hunter!

I would have love to see this in a comic book form because it really reminds me a lot of a mix between Starship Troopers and Avatar. Both has its own merits , but if you took both those concepts and visual graphics, it would have been a cool concept to make as a regular series. Imagine the story would continue from the first game that then leads into the second game where its a terran all out battle. The last remaining of the hive enslaves the photos to destroy the terrans last stronghold before total annihilation.

Note From Matt: Publisher WildStorm had a 7 issue run of Starcraft in 2009.

The movie left out a lot of details and information as of how things really happened and what happened there after the peace between man and the machines. I would have loved to seen the different aspects of the creation of it to the total enslavement of all humans as batteries. I see the comic story breaking into several different titles given focus on certain characters like Neo, Trinity, and Morpheus along with Agent Smith. I can see one off branch giving the pre-story while others follow each character as it leads into the movies while even finishing the story after the movie series end.

Note From Matt: Small Publisher Burly Man had a 2 issue run of Matrix in 2003.

Hear me out on this one. With all the folklore and myths about the end of all supposed humanity and life will never be the same again based off of 1000 years old testimonies of a forgotten tribe, you could really have played with in so many ways. The movie was okay , but the comic could show different parts of the world or even how the world gets destroyed. The story could involve characters from all parts of the globe and how their civilizations and countries are preparing for an unknown disaster and not knowing how to prepare for it. Mass chaos would erupt and violence and devastation would rule the land. And it comes down to the exact moment, and the series ends just like that.

Now tell me that isn’t self explanatory . The story is awesome, you can go with different stories, different levels. The action and the graphics are killer and just overall it’s my favorite game of all time. I don’t really have to create to much imagination just to have it continue on where the games and movies have left off. I would love to have known more about Leon and Claire and the town of raccoon city before it got hit with the T-virus to during the initial onslaught of the zombies. Kind of like The Walking Dead but with those characters instead.

Note From Matt: Publisher Marvel had a 1 issue run of Resident Evil in 1996 that was a free give away. In 2009 Wildstorm had a 4 issue run and then a 6 issue run that started in 2000.

Now I know you expected this one to pop up. The story behind the movies are so in-depth that they really can’t be translated to film as well as into a comic form. The vast amount of characters and villains would be ample amount of writing material to create a graphic novel/comic series. I see it picking up from after Armageddon to find that The Wolfhunter has been left blind in one eye and one of his hand has been ripped off from his battle with Ravenger. Malice has been killed and Ravenger disappeared. The government has created a lethal army to hunt down and kill all remaining werewolves and to capture the Wolfhunter. Oliver was able to transform back to human form and is aiding in the capture efforts of the Wolfhunter. Duke and the Wolfhunter guild are in hiding while trying to regain forces to make one last stand against the Werewolves den. The Wolfhunter trains his apprentice to carry on his legacy as he fights his last battle.

Note from Matt – In 2008 a Wolf Hunter comic book was in the works and was being worked on by local comic artist Justin Wasson. The series while not fully dead in the water, is on the back burner and has been there for many years now. But never say never that this series might see the light of day, below is some art for the comic, so enjoy!

Now it’s time for a dear friend of mine named A. Ghastlee Ghoul, a local horror host from Dayton, Ohio. Ghastlee has been hosting his show “The Ghastlee Movie Show” since 1989 and has tickled the funny bone of late night TV viewers. Ghastlee also has appeared on many other shows such as New Shock Theater, Terrifying Tales of the Macabre, Media Only and many more. Ghastlee is the godfather of the Horror Host Underground, a show trading network that allows hosts to show fellow hosts in their area. He also hosts Weird Web Theater, a YouTube horror host show, and has done Friday Monstercasts on The Monster Channel. He’s also been nice enough to have me on his show to play his “son” or a crazed guy who says he is his son! Ghastlee has also directed movies like “Joe Nosferatu Homeless Vampire” and starred in films Black Sun, Songs in the Key of Satan. He’s written books and short stories and plays music in two bands! His band Splattertude is also the official band of Cinema Wasteland Horror Convention. Ghastlee also loves a good cigar and is a master of the Karaoke arts. I call Ghastlee Father and great friend, and a man who has inspired me in ways to create. So let’s get into his top 5 because I could go on forever on the legend A. Ghastlee Ghoul!

“One of my favorite games as a kid. Robots punching each other until their heads pop off. How cool is that? Long before Robot Jox or Real Steel, the Marx toy company knew how cool it is!”

“A bizarre late 60’s/early 70’s cartoon by Dave DePatie and Friz Freleng. Vibrant, surreal art and smart writing. The show only ran for seventeen episodes, but the concept has so many possibilities. In the right hands it could still make a great comic book series today. Maybe they could write in a robot.”

“Classic sci-fi. I’m surprised it was never turned into a comic. The Krell, monsters from the Id AND Robby the Robot?! Yes, please!”

Note From Matt: Small Publisher Inovation had a 4 issue run of Forbidden Planet in 1992.

“It’s a concept you could have as much fun with today as we did on Saturday mornings when I was a kid. Pre-Power Rangers stories where the kids are heroes…and, oh yeah, there are robots and things blowing up!”

“A given for me. My childhood hero! I could see Creep as your gentle, wry guide through the world of the macabre, and then at the end of every vignette he shows up and kicks the bad guy’s butt with a mighty HOO-HAH-HAAAAA!!! The best of all worlds! And Big Robot from Clubhouse 22 could even make a cameo!”

Next up is my pal Louie Lerma who is known around here in Dayton for being a founding member of the lucha surf rock band Team Void and for also being Retina on Horror Host show Mondo Smash A’ Go-Go! Louie is one cool guy, and we have worked on many TV shows and concert events together. In fact Louie is also the uncle of one of my friends, Bruce. So without anymore wait, let’s get to Louie’s List!

1960’s – Starting with one of my heroes Ray Dennis Steckler. He was an actor/director/ camera man/writer/ producer. He worked on low budgets. Ray Dennis Steckler was inspired by and used what was around him: friends/ family/ location/ costumes. He believed shooting without a script freed up the storyline which made his movies better. Scripts and props especially crippled movies because once you chase a script and must buy certain props you have stopped the movie’s creativity.

Ray’s Movie List: Wild Guitar. Thrill Killers. Incredibly Strange Creatures Who died And Became Mixed Up Zombies. Lemon Grove Kids. And so many more…

I would like to see this comic based on him as he is making one of his crazy movies. Each movie that he made is the issue title. Depict Ray putting together his movie and convincing other people to become part…. as the comic unfolds you will see the full feature itself. Just like in Ray’s movies such as the “Thrill Killers,” it starts out as an intense thriller and ends as a cowboy chase on canyon roads… wild ride plot twists always surprising and fun!!

One of my favorite Ray Dennis Steckler movie is “The Adventures Of Rat Phink And Boo Boo.” It starts out as a hostage movie, then the characters become superheroes by jumping into a closet to save the day! Leading up to the “Incredibly Strange” issue that would be a monster musical. You never know where each adventure will take you, loose storyline written as we draw up this comic using his stan!

1970’s – A comic based on horror show host, Svengoolie from Chicago on his show Screaming Yellow Theater. The comic would be drawn in R. Crumb style and follow Svengoolie as he hosts a mondo crazy movie. Each issue would open up with a special guest sneaking over to his coffin -knocking ever so gently to wake the star up!

The comic must highlight Svengoolie’s quick wit one liners firing off to the audience, draw them in left and right directions across the page, go wild with the comic like his style joke delivery. It would have to have him waving around a rubber chicken and having fun while having a blast with his guests, sketches sick parodies breaking out. Include commercial page inserts of products to use during his movies as funny jokes for breaks…

I would like to see this one made because I’m a horror show host myself and love Jerry G. Bishop as the original “Svengoolie” funny cool style.

1980’s – A fly-on-the-wall comic based on H.P. Lovecraft’s “Herbert West” and drawn Brian Yuzna style. Lead character likeness of 80-s actor Jeffrey Combs. The issues would be printed black/white using textured highlights in Re-animator neon green and bloodiest reds.

Issues begin at private research laboratory as Professor Grubber goes all through West’s career coming to experiment at America’s unsuspecting colleges. Feature his curt wit working through daily wicked routines. A day in the life of Re-animator: who he befriends to conduct experiments and his enemies due to his demoralized ethics. Have to feature taking off the Dean’s head; the head becomes a voice for devils advocate to West’s gruesome fun.

Note From Matt: Small Publisher Adventure Comics had a 3 issue Movie Adaptation in 1991, and a 4 issue run in 1992 followed. Dynamite Comics had a 1 shot issue in 2005.

1990’s – Twin Peaks -The Comic Saga. This was one of my favorite shows through early 90s. I love mysteries but I do believe David Lynch and the writers were messing with everybody! In this series the comic will explore Laura Palmer’s death affecting all Twin Peaks neighbors: quirky characters that knew and loved her.

The comic would be taking place in Twin Peaks after Laura’s death, narrated by Special Agent Dale Cooper, FBI speaking into his voice recorder to his secretary, Diane. Interjections by D Lynch via intercom speaker, telephone, one final cameo in front of the camera.

Twin Peaks soundtrack brings the dark mood: reverb resounding echoes of everyone’s life and thoughts. Too bad you cannot hear the music while you read the comic! (2012? Yes, easily the comic cover would have a CD insert/i Phone code/ recommendation for the reader to listen to the score by Angelo Badalementi as you feel this twisted story.)

2000’s – Based on true facts for paranormal and supernatural unexplained phenomena. Name this comic “Uncovered True Paranormal; Ghosts, UFO,s USOs, Mothman, Bigfoot, Sea Creatures, All Strange Creatures And Mysterious Landmarks As We Discover Them.”

Each issue would follow three cases/ encounters and their witnesses in regional proximity to each other. Maybe discover links as the comic explores the topics.

Each situation would feature experts to the scenario and bring the reader knowledge about each witnesses experiences. I would really love to see this comic use all new, latest technology invented to investigate these claims. A compelling comic series dealing in facts that keep growing as people learn more about all these phenomena and our world.

If anybody wants to take on these comics with me, please do. Thank you for reading my thoughts about the 5 decades of my life for comic books. This goes out to my buddy Matt Brassfield who inspired me to write this page.

Yours truly,
Luis Lerma

Chris “Bizcuit” Corwin is next up, and I have know this man since I was in my late teens when he was one of my managers at Blockbuster Video, and one of my favorite co-workers. Bizcuit nowadays works for a movie theater in the Greene and is also a stand up comedian that can been seen on the stage of The Funnybone Comedy Club! Bizcuit is a film lover and a comic book reader who has also was an extra in the Sylvester Stallone film Driven. So with that in mind let’s get onto the funny man’s picks for his top five should have been comics in his youth. Oh yeah, and he was a rebel and could not keep his picks to 5. So he did 8, and I am okay with that!

I think this would be great because there were so many more stories that are to be told and situations to get out of using everyday objects, gum, and paper clips. It would be like a “How To” guide if you were ever held hostage or had to defuse a bomb with only 30 seconds left.

Note From Matt: Publisher Image had a 5 issue run of Macgyver in 2012.

Crooked small town sheriff and his inept deputy who moves like a jungle cat (watch the show to get that joke) and their misadventures solving crime. With guest appearance occasionally by B.J. and the Bear. I liked Lobo even though he was flawed he tried to do good.

This just screams comic to me. Writers could delve in to Magnum’s history and his time in Vietnam. What is Higgins’ background? He could be a super badass and you would never know. How about Rick and CC? Plus as an added bonus it is set in Hawaii so comic book girls in bikinis.

Stephen King’s IT terrified me as a novel but as a movie not so much. IT took the form of Pennywise more than once over its lengthy existence. I want to know what that tale is. What is IT? Where does it come from? Why the clown? I feel there is way more horror to be expounded upon.

The what? The Shirts Tales. It was a cartoon from the 80’s that starred a panda (Pam), tiger (Ty), mole (Digger), raccoon (Rick) and an orangutan (Bogey- who was voiced with a Humphrey Bogart impression) and were a group of super agent spies with all the gadgets that lived in a tree in Central Park. Seriously, do I have to say more?

Aliens use a video game as a test to find the ultimate fighter pilot and then come to Earth to take him back so he can save their world. Spoiler alert: he totally wins. Is that it though? I mean there are a lot of bad guys in the universe. There is as many stories as there are stars.

Note From Matt: Marvel Comics Did a three issue movie adaptation of the film in 1984.

Perhaps the greatest kids movie ever made. My apologies to Surf Ninjas but you know it is true. I wanted and STILL want more Goonie adventures. They live in a coastal town there has to be more treasures find and bad guys foil.

And the number 1 thing I would have like to seen turned into a comic book is…..

The French Chef with Julia Child! I know you just read that and said WTF?! Yes, I said Julia Child. Why? Well quite simply I loved watching that woman cook. Yes I know they mad a crappy movie about her. Do you know what they left out of that movie? That Julia Child was a spook, a spy if you will for the Office of Strategic Services which in WWII was the forerunner to the CIA. She was Jane Bond and she could handle a knife and she could cook. She travelled the world under the guise of THE celebrity chef and was spying on people when she did it and no one saw her coming. Would anyone suspect her? Um no, because she is Julia F’n Child. It practically writes itself. Julia travels, cooks and spies. Throw in a bad cooking pun for some comedy whilst she is killing a bad guy or two and pesto! ( see what I did there) instant comic book heroine. You also get a positive role model for young girls. For those who like to cook you can put a recipe on the last page or two.

So, that is my list. I hope you enjoyed it and thanks to Matt for asking me to do this. I had fun.

I have known Jason Young for a very long time and met him via Mavericks Cards and Comics in Kettering Ohio. He was always trying to help me to find classic back issues and Topps comics when I was a teen shopping at the store. Jason is an award winning comic book artist who makes his own bio comics called Veggie Dog Saturn that comes out via his own comic company Buyer Beware Comics. Jason is also a no budget actor and has been in many films like Werewolf of Ohio 2, Slashers Gone Wild, Wolf Hunter 2 and Cocktober Blood to name a few. Jason also loves the 80’s hairband Poison and even has the band’s logo tattooed on his arm! Jason also does a podcast with our friend Eric called Gutar Trash. I also lived with Jason for a few years, and he was a great roommate and a good cook of tofu and eggs! Jason is a man who loves comics and movies and hates Magic the Gathering and with that let’s take a look at his top 5!

This TV series from the late ’80’s was more like a cartoon than the live action show it actually was. It featured not only a semi truck that could turn into a helicopter (I know right?!?) but also the Australian bodybuilder “Jacko” who used to do commercials where he screamed at the top of his lungs and burst through walls all in the name of selling Energizer batteries.

I would have bought this comic. It would’ve been drawn by Rob Liefeld and featured foil embossed covers. It maybe even would’ve included a trading card bagged in issue #1. It would’ve been so bad that it would’ve been amazing. So, so amazing.

This was a super short lived toyline that me and my brother went crazy for… and then it disappeared. It was like a cross between M.U.S.C.L.E.S. and G.I. Joe. They were tiny little metal army guys each one with distinct personalities (the fat bearded Harley was my favorite). Although Wikipedia says there was a comic I don’t believe it. I’ve worked at a comic book shop for more than two decades and have never seen one. There were six panel comics on the back of the action figure packages and those made me long to see a full length book!

The comic would’ve been pretty much like the ’80’s G.I. Joe comic. I mean let’s be honest here… Eagle Force was a G.I. Joe rip off pure and simple (they fought a terrorist organization called RIOT which featured soldiers and ninjas and was led by General Mamba) but it still remains one of my favorite toy lines ever and I would’ve absolutely loved to read a comic book about them.

This was an amazing cartoon from the late ’80’s based on Martin Short’s character from SCTV and Saturday NightLive. It was bizarre and subtle at the same time and featured science lessons by the Amazing Gustav Brothers and the live action horror host Count Floyd. This show could be an adult swim show… truly ahead of it’s time this thing was.

The comic most likely couldn’t have captured the vibe of the show but I still would’ve bought it. I definitely would’ve wanted all the different segments from the show as those were some of my favorite parts (The Gustav brother are responsible for my to this day only using unwaxed dental floss).

What young man in the ’80’s didn’t love the Garbage Pail Kids? The grossest, weirdest most hilarious trading cards ever to exist would’ve been great as a comic book! I mean, look how sweet the movie turned out? Okay, so the movie is kind of hard to watch but a comic could’ve been great especially since Art Spiegelman (a brilliant comic book writer/artist) came up with the series!

In my mind the comic would’ve been a series of short stories involving no more than a handful of G.P. Kids at a time. Maybe like those old Richie Rich, Casper and Hot Stuff comics where you’d get a few stories each issue. That way they’d be short and sweet… and hopefully gross and hilarious!

(Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere) : This would definitely be the ’80’s property I’d most liked to have seen made into a comic book. There were just so many great characters (like the evil Michael Jackson glove!) that it was mindblowing! When I was a kid I loved wrestling, monsters,robots and toys so this line was a no-brainer as it included all of those things. It was basically a toyline of two inch tall characters that would be right at home in a GWAR stage show… simply amazing.

I guess what I’d like to see in the comic would be quite simply: Mondo Violence! Sure you could throw in some comedy and perhaps some allegiances between some of the characters but I have to say the violence would be key. Since their name suggests they’re tiny little creatures maybe the intergalactic wrestling could take place under kids’ beds as they watch in delight while they should’ve been going to sleep… I don’t know. As long as it was uber violent and funny it would’ve been great to see.

Eric Shonborn is an amazing artist who back in the day worked on books like Razor Baby, and nowadays has his website Shonborn’s Carpal Tunnel where he gives his thoughts and shares a sketch a day. Eric has tried his hand at acting as well and has been on episodes of Terrifying Tales of The Macabre and starred in a movie called All The Marbles. He has also worked on many DVD covers that include Werewolf of Ohio for Warlock Home Video, Vampire Peeper of Greene County for Independent B Movie and did many covers for the releases of New Shock Theater on DVD. He also has three podcasts that include Gutter Trash, The View Masters and The Stupid Sexy Podcast in which he and his co-hosts talk comics, movies, TV shows and many more fun topics. I met Eric via Mavericks and became friends with him thanks to Jason Young and am proud to call him a friend! So with that let’s take a look at his top 5 picks!

My favorite sitcom as a kid, and quite frankly, as an adult. I still find it to be an absolute delight. I don’t think it’d be a great comic, but it’d be a weird comic, and 8 year old me would be all over it. During the later seasons, Night Court got more wacky and over the top and was almost like a living comic book anyway. In an actual comic, the sky would be the limit and nothing could be held back. The comic book adventures of Harry Stone and The Criminal Court Part 2 could be in session anywhere, anyway, anyhow.

Max Headroom was such an oddity. An ad campaign for Coca-Cola that took on a life of its own as a weird Britishy/American 80s vision of the post-apocalypse sci-fi tv show. Admittedly as a comic, Max would lose it’s greatest asset – actor Matt Frewer. But like Night Court, with comics there’s no budget or human limit to adhere to. The comic could up the ante in the sci-fi and apocalyptic imagery and go places the show could only have dreamed of.

It’s weird. I’ve never thought of myself as a sci-fi fan, and yet so much of what I loved as a kid was rooted in it, much like John Carpenter’s rebuttal to his own earlier movie, The Thing. He wanted to create a positive, friendly alien movie and in the process created the sympathetic and heroic Starman. There was a short-lived TV show that followed the movie. I’d imagine the comic would pick up from that, and maybe even gear the lead character to be a stripped down, low-level superhero of sorts while still playing with the Stranger in a Strange Land themes.

Man, this cartoon is so dumb and ridiculous. Even as a kid, I’m pretty sure I thought that, but I still loved it. I remember watching it all the time, but can barely remember it outside of the origin of the character. A young kid gets in an accident and fuses with his car, which he then can transform into. It’s so weird. The comic would just be a continuation of the cartoon, and it would be weird and make no sense and I would devour every issue and beg for more.

This is one is kind of a cheat. There was a three issue comic released in 2008 written by William Katt himself. There’s also a great parody/homage comic from the early 2000s called “Truth, Justin and the American Way”. The show was itself a sort-of knock off of Green Lantern. Aliens give a worthy human a powerful tool to save the world, but he loses the instruction manual. Wackiness ensues. The comic would be the show, but bigger and bolder. More comedy, more action, more emphasis on the haphazard superheroics of Ralph Hinkley and his friends and perhaps more superpowers. So like I said, there eventually was a comic, but not when I was a kid – when I wanted one and when I would have loved one.

Next up is my good friend and fellow co-worker at Mavericks, Jeremy Hoyt, who is a man who loves almost everything from Japanese culture that includes everything from Godzilla to Manga. Jeremy also is a super fan of Voodoo from the super hero team Wild Cats and also is a man who loves the Muppets and owns a few life size replicas. He is also a fellow member of the board game club I belong to and is a fellow PS3 player that has helped me beat such games as Resident Evil 6, Lost Planet 2 and Aliens Colonial Marines. He has also acted in a few no budget films that are not completed like Long Dead Winter and Frankenstein vs. The Werewolf. Hoyt is a living legend and one cool guy to call a friend, so let’s take a look at his top 5!

This was a great action game on the NES back in the 80’s and would make a great “period piece” comic series. I enjoyed the game and the art sensibilities of those 80’s video games would really make it stand out in the market today. A smart licensor could pair it with promotion of that show “The Americans.”

I see the story developing as a cross between political intrigue and all out action, think “Ghost in the Shell” meets “Rambo.” A group within Russia makes the calculation to launch a covert war against America and our allies and only one man, and his team of tactical advisors and espionage experts, can stop them.

This was one of my absolute favorite cartoons back in the day, mid 80’s. I and my little sister would stop whatever we were doing when it time for the show, and it dominated our lives for an entire summer. Fantasy adventure with a hint of a history lesson thrown in, what’s not to love.

The comic adaptation could follow the adventures of some of the secondary characters or maybe take place years before the show as a prequel. Fantasy and ancient technology merge in the midst of the Spanish conquest of South America and the subjugation of its people. Add in a possible alien invasion and boom instant classic.

This is one of those no brainers that I’m amazed never came to be. Yes, there were Metroid villains in “Captain N” and Metroid manga in Japan, but here in the states in the 80’s we got left out in the cold by Nintendo when it came to Metroid merchandise.

I don’t really need to say why this would be cool do I? Bad ass bounty hunter Samus Aran combs the galaxy fighting space pirates and monsters while in search of lost alien technology and the truth behind the living weapons known as Metroids.

To be honest I don’t remember too much about Robotics other than its amazing theme song…ROOOBOTIX, robotix… Anyway, it was a cool build it yourself toy line of giant robots. Transformers meets Legos. Yes, there was one issue made back in the 80’s but that was it, no series, no resolution.

Simply put I love robots, kids love robots. The possibilities of launching a franchise on the scale of Transformers would wet any executives’ appetite. Technology run amok, terrorists with giant robots to back them up, and a rag tag group of heroes working with sentient machines for the good of Earth. Oh, and a killer theme song… uhh, comics don’t have theme songs you say. Well, as a bonus the first issue could come with a soundtrack CD.

Yes, there have been manga, but as with Metroid, back in the 80’s we got none of that here in the states, and to be honest, there isn’t a Final Fantasy presence in comics today. It’s a huge franchise with limitless possibilities.

The story could literally go anywhere. Medieval fantasy epic, check, futuristic cyberpunk, check, alternate reality hoping, check, time travel, check. You name it, and it could happen in this book. It could even be an anthology series with different creative teams and different worlds for each story arc.

Bruce O Hughes is a local comic artist who I met via Mavericks Cards and Comics thanks to my friends Jason Young and Eric Shonborn. I quickly became friends with this talented man. Bruce has worked on many great local comics like Clobber Vance, Iron & Ink and Razor Baby, and has done many great DVD covers that include Terrifying Tales of The Macabre, Goatman of Maryland and episode 4 of The New Shock Theater. Bruce also does a comic podcast called The Break Ins where he and fellow local comic artist Justin Wasson talk about all things nerdom. Bruce has also tried his hand in acting and has been in All The Marbles and Missing. Bruce works for a local TV Station and also does some animation for Minor League Baseball Teams. So in short Bruce is your go-to guy when it comes to your artwork needs! So let’s get a few words from Bruce and then go into his top 5.

I was born in 1978 & prone to reading comic books on the many 4 hours drives to see my Granny in Kentucky once a month so I am no stranger to Star Comics. Many of its short lived titles such as Silverhawks, Heathcliff, Madballs & Count Duckula were right up there with Spider-Man & Batman for me. I loved being able to take their adventures with me where ever I went & having the oppurtunity to sit down & study exactly what they looked like as well as the world around them. Truth be told, I probably make my own comics because of the comic books that my dad bought me at the Hook’s corner drug store before every car ride down south. Thank Gawd I was an impatient child!

This is a movie I watched many times in school for some reason. I think it’s one of the few VHS tapes that the school owned so anytime we could not go outside for recess this, got crammed into a tape deck & rolled out in front of us. The story is simple in an unnecessary kind of way. There is a reason for the characters to spend some time together at odds with one another, then once they have achieved their goal they move on… but what if this was made into a Star Comic back in 1986, what would have happened after the credits rolled? I’d like to think the comic would have ignored the second half of the movie where David gets to go back in time & live a semi-normal life with his family & new alien pet. I’d like to see the comic start with Max & David showing up in the future, or an alien world, anywhere but where they wanted to go. The stories could have been about them trying to get David back home or Max completing his mission or even them returning all the other aliens on the ship to their homes. Each issue a different planet, a different problem. I would have bought this on sight!

What started out as a spin off of the Filmation Ghostbusters gave me an appreciation for not only westerns but also good old fashion sci-fi! I remember coming home from school to see the namesake Marshall & his horse, Thirty-Thirty, keep New Texas safe from Tex Hex & all the other no-count outlaws. It was perfect. There was that sense of old-timey home spun morals mixed with robots, aliens & even a time traveling Sherlock Holmes! These stories ended after 65 episodes & a failed movie… but what if they continued? There was a BraveStarr comic series but it didn’t last long & was in 3D. I’m talking old school blue & red 3D. Who liked that? Yuck. I like to imagine that the adventures of Marshall BraveStarr, Thirty-Thirty, Deputy Fuzz & JD would have translated to a universe spanning epic. There could have been other Marshalls, more of the legal system could have been explored, what happens when all the ore has been mined? It’s such a broad canvas to explore.

The teen drama that should be given credit for almost every CW show! Doogie was a super smart teen doctor. That’s it. The show had a straight forward concept but it used it to explore so many social issues… such as racism, sexism, insurance & its prices, aging, losing your virginity, spousal abuse, etc. This was a much deeper show that we would all like to admit & it ended abruptly. The last thing we ever saw was Doogie quitting his job & heading off to Europe. He was unhappy with the direction his life was going & had made the decision to leave it all behind & see what he could do with his natural talent besides make money & save a few while a majority suffered. If this story ever continued it could be the equivalent to “a hero’s journey” tale. Our young, once doctor, could travel around the world looking for something bigger than himself, stopping here & there to improve the lives of others along the way. It lends itself well to a monthly comic but even better a series of graphic novels. Hell, this may be the one idea on my list that could come back on television if done right!

First Teen Wolf was a movie, then a cartoon, then a TV show… why not a comic book? The cartoon differed a bit from the movie. For one, Scott Howard was still hiding his Wolf-ness from the town. The second big change was that he had more family, two grandparents & a younger sister. The cartoon only lasted two seasons & none of the episodes pushed the envelope when it came to new or original ideas. But… if there had been a comic I’m sure someone would have seen this for what it could have been; awesome! Think of a world that already has Werewolves, now why not other “monsters”? Vampires, ghosts, zombies, etc. could have all made appearances in the Teen Wolf world. This was ripe for new stories!

What can I say? Michael J. Fox was a big part of my childhood! We’ve all seen the movies, we all know the characters, there was even an animated series for a few years. Time travel will always lend itself to endless stories & in comics the budget is a lot less for a lot more than you could get out of a movie. Imagine if the story continued after Doc Brown & family drove off on their flying train (ignoring the animated series for a bit). Where did they go next? What did they do? Who did they meet? Why hasn’t there been another movie already?!?

Note From Matt: Publisher Harvey Comics had a few issues of the animated Back To The Future in 1991.

Garrison Kane is a friend I meet via Fairmont High School who was in the media class ahead of me, and one the the first times I met him, he was doing a prank call on the school radio station’s phone! After school I worked with Garrison at two jobs: Krogers and Blockbuster Video, and he works with me again currently. Garrison is a man who collects Nintendo products, Legos and Masters of the Universe vintage figures. Garrison is also known as Dr. Gakman to his friends and many video game forums, and has also been in many low budget films like The Sadness, Vigilante C: The Hunt For Man-Beast and Wolf Hunter 2. Gakman is also a member of the board game club and has been a great friend for many years so before we get to his top 5, here are some words from the one and only Dr. Gakman.

Hello, my name is Garrison Andrew Kane, and I’m here with my list of 5 franchises that never had a comic book series. It’s not really a “top 5” for me as I just came up with these rather quickly to put together for a friend upon his request on short notice. Also, as such, this isn’t going to be a comprehensive/descriptive list of what I’d personally want or think is needed to become a comic as most things that I really would want to be on a “top 5” list is probably already a comic.

This one is kind of a throw away which is why I list it first (I guess #5). As an ‘80’s child I can tell you it was HUGE for me and a lot of kid’s back then. As with anything that kids like and makes money it was a target for persecution by the powers that be (the “we hate _____ ‘cos it’s ruining our children” police, the media, hell…parents). Eventually they put an end to the fun, but not before Topps continued with GPK series’ reaching double digits, responding with an even more radical (and more violent) “Dinosaurs Attack” trading cards set to the theme of the old “Aliens Attack” cards before them (both of these also deserving of a comic) and then finally a Garbage Pail Kid’s major motion picture. If anyone remembers this would’ve been an easy conversion to comics as many cards had comic-book like panels on the back featuring silly stories about the gross characters from the universe.

If you know me you know I had to put in a Japanimation-themed franchise up for an American comic. There are TONS of Japanimation franchises, but I wanted to limit myself to one for this list. I looked up whether or not there was a Robotech (AKA Macross) comic (mind you, back when the cartoon first made it’s way to American TV circa ’85) in America and there actually was so I went with something less-known and Ronin Warriors (AKA Samurai Troopers) popped in my head. Now there certainly is a Japanese manga of this series, but nothing adapted into an American comic like was done for the Robotech cartoon. I think this one could make a cool comic mainly ‘cos of the armor and weapons…I imagine a really good artist could get lost on the details there.

Speaking of detail SSSF had amazing detail in the animation and character designs and again, this would translate best in comic for with the right artist. This entry is probably very obscure/unknown to most, but it was a short-lived (and equally short-loved) ‘90’s American toon that appeared soon after the “Con: The Adventurer” cartoon series was done and featured many of the same people (including voices) from said Conan cartoon. It seemed to follow the ‘80’s toy/cartoon formula much like say…He-Man or TMNT and the like, but it didn’t work as well. It was mean to be deeper, darker…more grown-up than those cartoons before it, but just never was a hit.

Mentioned TMNT already and that started as a comic and had the Casey Jones & Usagi Yojimbo spin-off comics too…but never a Neutrinos spin-off. So yes, I would like to find out more about these hot rodin’ teenagers from Dimension X (in fact, that should be the name of the comic, hmm: HRTFDX or maybe HTDX?). In this case it wouldn’t be so much about the art or even detail…but just to read what these far-out futuristic ‘50’s inspired daddy-o’s would say and where a hover car & dimensional portal would take them!

I’m a Nintendo nut…and my favorite franchises from them or…from anyone, is Metroid! Yes there was a Super Metroid comic in Nintendo Power magazine and there was a Japanese manga, but I would like more. But not too much more really…sometimes certain things are better left to mystery…so we can use our own imagination. When it comes to the Metroid games, I think it is better when there’s not too much story in it and likewise if they were to adapt it into a cartoon, movie or comic I would say just show the action…less story please! Too many sci-fi themed franchises spend too much time explaining everything and look ridiculous or boring as a result, with something as precious as Metroid is to me…I’d want the opposite. Metroid is at the top of any list you throw at me, but at the same time, I’m torn as to whether I’d want something like a comic or movie based off my favorite franchise ever to tarnish it. If either were a go, art (great special effects or 3D if a movie) like lenticular pages, holographic images implanted into certain panels of the comic or add glow-in-the-dark ink to find “secrets” while reading the comic in the dark would be what I’d want along with very detailed art. Action and art being the focus NOT story…leave that to mystery…which is part of Metroid’s charm.

Next up is my girlfriend Juliet Fromholt, a young lady who puts up with all my weird loves in all that is nerdom and who also loves all this geeky stuff! I meet Juliet at a used media store where she worked called CD Connection, and after a few years of being friends we ended up dating and are going on five years now. Juliet is a bright young lady who got a degree from Wright State and ran their Radio Station for 2 years. Juliet now works for a local NPR station as a reporter, DJ and webmaster. She can also be found as a movie and video game reviewer for Bloodline Video, and also acting in local no budget films like Quiet Nights of Blood and Pain and episodes of Terrifying Tales of the Macabre. Juliet is a great friend to the local media art scene and is a supporter of all things local, and a lover of theater arts. So with that let’s take a look at her top 5 picks.

They’re lovable; they’re huggable; they’re Pound Puppies! I was the proud owner of several Pound Puppies and Pound Purries (their feline counterparts) as a child. My 4^th or 5^th birthday was actually Pound Puppies themed complete with a pin-the-tail-on-the-Pound-Puppy game and a cake topped with figurines of Cooler, Nose Marie and the rest of the gang. I also still own the VHS of 3 Pound Puppies cartoon adventures including The Newborns at Camp Okay Boney. That story alone would make a great comic book, but really there are so many things they could do with the Pound Puppies characters all the while helping make a case for adopting shelter pets (and of course, the non-profit employee in me even envisions the proceeds going to help real-life shelter animals).

Based on the classic Universal Monsters, Count Chocula & company have become pop culture icons in their own right. They’re so iconic in fact that I can recite many of the commercials that aired during my childhood, without having actually eaten the cereal until I was well into adulthood. I was actually really surprised that there was never even a single-issue, prize in the box/mailaway comic created for these characters. When Matt asked me to make my Star picks, this was one of the first franchises that came to mind and it’s because of one particular commercial. In 1988, the Fruity Yummy Mummy and his accompanying cereal were introduced. The Yummy Mummy was, of course, another try at a mixed fruit flavored cereal, the first mascot thereof being the Fruit Brute. In the commercial, we see Count Chocula and Frankenberry exploring a pyramid. They fall through a trapdoor, into the tomb where the Fruity Yummy Mummy emerges from his sarcophagus and sings to them about his cereal (and yes, you can see this on YouTube). An expanded version of this story alone would have made a really fun comic – it’s like Indiana Jones meets Universal Monsters meets a well-balanced but sugary breakfast. While I don’t particularly think a series based on Count Chocula would have lasted more than 3 or 4 issues, I could dream up a wealth of story lines to keep it rolling for a while including sugary parodies of each monster’s Universal film/legend and the traditional Addams Family/Munsters-style haunted hijinks.

The California Raisins were born in 1986 when a member of the California Raisin Advisory Board exclaimed in a marketing brainstorm session, “We’ve tried everything except singing, dancing raisins!” So what did they do? Created singing, dancing raisins. The first appearances of the California Raisins were in claymation commercials and the Emmy-winning Claymation Christmas special, which is still one of my favorite TV holiday specials of all time. The Raisins made a few more claymation appearances as the individual characters were developed, and then they made the leap to Saturday mornings with their own cartoon. The cartoon only lasted 13 episodes, but it certainly made an impression on me as my mom and I still talk about the episode where the punk rocker Lick Broccoli (who was a guitar slinging stalk of broccoli) tried to steal the girl Raisins’ (The Sweet Currants) new song. Like that episode, most of the cartoon’s plots were based on the musical adventures and mishaps of the Raisins, and a comic based on the characters could certainly do the same. One of the things I always remember about the cartoon was the clever use of other fruits and vegetables for the supporting cast of characters. I think that would be so much fun and could have been done so well in a comic. One relic from the California Raisins brief media saturation is a really great line of Raisin figurines, similar to the Smurf figurines that made their way from Europe to the US in the 1980s. I have a fairly decent collection of the Raisins, but just learned that some of the side characters from the cartoon are also lurking out there somewhere. But that’s probably an issue to take up in a different blog.

Note From Matt: Small Comic Company BlackThrone Did a five issue 3-D run of the raisins in 1988.

It was just a given in my mind: there are He-man comics, therefore there are She-Ra comics. But we all know what happens when you assume….you’re wrong and you get no She-Ra comics because they don’t exist. Someone was seriously missing the boat on this one. I could actually see a comic version of She-Ra being almost like Sailor Moon in terms of franchise: a multi-arc book based on the title character and her universe with plenty of room to explore side characters either in their own arcs or even their own books. While there are certainly more female comic characters, especially in the hero’s role, today than ever, I still don’t feel like there are necessarily a lot of comics geared towards girls, and this franchise could have easily filled that void. I could see the series following the cartoon closely to appeal to younger readers, or, again, following the Sailor Moon model, it could taken the base action/adventure/fantasy storyline a bit deeper to appeal to teenage/adult readers. They could even follow DC’s Teeny Titans model with super kid-friendly stories about Adora, Glimmer and Madame Razz for the younger set and then a regular, more adult series. There’s of course, crossover potential with He-man characters and stories, and I could even see some of the She-Ra side characters getting their own mini-series/one-shots. A smart comic company with good writers could actually probably still make this happen with some success today – banking on nostalgic young ladies of the 80s like myself and then introducing the She-Ra characters to a whole new generation of young women. There’s such a wealth of stories to be told….if anyone needs me, I’ll be re-watching the cartoon series and taking notes.

Glamor and glitter, fashion and fame – Jem is truly outrageous…and much cooler than Barbie. The dolls were incredibly fun and each came with his or her own cassette tape featuring original music “performed” by the characters, and if you were super lucky, you’d play those cassette tapes in the built-in player in Jem’s toy limo. The cartoon series, which was recently released in its entirety on DVD, was also really fun and so of its time with lots of 80s rock and roll fashion and the popstar vs. punk rock vs. new wave story arc. As with the aforementioned ideas for She-Ra, a Jem comic would have been an awesome way to get more young women reading comics from an early age. The lead character has your classic comic trope of the alter ego – Starlight Music owner Jerrica Brown is really international rock sensation Jem. How does Jerrica balance her two lives and with whom does she share her secret? Throw in some amazing villains who are as loveable as the heroes in the form of the Mistfits and the Stingers, super computer/holographic helper Syngery and poor confused Rio who can’t decide if he loves Jem or Jerrica, and this book writes itself. It’s crazy that this wasn’t a comic, and even crazier when you consider that Marvel Productions had a hand in the cartoon.

Josh Weinberg has been one of my best friend since I moved back to Kettering when I was in the 9^th grade and was one of the first kids to go out of his way to be friendly to the strange guy in his Evil Dead T-shirt. Weinberg and I have worked many jobs together that include Krogers, Blockbuster Video and Game Swap and have worked on many films as well that include Andy Copp’s Black Sun, Matt Hoffman’s Wolf Hunter, and he has starred in many of my own films like Werewolf of Ohio, The Sadness and Cocktober Blood. Weinberg has also made his own films that include One Second Too Late, Two Seconds Too Late and Bark At The Moon: Oliver. He also spends holidays around Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as he works the photo sets located in the malls around here. He is also a sports nut and loves both the Cincinnati Reds and Bengals. He also loves to hunt ghosts and Bigfoot and doesn’t mind roaming the backwoods of Ohio trying to find the legends with me. He also is a fellow music lover and has been to many concerts with me that include seeing bands like Motley Crue, Alice Cooper, Cinderella, Poison, Dokken and Kiss to name a few. He is married to his wife Lisa, and I was his best man in the wedding. Josh is a kick ass guy that I am happy to call friend and with that let’s get into his top 5.

Number five on my top five would have to be Tony the Tiger. Growing up I would always love to see that tiger come on the screen to advertise his cereal. Nothing wrong with sugar coated cereal in my opinion. I think it would have been cool to make Tony the Tiger a super hero. Kind of like Batman or Superman in the sense that he would have an alter ego as the cereal selling tiger but by night he would be out fighting crime. He could even team up with other mascots to aid him in this. The possibilities for this are endless as far as story lines.

Number four on my top five list would be Secret of the Nimh. Growing up this was one of my all time favorite movies. I used to watch it over and over again just to see what would happen. As if anything would change each time I watched it. I think it would have been cool to see maybe some adventures that the characters could have had exploring the world of Nimh after the second movie. They would just go off and explore the rest of the world. Mix in maybe some more back story into the main characters of the first film that did not survive.

Number three on my top five list would be Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Same thing as Secret of the Nimh, this was another childhood favorite of mine. To this day I still love this movie and hated to see it remade. The movie portrays all the diferent types of people that are in the world all the way down to your average good person that may or may not have everything they want but make the best out of everything. Proving that hard work and dedication as well as some morals really do pay off. If I was writing the comic, I would love to see where Charlie takes the chocolate factory after he takes over. To see if he would open it up more or keep it just as secret as always.

Number two on my top five would be the video game Montezuma’s Revenge. I remember this game growing up because it was on the first video game system that we had, the Atari. It was contained on the floppy disk. I just remember sitting there for hours playing this game and not getting bored but somewhat frustrated with it, trying my hardest to beat it. The comic for me would be simple; just show the adventures Panama Joe would have while trapped in the temple. The whole goal would be to escape the temple and free himself and his people.

Number one on my top five list would be the Cincinnati Reds, especially the 1990 squad that went wire to wire. Growing up I was like most kids, loved sports and playing outside. Then came the 1990 Reds. They are the reason I still love the Reds to this date. They had so many characters on that squad that just made you want to watch. Everyone from Chris Sabo (which I had a book as a kid where he was my coach) to Eric Davis, Paul O’Neil and of course Barry Larkin. I would have loved to be able to have read a comic based on that year. Then going on into Reds history in general. There is a lot of rich baseball history in Cincinnati. Even though most of those players did not last very long in the majors. That year and that team to me remain one of the best in baseball history.

Kipp Poe Speicher is a fellow no budget filmmaker that I met in my days of traveling to horror film conventions, and we quickly became friends. Kipp Poe has made the short film Dreadful and has worked on many other films that include Werewolves of the Relic, Cult of the Jester and Church of the Eyes. Kipp is also an author of digital books now and is one all around great guy. Kipp also is the man who filmed Josh & Lisa Weinberg’s wedding! So with that in mind, let’s get to Kipp’s Top 5!

Max A Collins Nathan Heller series made into comic form as the Private Eye revisits popular True Crimes of history and gives us an alternate reality of them as he tries to solve them.

Universal Monsters was a big influence on my childhood I didn’t watch many cartoons but always loved it when Super Host would have on any of the Universal Monster shows on. I think a comic book of them teaming up would have been a cool read.

It was an album that formed my life and I could see a series based on it as a youth and being alienated and building a world around you of Art and noise.

Manos The Hands of Fate …Why because it would have to be incredibly awful and a total trip.

A comic book series geared towards crimes that happen in today’s world and the steps that Law Enforcement takes to put an end to it. The series would give insight to children what cops do and hopefully bring social acceptance between youths and Police. This would also work with Adam 12.

I meet Rick Martin via my brother Bryan and friend Andy Copp and quickly became his friend. Rick is the owner of RMM Agency that put out Ultra Man, Cannibal Ferox and Best of Shock Theatre on VHS. He is also one part of the team that brought Dayton horror host icon Dr. Creep back to TV with The New Shock Theater. Rick was also Dr. Creep’s manager and close friend. Rick Martin loves board and role playing games as well as horror films, Godzilla, Samari Cinema and the hit BBC show Dr. Who. He also is one of the original team members who put on Horrorama, an all night horror movie marathon for charity! Rick also taught classes at Sinclair Community Collage about classic horror films and is currently teaching classes at SWORD about the films of Kurosawa. I am proud to call Rick and friend and with no further ado here is his top 5.

The action figure and toy line called Horrible Hamilton. These toys were of giant space insects and the humans who are fighting them off from world domination. They toys were amazing and a comic would have rocked!

King Zor was a giant space dragon toy from my youth. A comic series about his exploits, conquests and battles would have been a child of the 1960s dream!

I would have loved to have seen a comic book of the Rat Patrol TV series. Watching those soldiers fight Rommel’s Africa Corp on TV was fantastic – a comic could have been even more so!

Note From Matt: Publisher DELL had a 6 issue run of The Rat Patrol in 1967.

I always wanted a comic series following the exploits of the Universal Monsters. It would have been cool to see them all meet up and fight!

Last but not least, I always wanted to see a regular comic book series following the adventures of my favorite anti-hero of the movies – Peter Cushing’s Dr. Frankenstein from the Hammer film series! Imagine him moving from town to town trying to perfect his perfect creation while the church and the judicial authorities try and catch him and make him pay for his unholy experiments!

The titan of no budget fright, The Warlock is next! I met The Warlock thanks to Chris Seaver and came to respect him for his love for low budget cinema. The Warlock, for those of you who don’t know, is the spokesghoul for Warlock Home Video, a company that puts out shot-on-video films on both DVD and VHS. I have even had the honor of being interviewed by The Warlock about making Werewolf of Ohio and The Sadness! Now be warned, The Warlock lives and grew up on the darkside so his picks are a little more sinister than most! So here is a few words from the man and then let’s take a look at this cool ghoul’s top 5.

Greetings Horror Fiends, The Warlock here from Warlock Home Video. While resting in my crypt, I came to contemplate why so many amazing things in this world have not been turned into ghoulish comics. Here is the Warlocks Top 5 list of things that should have been comic books:

Who wouldn’t want to read about the comic misadventures of one of the most beloved psychos of all time?

Invading naked aliens dropping weird space slugs on to earth, creating zombies out of college kids+Atkins= MAGIC!

Our hero’s come back to try and take over the world from those pesky kids that get in the way.

Angela throwing more parties from hell would be a charming bedtime read for any young goblin.

The Warlock! There has yet to be a comic of the most feared and revered member of the occult. I would be a perfect fit for the pages of a devilish comic. Eat your heart out, Archie. I am coming for you!!!!!!!!

Mike Ritchie is a legend and is one of my only friends that when you speak of him we all use his full name. I met Mike Ritchie some years back when I was a teenager and he worked at Blockbuster Video. Later I also became an employee, and we worked the same store for a short amount of time. We became friends over the fact we both love old school pro wrestling and horror films. Mike Ritchie has also done a few acting bits for such films as Wolf Hunter 2, The Sadness and Farmer Joe, a film he also wrote and directed. Nowadays, Mike Ritchie writes concert reviews for Dayton Most Metro and a few other news websites. He also works a factory job and looks a lot like The Son of Hercules from the horror host show Terrifying Tales of The Macabre. Mike Ritchie is a good and loyal friend and has picked a few odd choices and some modern ones, but no one tells Mike Ritchie about rules! So with that let’s look at his top 5 picks.

The Ring with a Grudge tie in-two rare movies that creeped me out, maybe have characters encounter each other and have a final battle ala Freddy vs Jason. The video could be watched in the grudge house to start things off.

I was really disappointed when this got cancelled leaving lots of unanswered questions. I don’t know if they had already written out the reason the prisoners were coming back without aging or not but I’d read them if the series continued.

Some people hated this show (which had nothing to do with the movies) but I really liked it and thought it was cool and spooky. Each issue would be based on an episode and they could continue where the series stopped. As a wink wink joke the comics themselves could be put into a vault.

Two potential versions 1.Satisfying his dark passenger Dexter travels through time stalking and killing histories most infamous mass murders and serial killers either before, after or during their storied kills. 2. Dexter imprisoned for life trying to avoid being shanked, having no choice but to control the urge as well as he can, must resort to imagining/dreaming his kills, spending time in the library reading about histories greatest serial killers. He could get so obsessed he starts imaging prisoners as these killers or use the code to figure out which inmate deserves to die the most.

The Boogie Man-WWE-he wasn’t a great wrestler but I liked his makeup, entrance and character. He’d make a great comic guy, good or bad. The worms could be the symbolic swallowing of souls if he was a bad guy.

Next up is Chicago area Horror Host Count Gregula, who besides the hometown hosts like A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Dr. Freak and Dr. Creep welcomed Baron Von Porkchop and myself into the horror host family with open arms and blood soaked fangs. Count Gregula began his show “Count Gregula’s Crypt” in 2005 and continues to film episodes from time to time. Gregula is a huge fan of all things Grandpa Munster, Svengoolie and cheesy horror films. He lives and stalks the streets of Illinois and is an all around cool undead blood sucking ghoul! One fun time I had with him was when at a Horrorhound Weekend Baron Von Porkchop, Viola Poison, Susie The DJ and myself had dinner at a small diner with Count Gregula, and the looks he got for his full-on vampire appearance were the stuff of vampire folklore. So with that, let’s get to this vampire horror host’s top 5 picks!

Loved them back in Da Day! These characters from my favorite animatronic band of the 1980s could have individual lives in the comics along vith a background story of how they met to form their famous band!

I loved this cartoon as a little vamp! Read the comic adventures of Inspector Gadget panel by panel and see in living color all his gadgets go crazy in the process!

The 4 band members of this show are comics so for them to be made into a comic is just the next step. The comic can even be more of a lampoon than the show and maybe include an actual monkey in the mix!

Note From Matt: Publisher DELL had a 17 issue run of The Monkees in 1967.

He is a perfect living character to make a comic because he defends the earth vith his ever present rubber chicken by his side. FYI, Alex Ross actually did put Sven in the Justice League graphic novel JLA: Liberty and Justice.

Comic Munsters vould be right up my dark alley! The misadventures on my favorite Family of Fright in print!

Note From Matt: Publisher Gold Key had a 16 issue run of The Munsters in 1965 and in 1997 TV COMICS! had a 4 issue run.

Todd The Fox is a great friend who happens to also be one of my favorite local musicians! I met Todd via my friend Henrique Couto, and this led to a friendship that has had us working on a number of projects that include concerts like The Baron’s Ball and A. Ghastlee Night at Gilly’s, both at Gilly’s Jazz Club in Dayton as well as in-store shows at Game Swap in Kettering. Todd has also acted in and been interviewed on Terrifying Tales of the Macabre. Todd is a man of a thousand talents as he is also a Civil War re-enactor and hosts open mic nights at a local bar. Even though he is a busy man, he always makes time for his friends and that’s why I say Todd The Fox is one hip cool cat to have as a friend! So let’s take a look at his top 5 picks.

A series of children’s books based on the adventures of Leroy “Encyclopedia” Brown were released beginning in the 1960s. Brown is a boy detective Leroy Brown known for his intelligence and knowledge of many wide-ranging topics. This allows him to open a neighborhood detective agency and solve crimes for “25 cents per day, plus expenses – No case too small.” He is aided by partner and bodyguard Sally Kimball.

The mysteries range from finding lost items, helping other children outsmart bullies and con men, and even helping his father (the police chief of Idaville) solve crimes while at the dinner table. The books usually had ten or more mysteries divided into chapters. The stories always contained enough clues to allow the reader to solve the puzzle the same way Encyclopedia would. A graphic novel series could introduce a whole new level of sleuthing by adding visual cues to the various crimes.

Released for the Nintendo Entertainment System in 1990, “Time Lord” was a side scrolling action game. Set in the year 2999 Earth has been attacked by an alien race called the Drakkons. They have sent their armies to various historical time periods and you, the Time Lord, must travel back and defeat them using weapons of the time; also you must collect five power orbs to return to the future and defeat the Drakkon leader. Since the game features 4 different times in human history it would make a great four-part mini-series comic book.

I always thought it would be interesting to follow the legends of various tribes and nations of Native Americans. If this was turned into a comic series we could use the artwork to tell the story. Powerful, vivid images with no dialogue would lend a certain sense of timelessness and power to the stories while allowing a stylistic interpretation.

How cool would it be to see a comic that follows the early career of the man who creates all the gadgets that allows Comdr. Bond to survive and overcome the most extreme situations. The genius with the code name Quartermaster (or Q for short) heads up Q Division, but we never really knew much about his past. How cool would it be to have a graphic novel to flesh out his history?

An interesting comic could be made from the details, stories, and tales surrounding legendary bluesman Blind Willie Johnson. Blinded by his mother at age 7 during an argument, Johnson went on to pioneer a style of music that influenced the blues, folk, and even rock ‘n roll. Artists such as Son House, Led Zeppelin, The White Stripes, Depeche Mode, and many others have covered his songs.

Although very influential Blind Willie remained poor his entire life. After his home burned down he had no place to go. He eventually died from a fever contracted by sleeping in what was left of his bedroom.

The story could even take a sci-fi turn since Blind Willie’s song “Dark was the Night” was included on the Voyager Golden Records, which were mounted on both of the Voyager I and II spacecraft. Currently they are just outside of our Solar System. That means his music is part of the farthest man-made object ever sent into space.

Brett Prescott aka Felix Wussington is a fellow Waynesville townie who happens to also now live on the street I grew up on! Brett as Felix plays punk rock horror pop and travels around spreading his music. Brett is a shopper at Game Swap and that’s how I met him because he has a love for classic gaming and loves himself some NES game carts…in the box complete. Brett also loves cartoon character Felix The Cat and works more hours at his job than any other human I know! So let’s take a quick look at his Top 5!

#5-1

There were an unlimited amount of things that I got myself into as a child, and if I had to sum it up to 5 things for some reason…… I’d probably have to start with the few things that I did every week. Which was dig holes, play 8 bit Nintendo, watch a lot of media, take things apart, and drink a lot of soda.

So, let’s say someone had asked me how I would have combined these amazingly fun things into one entity. Now to start, obviously, I’d have to figure up a character, that was all these things.

So I know this guy named Rick that in his day to day life, you know, his 9-5 life. Rick is a grave digger, and in his spare time loves to fix old electronics and other types of manly things. All of his friends and family always call him when stuff doesn’t work. And, being such a swell guy, always comes through on fixing anything that’s broken. Lucky enough for everyone else, Rick never asks for anything in return.. because he loves doing it in the first place. People always ask him why he doesn’t just get out in the world and fix things for a living, you know… get out there and be a handyman! Well.. Rick is addicted to digging up the earth, and he found his profession already.

Now Rick himself hates coffee.. But he has an amazing need for different types of cola. You could say he is a Cola Savant. He loves them all, but goes to ridiculous lengths to import home brews and oddities from around the world. If it comes in a bottle or can, has a high sugar and caffeine count.. Rick is in. You might say.. without it.. Rick can get a bit on the “Hyde” side of life.

But! What Rick doesn’t know, is that he also has the power of none other than Gumby Himself. And I know you are all thinking.. oh he is rubbery and claylike. WRONG! Rick will soon find out that he can travel into any sort of multimedia and live out the experience of a new character in the world.

So what worlds will this grave digging, cola-holic, media junkie get into?

EVERYTHING AND EVERYWHERE.

Wow, is your mind in overload with all these ideas and missed opportunities from comic companies to cash in on what the youth of each generation would have loved to read ongoing issues about? I noticed that many of my friends and family picked Garbage Pail Kids and a few picked M.u.s.c.l.e, Metroid and Universal Monsters, making them the winners when it comes to impacting a childhood. I Also noticed that only one of my friends picked a same choice as me when Count Gregula selected The Rock-A-Fire Explosion, and while the same pick, we had different ideas on what the comic would have been about. I want to thank all my friends who took time to send me top 5 lists and would like to hear from you the readers: whose Top 5’s did you like and which ones mirrored your youth? Our next update we will be taking a look at Star Comics Defenders of The Universe! Until then. pick up a comic or two and enjoy whatever adventure awaits inside.

Top 10 Should Have Beens In The Star Comics World

Posted on April 13, 2013 by bloodlinematt

Welcome back to my blog, and thank you for reading my trip down memory lane mixed with pulp culture and things that still fascinate me to this day. Last blog I mentioned that Marvel pulled the plug on Star Comics after only a four year run, and I then mentioned that during that time they missed lots of great stuff that could have made some some great comic adventures. What if they were still around to this day; what great stuff might have come from this? After thinking about this, I decided that this blog entry will be my top 10 properties that should have been turned into a Star Comic. Then Part 2 will show some friends and family’s top 5 picks, so sit back and enjoy!

#10

They are spooky, kooky and an all around fun time for the young and young at heart. This off the wall family have been around for many years and have been in every kind of media from comic strip, TV, movies, games and books. In 1938, Charles Addams created The Addams Family (Gomez, Morticia, Wednesday, Puggsly, Fester, Gramama, Lurch & Thing), and the comic strip was published in the New York Times and was a popular read for the masses. In 1964 ABC aired The Addams Family in which live actors like John Astin, Coralyn Jones, Ted Cassidy and other actors played the parts of the family. The series ran until 1966 and had good solid ratings. Then in 1973, Hanna Barbara made an animated series that ran for a year and featured silly adventures of the family done in the style of Scooby-Doo.

In 1977, a new live action special was made called “Halloween with the New Addams Family,” and while John Astin and most of the original cast returned to play the characters they did many years before, the magic seemed to be gone and the special was only so-so. In 1992 they tried an animated series again that only lasted one year, “The Addams Family: Animated Series.” This series also inspired some action figures from Playmates. The kooky family’s next major break was the 1998 film starring Raul Julia, Angelica Houston, Christina Ricci and Christopher Lloyd. The film was a hit and made The Addams Family a household name once again. The film sparked two sequels, video games, novels, pinball game and lots more merchandise. While many other small Addams Family specials and such were made, the two most impactful were the 1964 ABC show and the 1998 Paramount film, but the 1992 cartoon series also holds a special place in my heart.

Now let’s talk the merchandise for a moment to show the popularity of the Addams Family. Many amazing products were made including a fun kiddie board game from Milton Bradley based on the 1973 Cartoon. In 1965, Ted Cassidy made a song and dance craze called The Lurch. The amazing NES Video Game System had several games including the very hard “Festers Quest”, and even a breakfast cereal was made to go along with the 1998 movie. All this was in addition to toys from Playmates, and many more fun and silly products. I used to eat the cereal and was always happy to get a box because they used to give away free mini flashlights as a prize! I still have my Lurch and Fester flashlights to this day. I also spent many hours along side my brother Bryan and friend Mike Cessna playing Festers Quest and never beating it. As for the Play Mates toys based on the 1992 Cartoon, the only one I ever owned was Lurch and he came with a old pair of sheers. It was a cool toy for the time.

But before I go into why Star Comics should have created a comic based on The Addams Family, I do need to touch up on the fact that a mini series was made by Gold Key Comics based on the 1973 cartoons. The 3 issue run came out in 1974, the year the toon was canceled, and featured silly very kid friendly stories. As always the people at Whitman comics always republished what Gold Key had released the same year. I’m not sure why the comics only lasted three issues, but it might have had to do with the fact the cartoon was canceled within a year, leading me into my pitch of what Star could have done.

If Star Comics were around in 1992, the issues would be based on the cartoon and would follow the family doing all types of silly stuff from going to the beach to having normal yet odd holidays such as Thanksgiving and the 4^th of July. While the main stories would follow Wednesday and Puggsley to gain the kid crowd, it could also follow Lurch and make the silent and hulking butler a main focus. As an example, he goes to camp with the Addams kids, and they get lost in the spooky woods, While other kids are scared, The Addams kids and Lurch are having a blast. The rest of the family would be shown and highlighted as well. Say what you want about the Addams Family, but they are nice spooky kid-friendly characters that would been pleasing in a comic series from Star. I am guessing if this comic would have been made it would have run for at least 3-4 issues before the plug was pulled like so many before it, but I guarantee that those issues would have been a fun time for those who enjoyed the cartoon.

Hey Dude was a popular live action show on Nickelodeon in 1989 that followed workers at a dude ranch called the Bar None owned by a city slicker named Mr. Ernst and his young son Buddy. Workers included Ted, a smooth talking ladies man and Danny, a local Native American. They were joined by blonde cutie Melody and rich horse trainer Brad. All the staff are in their teens and are joined by Lucy who is the overseer of the workers and is in her late 30’s/early 40’s. The show revolved around the Ranch, and the silly wars the boys and the girls would get into over petty things. The show also built up sexual tension between Brad and Ted adding some teen drama to the mix. In my youth this was one of my favorite shows and was one of the best live action shows of the time on Nick. It also sparked my second major celebrity crush as I had the hots for Kelly Brown who played Brad. I also found Christine Taylor really hot! But my first major crush (that I still have to this day) is Danielle Harris, but that’s for another entry.

Hey Dude ran for five seasons and was canceled in 1991. During that time, the Ted character came and went and Jake was introduced who was Mr. Ernst’s nephew from L.A. who was also kind of after Brad. The show was a staple of my youth, and I can’t count the times I watched the same episodes over and over, having a blast doing so. I was so bummed when the show went off the air and was shocked by the little merchandise the series got. To this day besides the DVD season releases by Shout Factory, the only item I can think of was a novel called “Hey Dude: Show Down at the Bar None”.

Besides the stunning Brad, one of my favorite characters from the show was Danny Lightfoot, a Hopi Indian who was not only wise but also a total goofball who loved to fuel the fire of Ted’s numbskull ideas and bets. But during many episodes Danny would always explain that his people were the ones who created a custom or food item, and this sparked my brother to always walk around and make fun of the character by asking if “Danny and his people created that.” It was all in good fun, and just the other day on the phone he even referenced it again! I am sure that one of the reasons I really liked the character is because both my Grandfather and Grandmother are part Native American, as were my great-grandparents and so on before them.

If Star Comics was still active in 1989, they could have reached out to a teen audience and did some issues about the Bar None Ranch and its workers. The comics could have followed Ted and Danny (and maybe Jake depending on when the comic was made) as they got into trouble and adventures in and around the ranch. It could also have built up the flirting of Ted and Brad giving female readers some romance to keep them interested as well. Another fun aspect that they could have played up on in comics would be cowboy ghosts and Native American spirits and beliefs, giving it a little more action and adventure. But with this show airing a year after Star was shut down, we’ll never get to know if this show would have gotten the Star treatment. I will say in closing that it’s about damn time this show saw a DVD release, so a big thanks goes out to Shout Factory. And my guess it would have lasted at least 4-5 issues.

In 1950, EC Comics was making horror comics called “Tales from the Crypt,” “The Vault of Horror” and “The Haunt of Fear.” Each issue was hosted by a grim yet tongue in cheek host such as The Crypt Keeper, The Vault Keeper or The Old Witch. The comics were filled with ghouls, blood and grim stories and were crowd pleasers to young readers. But much like many things over the years, parents hit the roof when they found that their children had been reading comics about murder, death and ghouls. So like any good crazed, tightly-wound parent would do, they protested the company and the comics and had a massive bonfire in which hundreds of copies of the classic comic were burned making original copies highly collectible. EC also sparked the comic code, that tried to ban comics that found unsuitable for children and eventually causing the demise of EC in 1955 after dipping sales and the overly huge backlash of parents, teachers and the comic code.

But the Crypt Keeper came out of the ashes in 1972 when a live action movie starring horror legend Peter Cushing was made, taking many of the comics’ old stories and adapting them to film. The film’s plot had a group of strangers who were on a tour and get lost and end up in a tomb like area where the Crypt Keeper tells them strange and brutal stories with each person as the lead. Of course, this all has a twist ending. In 1973 a sequel was made called The Vault of Horror, and it followed the same formula as the first but this time the guests are trapped in an office building. In 1989, HBO made a hit TV series out of the comic that ran for 7 seasons and had the Crypt Keeper acting almost as a horror host, introducing each episode with a touch of comedy and skits. With the HBO series came films based on the show like Demon Knight, Bordello of Blood and Ritual, making this the most popular version of the comic to come alive. In 1993, a Saturday morning cartoon was made for ABC called Tales from The Crypt Keeper that featured kid-friendly horror stories hosted by an overly silly Crypt Keeper who still had a mean streak. In season two, the Keeper also found himself at war with old rivals the Old Witch and Vault Keeper, and this was the formula for that whole season. After season two ABC pulled the plug on the series, but it was only gone a short time as NBC picked up a third season in 1997 and changed the format and animation. This only lated one season.

Both the live action HBO show, and the cartoon sparked merchandise for kids and collectors. There was a pinball machine, talking dolls, action figures, shirts, Halloween masks and decorations and of course reprints of the old comic. My brother had one of the talking dolls, dressed in a tux who said a few hammy lines from the HBO show, and he of course got the reprint comics. I didn’t get any merch until many years later and own a few of the toys based on the animated series and also own a Halloween mask of the Crypt Keeper. Like all merchandise, these things helped keep the Crypt Keeper in the minds of the masses.

So again in order for Star Comics to make issues based on the 1993 cartoon, they would have had to hang on and been given a better chance by Marvel. But this would have been a no brainer and would have just followed the formula of the cartoon and the original comic series and could have had The Crypt Keeper telling cheesy kid friendly stories that all ended with a lesson learned, never really pushing the envelope to cross the line into making them too gruesome. I know as a kid I would have eaten this up. I grew up watching horror films and horror hosts, and this would have been a series that I would have bought like clock work. The animated version of the Crypt Keeper was green in color, and his attitude seemed to be that he was your friend telling you a spooky story to have fun alongside you. This would had transferred perfectly to comic. It’s a shame that Tales From The Crypt Keeper never did get a comic, and Star would have been the perfect company to do so.

On a side note, back in the days of Waynesville I owned one of those mini black and white portable TV’s, and FOX got the rights to rerun the HBO series. So I would turn off all the lights in my room and shut the door and would watch Star Trek: The Next Generation and then Tales From The Crypt. It was a fun time at night that allowed me to see the show. I am sure many of you readers remember this showing and have fun memories of watching. Oh yeah, and if Star were to have done comics for Tales from the CryptKeeper, I would have guessed a 5 issue run.

In 1932 Robert E. Howard created Conan The Barbarian and wrote his adventures for Weird Tales Magazine, and the character became a hit with the fantasy world. In 1950 his stories started to be turned into paperback novels and were taken not only from Howard’s writings but also other authors who wrote of his journeys. In 1970 Marvel Comics began the comic series “Conan The Barbarian” that spawned spin offs like Red Sonja, Kull and King Conan. The main series ran for 275 issues and stopped being made in 1993. For many years no comics came out based on the raven haired brute, then in 2003 Dark Horse Comics picked up the licenses and Conan is still coming out as of 2013. This is only the literature part of Conan’s vast history, and this is only a quick sampling. This part could have gone on and on!

Conan was such a hit that for years many other merchandise came out including video games, t-shirts, board game, toys and statues, all these making fans of Conan very happy. Some of the most popular ones are the Remco 5 ½” action figures that were just generic Masters of the Universe cash-in’s that came out in 1984. To this day, they fetch lots of money on Ebay and toy conventions. Of course the video games that have been made for systems such as Commodore 64, PC, NES, PS2, PS3 and Xbox 360. While none of the games did well critically, I found the PS3 game to be very fun and the NES game, while crappy, is still a fun goofy play. It’s a shame that the PS3/Xbox 360 game did not sell well because this caused THQ not to give it a sequel.

Now for Conan in film and TV, a fun journey for all! In 1982, a film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger was released. The film was a blood bath that had Conan going after Tulsa Doom, the leader of Set worshipers who was responsible for his parents’ death and him being sold into slavery. The film follows Conan as he grows up and gets revenge. The film is amazing and is in my top 10 films for sure. In 1984, a sequel was made called Conan the Destroyer, and sadly this film took a PG-13 route and took out all the over the top blood shed of the original and tried to make it more kid-friendly and has Conan trying to protect a young princess from a wizard. While not called by name, Schwarzenegger once again played a Conan-like character in the 1985 film Red Sonja. In 1992 Conan The Adventurer,the animated adventures aired, early mornings and followed Conan and his friends as they try and stop the evil Wrath-Amon who was the priest of Set who needs the star metal to be free once more. It lasted 65 episodes and also spawned a second animated series that flopped called Conan and the Young Warriors that only lasted 13 episodes. Then with the success of Hercules and the Legendary Journeys TV producers thought why not try a show that’s hammy and base it around Conan, and thats what happened in 1997 with a show simply called Conan. German bodybuilder Ralf Moller played the title role, and the show followed him and his friends’ adventures through 22 episodes. Finally in 2011, the Conan movie franchise got rebooted with Jason Momoa as the Barbarian. Although some were not as good as others, Conan has had a good run in film and TV. The TV shows and the 2011 film were not well received, but still gave fans something new for the iconic character. In my younger days, I spent many hours watching the 1992 cartoon and watched the original 1982 more then any kid my age should have.

The 1992 cartoon is our focus and would be the best bet for Star to base a comic series around. But before we get into that, let’s talk the terrible toy line that went alongside the cartoon. These things were large clunky pieces of plastic with terrible sculpts and bad paint jobs! I felt that way now and I felt that way then. I was and will always be a Conan fan and when the cartoon and toys came out, I was super hyped to see both. The cartoon lived up to my expectations and was a fun adventure cartoon, while the toys just sucked. I only bought one, the Skeleton warrior Skulkur, and man what a disappointment. From the moment I took it out of the package, I knew I was in trouble as the figure was stiff and had this terrible spin around action. No one else I knew in school had one of these figures making this one a school yard dud. To this day I do not have any of these figures laying around Independent B Movie studios (the place all my old toys are) nor will I ever get one of these abominations again. Oh yeah and the main Conan figure looks like a generic toy you would find on the shelves of Odd Lots/Big Lots. In fact, I remember when these toys did flood those shelves.

Much like Tales From The Crypt Keeper, this would be a no brainer run of comics. The fact that Marvel was all ready putting out comics based on the Barbarian would have made this one an easy sale. The comic would have followed the same formula as the cartoon and would have Conan and his friends fighting bad guys like Skulkur and Wrath-Amon and trying to find hidden treasures, protect the star metal and such. Plus they could have used Needle, his Phoenixx sidekick more and made him just like Snarf in Thundercats or even Orko in Masters of the Universe. Many more of the side characters like African Warrior Zula and Jezmine the female circus performer could also be showcased, and the characters could be fleshed out and given time to really shine . While the main Marvel book was geared towards teens and adults, this series could have captured the younger crowed. The issues could also have an underlying meaning like don’t steal or be nice to others and do it so slyly that the readers wouldn’t pick up on the fact they have just been taught a lesson in manners. I could see this series running 10 issues for Star before they pulled the plug on the series. I think this one would have had a little life even after the cartoon was canceled.

#6 In 1980 a pizza chain was born that was the rival to McDonalds in getting kids hyped up to go out to eat. That place was Showbiz Pizza Palace. The restaurant had many gimmicks that were used to bring kids in such as arcade machines, ticket prizes, toys, and most famous was the animatronic band The Rock-A-Fire Explosion who would bring young and old there to see them perform. Showbiz became so big that they started to buy other pizza chains that were going under including Chuck E. Cheese. But the fun times came to an end in 1990, as Showbiz had some major changes in its business including a rebranding campaign. This led to The Rock-A-Fire Explosion getting the boot and Chuck E. Cheese becoming the star of the show. While Showbiz and The Rock-A-Fire are gone they are not forgotten. I have many fond memories of Showbiz and going to birthday parties there and watching The Rock-A-Fire show and only somewhat liking the pizza. I have never been a pizza fan, and I remember thinking that the pizza was mediocre at best. My younger cousin Steve, who I now work on many movies and TV shows with, was scared to death of the band and I think Fatz Geronimo was the one that terrified him the most.

The Rock-A-Fire Explosion had many members that included Billy-Bob, a hillbilly bear with a great heart and who played bass guitar for the group. He is the most popular of the members and was the pizza chains mascot. Fatz Geronimo was a gorilla who sang and played piano for the group; at one time he was to be the main man of the group. Beach Bear plays guitar and sings and is a surfing polar bear. Looney Bird lives in an oil can and offers vocals. Mitzi Mozzarella is a teenage mouse wearing a cheerleader outfit and sings. Dook LaRue is a dog who wants to go to space and plays drums. Lastly while not part of the band but acting as a warm up act was Rolfe deWolfe & Earl, a stand up comic wolf and his puppet. The band was huge and drew many people to the restaurant. While the stage show was animatronic, at times a man in a costume would walk around as Billy Bob and greet the guests in the arcade area. To this day people who grew up in the 80’s and have been to Showbiz Pizza have a special place in their hearts for The Rock-A-Fire.

The company made lots of merchandise based on the band in order to make that extra dollar off the guests that included glasses, mugs, vinyl records, dolls, small toys, posters and so much more. In 2008 a documentary about the band was also made and showed just how in love people still are with the band and the idea of Showbiz Pizza. All the classic vintage items are huge collectors’ items and go for high prices on Ebay and conventions. In 2011, I was lucky enough to find a classic mini Fatz figure for only a $1.00!

If Star Comics would have jumped on this popular kids attraction, they could have had a fun and silly comic on their hands and could have got major push by selling the comic at the pizza place. Showbiz could have used the comic as a tool to try and draw more guests in. The concept of the comic could have followed that band as they toured the world and got into many off the wall adventures, I mean could you imagine Billy Bob in Japan or Russia? Chuck E. Cheese also would be used and could have been written in as the bands manager giving that hat wearing rodent a push as well. Plus with all the band members all with different personalities, they could have had many funny moments just with the in-band fighting. But for some reason Star Comics just must not have seen how easy this comic would have been to make and how kids at the time would have eaten it up. Given Stars track record I would guess that this would have lasted 3 to 4 issues if it was made and would not have had a clear cut last issue. Here is to someone who I hope some day will make the comic based on these amazing characters that meant so much to so many kids of the time.

In 1983, Tonka Toys brought out a line of changing robot toys called The GoBots. The toys were simple and would change from robot to some sort a vehicle and were geared towards younger kids. At first, the toys sold really well and seemed to be building up steam even without the backing of a cartoon or comic to push it. But this ride at the top of changing robots came to a quick end when in 1984 Hasbro released The Transformers toy line in the United States. Fans flipped for Transformers and loved characters like Optimus Prime, Jazz and Bumblebee as well as the superior designs and tranforming abilities of the new figures. Gobots tried to fight back and in 1984; an animated TV mini series made by Hanna Barbera was released to compete with the Transformer cartoon called Challenge of the GoBots. While the cartoon did not do as well as its competitor, it did get full seasons starting in 1985 and ran for 65 episodes. In 1986 a theatrical film was made called GoBots: Battle of the Rock Lords and released 3 months before Transformers The Movie. The GoBots film was a flop and performed poorly at the box office and with critics. The toy line came to an end in 1987, ending the legacy for a short amount of time, until Hasbro bought the rights from Tonka and turned them into toys for kids under 5.

Many people seemed to think that the GoBots toy line was the K-Mart version of the Transformers, and most think that they just followed the trend, but this is not the case. While the toys were very cheaply done, they were still out a whole year before Transformers. The main bad downside to the toys was the fact that the joints would become super loose and your figure would lose an arm here and there. I cannot count how many Cy-Kill toys I had that one of the arms would fall off. One of the other terrible aspects of the toys was the fact that most of their transforms were terrible and would be just a bend here or there, making them seem like bulky silly robots. Growing up I had many GoBots and used them when I played with Star Wars as other robots that would join in on battles or be at Jabba’s Palace. I think my two favorites in the toy line are the most popular characters, Cy-Kill and Leader One. While they were nothing special, I found them to be pretty bad ass toys at a cheap price. I still find loose GoBots at Mavericks Cards and Comics and get a chuckle at seeing them.

Besides the toys, cartoons and movie, many other merchandise was made based on the series that included a game for the Commodore 64, lunch boxes, Halloween costumes, magazines, coloring books, stickers and many more items. It’s odd that this property never did get a comic run from either Marvel or DC. It’s also odd much like the back lash of the toys many of the other items made based on the characters have negative vibes around them. The Commodore 64 game is always ripped apart and is considered a turkey of a game.

This is yet another easy one to make into a Star Comic and would have fit in with the rest of the properties that they all ready put out. Marvel Comics was already making Transformer comics for the older teen reader, and GoBots would have been a perfect way to get younger readers drawn into Marvel and to maybe push them towards books that were only a few years away. The plot of the comic would be the same as the cartoon and would have had Leader One and the good guys battling Cy-Kill and the evil robots. It could be a pretty cookie cutter format and could have relied on mindless robot battles with normal recycled plots. I know it’s sounding like I am saying that Star should have made a half ass comic series, but that’s not what I am really meaning at all. All I am saying is that this could have been a fun cheesy comic that was geared towards young readers. I am sure I would have eaten it up even with tame and generic story lines, as would many other kids of that time. I think this would have lasted for about 12 issues if Star was to put it out and would have gotten a clear cut last issue. It’s a sad world we live in when Leader One never made it to a comic book in his prime. What makes it worse is the ad below for the cartoon that is drawn in your typical Star art style, making me wonder if something was in the works and fell through when the film bombed and the toy line was on a decline making Star cancel the deal. I guess we will never really know.

When you were a kid in the 1980’s, lots of things came out that were related to horror and monsters. In 1987 Mattel released a toy line that claimed to be Too Gross! Mad Scientist allowed you to be your own Dr. Frankenstein or even a Egor, if you owned a bendable Mad Scientist figure, and would allow you to create, dissect and melt your own creations. The line of toys also had dress up kits to become a crazy doctor yourself. In 1988 as well a very short lived animated cartoon was made that lasted two episodes called “Mad Scientist: Experiment of Error” and was only released on VHS. Weirdly as fast as it came, the Mad Scientist toy line disappeared in less than two years, making it one of those toy lines that made you wonder what just happened. Many blame the NES for the death of this toy line that seemed to be gaining more attention than action figures. Some also blamed the price of the playsets claiming that they were too expensive for parents to get for their kids. All I can say is that it was a fun toy line that had some amazing animated/ live action commercials.

My first introduction to this toy line was of course the commercials that aired during Saturday Morning Cartoons. While they got my attention, I was not so hip to the whole chemistry set aspect of the toy line making me at first blow the whole line off as just another silly creepy toy. But then one day at school someone had a few of the figures on the playground. They had Dissect an Alien where you removed the guts of a monster alien with slime in his belly and a bendable Mad Scientist figure. I played with them both and really found the toys neat and offered to trade to get the Scientist figure. To my shock, he did not want to trade but instead sold the figure to me for a dollar! This made my day and for weeks at home I would do odd little science experiments alongside my new figure. Next at KB Toys, a now dead toy store that was in the Dayton Mall, I found gummi bear style molds of creatures from the lab of the Mad Scientist and bought those and made plaster molds from them and spent time painting them to give to my Mom. Sadly I never owned any of the major play sets, but what little I did have from the toy line I enjoyed a lot.

I know what you’re all thinking why, did he pick a toy line that for all accounts failed, had a cartoon that never even made it to TV, as his # 4. Let me tell you why. I think that one of the big reasons this toy line failed is the lack of real push from Mattel. I think they lost interest in it fast and never fully saw the potential in its appeal. If Star Comics would have made this into a comic, I think that it would have kept the line a little fresh in kids’ eyes and might have made it last a little longer. The comic could have followed The Mad Scientist and let’s say a every day normal boy who helps him in all his wacky experiments that of course go wrong! You could have issues where monsters escape and they must round them up, a potion that makes The Mad Scientist normal and his young friend must find a way to return him to his crazy self and many more plots like that. Not to mention think of all the monsters you could add. As far as bad guys, you could have the town mayor be the one who wants to lock up the Mad Scientist and throw away the key. But sadly Star Comics was all ready on the verge of closing up, and this series never did make it to the light or I should say was never even considered. If this was a Star Comic though, I could almost guarantee that much like its shelf life on toy shelves, its comic stand life would also be short. I see it only lasting for about 4 issues. It’s a shame this never happened I would have loved to read the adventures of a lunatic Mad Scientist!

I have always been a fan of Horror Hosts, being young and watching scary films alongside them always seemed to make the film less scary and you felt protected by the hosts’ silly antics. Saturdays were always a fun day for me. I would spend the mornings watching cartoons and eating cereal. Every other week we would go shopping at Big Bear & Hearts, and then we would get home in time to watch Commander USA’s Groovie Movies on the USA Network! After the Groovie Movie was over, I would go to my room and play with toys or go out side and play ball tag (where we would play tag with a soccer ball that we would throw at others in the game) or even possibly record my own radio show via a tape deck and then at night it was time for USA’s Saturday Nightmares! Commander USA was a retired super hero that rented space under a shopping mall in New Jersey and would host a movie or two and would have some sort of crazy thing going on in his Video Vault. He was joined by his best friend and sidekick Lefty who was really just Commander’s right hand with a cigar ash smiley face drawn on. The show started in 1985 and ran until 1989, switching from Saturday to Sundays and was a staple of my youth. The thing about Commander USA, who was played by a great stage actor Jim Hendricks, was that during the movie you felt as if he really was watching the film along side you. That’s something a really good host can do, is make you think he or she is watching whatever turkey they are showing this week. It’s odd looking back over my life and seeing just how many horror hosts motivated me to be the creative person I am today, hosts like the late great Dr. Creep, my “Dad” A. Ghastlee Ghoul, Joe Bob Briggs, Grandpa Munster, Elvira Mistress of the Dark, Son of Ghoul, Sammy Terry and many more. So to all of you hosts out there, thank you for doing what you do and inspiring people like me with your antics.

Commander USA had very little merchandise, but what he did have was pretty cool as you could join his fan club that came complete with a membership card. Also an official fanzine was made called ” Commander USA’s World of Horror”. Over the years his show has shown up on sites that offer his show on DVD-R’s and are worth getting if you want a nice flashback to a great era of the USA Network. Also Jim Hendricks is talked to in an amazing documentary about horror hosts called American Scary. If you like horror hosts, this is a must-see.

A comic book based on the adventures of Commander USA still needs to happen! Star Comics could have drawn in the horror kid crowd like myself by making issues about the Commander’s super hero ways in and out of the Video Vault! This comic series could have been played two ways, and both would have been good, One could have followed him as he is retired and is forced back into action to save the day, like to find a purse snatcher that has been running wild in the mall above the Video Vault, or say stop an ice cream monster that has been made by a mad doctor who was mad when a store ran out of his wanted pair of gym shoes. The second route they could have taken was to follow the Commander in his prime and to show him doing amazing feats like fighting super villains or going up against famous monsters like Dracula or Frankenstein’s Monster. This comic would have made me so happy and would be a series that I would have bought every issue back then and even to this day. But if I know Star Comics like I think I do, I would say that if they did take a chance and make this comic, it would run 3-4 issues before they got cold feet and ended it. That’s one thing I will say, more horror hosts need comic books based around them. At this time the only ones I can think of that have their own is Indiana’s icon Sammy Terry, Elvira and one about Wolfman Mac and his Chiller Theater . I think that a Baron Von Porkchop Comic will be coming your way soon, and I hope that these four books will trigger more comics about Hosts. With that to quote Commander, “Keep your nose in the wind… and your tail to yourself…”

In 1986 a plush doll that was aimed toward boys was released by American Greetings. This doll was named My Pet Monster and was a blue furred, devil horned, sharp teeth, big nosed creature who was bound by bright orange handcuffs, and if those handcuffs came off he was said to come alive. The toy was one of very few plush dolls that was geared toward boys and to many people’s, surprise it was a huge success! The doll was so popular that many more were made in the line that included such beasts as Gwonk, Rark and Wogster. My Pet Monster warmed his way into hearts up into the early 90’s before the line went silent. In 2001 he came back for a second run but went through some changes. While most of him looked the same, his nose and snarl looking teeth were way more tame, and this change was to please kids who found the original too scary. The rebirth was short lived but the doll now is a collectors item that kids of the 80’s will search for it to relive their youth. I never owned one of the original dolls but I do remember that a classmate had one, and he was a hit for the day on the playground when he came to school with his owner. I remember many of us going down the slide with him and spinning on the merry go round was a blast with our friend, My Pet Monster. The one I own is the 2001 rerelease that I found at a thrift store some years back. It was in perfect shape and now even as I write this, he sits in an old vintage chair in my apartment looking at the TV.

My Pet Monster was so popular that is spawned many other merchandise and came to life in films and cartoons. My Pet Monster was made into kids books, coloring books, puzzles and a lunch box. In 1986 My Pet Monster also was made into a live action direct to video film, and had a young boy who when he got hungry would turn into the monster and get into all kinds of silly messes. The film was only moderately successful and has never made it to DVD or Blu-Ray. In 1987 ABC picked up a cartoon based on the toy line that followed a young boy named Max who was the keeper and best friend to the My Pet Monster who was more silly than scary. The cartoon ran for one season and had 16 episodes that can be found on DVD.

If this were turned into a Star Comic, I would have skipped the film and cartoon and focused on the toy line itself. The charm of the My Pet Monster was that when the orange shackles came off, he was free to act wild and crazy making the comic being able to go above and beyond with him going crazy in all types of areas. Like say he wanders to a school where a young man is picked on and watches as bullies keep making fun and shoving the kid around. So My Pet Monster sees enough and talks the kid into un-shackling him and letting him show the bullies that it’s wrong to pick on others by pulling pranks and scaring them half to death. Each issue could be a new kid with new issues and each time My Pet Monster is the problem solver, and while he is doing good things, he could still have a mean streak. This would have made many kids happy to see My Pet Monster in comic forum, and I am sure would have made Star a lot of money. I give this an 11 issue run with Star and I think it would have gotten a real final issue. It’s odd that this was never looked at to become a comic, and I believe that not only did Star/Marvel drop the ball on this, I think DC and Archie did as well.

Now before you get all huffy and say that The Incredible Hulk is already a long running series with Marvel Comics, you should take another look as I am saying that one should have been made based on the 1978 live action TV show. So with that let’s look at the Hulk’s history

The Incredible Hulk/Bruce Banner were created by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee in 1962. Issue # 1 that shows how scientist Bruce Banner was hit with gamma rays trying to save a young hot shot Rick Jones. When the moon was full Banner would turn into a super strong brute called the Hulk and became wanted by General Thunderbolt Ross and the US army. Originally the Hulk was grey skinned, and as the series matured a few issues they changed him to green and instead of the moon triggering his transformation, it happened when he was angry . The comic series was and is Marvel’s top comic based on a monster type character out lasting the likes of Werewolf by Night, Tomb of Dracula, Man-Thing, Godzilla and Monster of Frankenstein. The Hulk has many great enemies that include the Leader, the Abomination, the Glob, Wendigo, the U-Foes, Absorbing Man, Dr. Samson and many more. In fact as I am all sure you know, Wolverine’s first appearance was in a Hulk issue (#181). The character became so popular that he even got his own comic Magazine called The Rampaging Hulk in 1977. The comic is still going strong to this day and doen’t seem to be slowing down anytime soon. I could spend pages and pages talking about this because the Hulk is my all time favorite super hero and the series is just so rich with plots and characters. But I am here to get to the point of why Star should have made comics based on the TV show so let’s move on shall we.

The Hulk was a fan favorite of kids who read comic books. So they thought, hey why not make some cartoons based on the giant green monster and they did just that in 1966 as part of The Marvel Super Hero’s show that lasted 13 episodes. The 1966 series animation was based on the comic panels and was very crudely done, but still was a solid toon. Then in 1982, they gave it another go around this time the cartoon was just simple called The Incredible Hulk and was played along side Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. The animation was better, and the plot’s were silly fun adventures but this one only lasted one season and 13 episodes as well. Many years would pass before they gave him another chance at the animation world, and 1996 marked his return to TV in animated form. This one was called The Incredible Hulk as well and lasted two seasons and 21 episodes making it the longest running cartoon and had Lou Ferrigno come back to voice the Hulk. While this one was more up to date, I think it lacked the charm of the 1982 show which is my favorite. Sadly, none of the cartoons are out in the USA on legit DVD’s, and the only way you can see them is on Netflix, PAL Region 2 DVD’s or on Bootleg DVD-R’s. But I hope in 2012 they will be released for US fans.

The Hulk has also had many action figures, and while some are based on his film appearances, other great old school ones have been made based on the comic and loosely on the live action show. My favorite one has to be the Mego Hulk. While he is way off scale compared to the rest of the Mego collection, he still has a simple charm to him. Plus fans of Wizard Magazine’s Toy Fair Issues will always remember him in their stop motion comics as a lunk head. Both small and large versions of the Mego dolls are worth tracking down and owning if you are a fan as well. I also really liked Mego’s Pocket Hero version of the Hulk because he was in scale with Star Wars and G.I. Joes. Lastly I have always had a soft spot for Toy Biz’s first Hulk toy that actions such as him bending a bar and smashing a soft rock. These four are just a drop in the hat of all the badass Hulk toys out there. One thing that always let me down is the fact Mattel never produced their Hulk figure for the Secret Wars line. Many rumors say that he and The Abomination would have made it to series 3, and it’s a shame the line folded before then.

The Incredible Hulk has also made his way into the video game world like in 1984 when “Questprode:Hulk” that was released for Commodore 64 and Atari Computers. It was a text adveture game and marked the first video game to be based on the character. In 1994, a side scrolling action game was made for the Sega Genesis and the Super Nintendo called “The Incredible Hulk.” While the game is by no means a masterpiece, it still is a fun button masher, and let’s you face some of your biggest foes like Abomination, Rhino and The Leader. In 1997 “The Incredible Hulk: The Pantheon Saga” came out for the Sony Playstation and the Sega Saturn and was a terrible action game plagued by bad controls. Next up was “Hulk” a 2003 game based on the movie by Ang Lee and was made for Sony Playstation 2, Xbox, PC and Nintendo GameCube. Then in 2005, a pretty badass game came out called “The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction” and was an open world mission based game that allowed you to go as rampaging as you wanted. It came out for Playstation 2, GameCube and Xbox. Last on this list for now is a 2008 game made by Sega and based on the film starring Edward Norton called “The Incredible Hulk.” It takes the same idea as Ultimate Destruction and just ties it into the move. On a side note an Atari 2600 game based on the Hulk was in the works but was never finished by Parker Brothers due in part to the video game crash of 83. The story goes that the game was almost done and this gives hope a ROM of it will be found soon because the cover box has been discovered. While none of the games above are groundbreaking, I did find each and every one of them a fun play through even if some of them made me want to scream.

Many more great merchandise items have been made that include coloring books, lunch boxes, stickers, Halloween masks and costumes, banks, Halloween pales, board games, Colorforms, candy, toy boxes, shirts, shoes, hats and so much more. One of my favorite things as a kid was my brother’s and my Hulk toy box that was a purple base and the lid was a giant Incredible Hulk Head! We use to even take it outside and play with it putting it over our heads and stumbling around like little fools. Sometimes we would fill it with water and drop the figures inside it and act if it was a deep dark abyss. I miss that damn thing! Oh and my mom still has pages of an old Hulk coloring book I colored for her when I was like 4-5, showing that I have always loved The Hulk.

We still have one more thing to cover about The Incredible Hulk and his impact on our culture and his popularity, and that’s Hulk at the box office. Hulk films have been made before the ones that made it to theaters but those will be separate from this due to the fact they tie into the TV show that I think should have been continued in Star Comics. The first film in theaters was Universal & Ang Lee’s 2003 film called HUL. This film had Eric Bana playing Bruce Banner who as a child was given Gamma radiation by his father who worked for the government, who also happened to be The Absorbing Man. The film’s Hulk was CGI and looked like a dated video game graphic. This film was more drama then action and while it made money at the box office, it left a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. In 2008 Universal tried to reboot the film and made THE INCREDIBLE HULK. This time amazing actor Edward Norton played Bruce Banner, and while the Hulk was CGI, they got Lou Ferrigno to voice him. The film has Bruce on the run from the government and trying to learn to control The Hulk. Oh yeah, throw in The Abomination for fun, and you have this fun smash’em up movie. Again this one did well in the theaters but not well enough for them to do a sequel.The Hulk was also in 2012’s Avengers the movie and steals the show as he smashes his way throughout the film. While he only had two solo theater movies, many fan-made films have been made as well.

In 1977, a movie pilot was aired on CBS based on the Marvel Comic called The Incredible Hulk and followed David Banner (they thought Bruce didn’t sound manly enough) who during a test overdosed his body on Gama Radiation. When he becomes angry he grows into being a muscle bound green skinned monster know as The Hulk. David goes to his friend and fellow doctor Elaina, and together they try and find a cure, but when a snooping reporter named Jack McGee gets involved, an accident leaves Elaina dead. David is thought to be dead as well, and The Hulk is blamed. This was such a hit another made for TV movie was made, and in 1978 it became a full series that followed the same formula: David would go town to town changing his name to find work or to get one step closer to a cure, and Jack McGee would be on his heels looking for the big news story of The Hulk. Bad things would happen, and The Hulk would come out and save the day. Then David would be forced to leave in order to hide his secret. This show ran for 5 seasons and a total of 82 episodes. After the show was cancelled, made for TV movies were still being made. The show was one of my favorites, and I found myself glued to the TV whenever it was on. I remember coming home from school and skipping the after school Disney Shows (Duck Tales, Gummi Bears, ect.) and trying to tune in a fuzz station on the kitchen TV that would show reruns of The Incredible Hulk. To this day, the show remains my all time favorite! Lucky enough Universal, who owns the show, has released all seasons on DVD! I think the show was amazingly acted with Bill Bixby playing David Banner being one of the best portrayals ever in TV and film, and bodybuilder Lou Ferrigno was perfect painted green and playing The Hulk. Growing up Ferrigno was one of my heroes because of this show.

A total of 5 made for TV films were made. The first was the pilot that kicked off the series, and the second film “Return of the Incredible Hulk” quickly followed and had David/The Hulk having to help a young woman who is crippled and getting bad medicine from the family doctor and her step-mother. The first film to follow the end of the series was the 1988 film, “The Incredible Hulk Returns” and has Hulk teaming up with Thor to stop organized crime. Then in 1989 came “The Trial of the Incredible Hulk” in which David Banner is framed for a crime and becoming The Hulk, he and Daredevil must clear his name and stop The Kingpin. Then in 1990 came the final film “The Death of The Incredible Hulk,” and it involves spies and the Hulk falling to his death in the end. Another film was planned, but sadly Bill Bixby lost his battle to cancer in 1993. When these movies were coming on, I know I drove my Mother and Father crazy. That’s all I would talk about and when they would finally air the whole family would gather in the living room with a big bowl of popcorn and we would all watch the film. Times like that will always be an amazing memory of my youth and how great my family was. I remember also being so sad when in the final film The Hulk died. While the way he died was pretty lame, it was sad because I knew that this was the end.

Now let’s get down to it. This live action show was made for comic books and should have continued in comic books. Star Comics would have been the perfect home for it. The issues could have followed the style of the show and could have had David Banner going from town to town finding people in need and turning into The Hulk to save the day only to have to restart over again in the next issue. They could have picked kid-friendly issues and topics and tackled the “Just Say No To Drugs” attitude that was big at the time. The Hulk of the show was perfect for kid’s comics because he was never smacking animals or flying off the handle, he seemed to have a good childlike nature that showed him who was bad and who was good. Plus they could have had some of the better artists of Star work on the book and have the comic versions look just like the actors, making this truly fit in the same storyline of the TV Show. Plus they could have turned the planned yet never made film into a comic and gave us the fans young and old the real closer we needed for the series. While this doesn’t stand a chance I wish Marvel would even consider doing this now! This was a no brainer for Star Comics to do, but they really missed the boat on this one, due to the fact they owned the characters! I would say that if made this would have had a pretty long run for them something like 10-12 issues.

So there you have it from Commander USA to The Incredible Hulk, you see what comics I would have been lining up for if Star/Marvel would have made. In the next blog I’ll let some family and friends give you their top 5 choices! See you all next update.

CrystarMeth: The Saga Unfolds

Posted on February 24, 2013 by bloodlinematt

Welcome back friends and readers. Today’s update is going to be my look at the 11 issue Marvel run of The Saga of Crystar, but first I will tell you a little about how I got to know what Crystar was. One of the stores that used to be a great place to get toys and halloween costumes when I was a kid was Woolworths, an odd five and dime store that carried off the wall merchandise for very cheap prices. The store in the Dayton market was located in Kettering in a strip mall called Van Buren Shopping Center along side grocery store Krogers, video arcade Krazy Kats, Noble Romans Pizza, The Post Office, Fashion Bug, Ron’s Pizza and a handful of more shops. From a very early age (kindergarden age) the one thing I could remember was going to Woolworths with my mom and brother, for I am sure I mentioned it before I lived in Kettering up until first grade when we moved to Waynesville. These trips to the store would always lead to me getting a toy, candy or a pack of trading cards. The store, as I remember it, was very poorly lit with stained titles not only on the ceiling but also the floor, and the merchandise always seemed to be a mess on the shelves. The candy isle was filled not only with name brand sweets but some pretty generic ones too. While the store was a dirty mess and the merchandise cheap, this was still a very cool place to get your hands on some great none-mainstream toys. The toy department at this store always seemed to be filled with Remco toys based on AWA Wresting and generic Masters of the Universe knockoffs as well as Spider-Man parachute figures, but this is also where I would first see Crystar and his made-of-glass warriors. But before I get into that, I need to address Halloween Costumes at Woolworths. I should also state that sadly Woolworths closed down, Krogers moved out of the shopping center and many businesses closed down for good like Krazy Kats and Ron’s Pizza. What was once a mighty shopping center became a mostly empty eyesore that some years ago got torn down and homes were built in its spot. While one half of the center is still around, the once powerful Van Buren and its many stores are now just memories.

Halloween has always been my favorite holidays, and Fall is my favorite season. Back in my very younger days, Ben Cooper Inc. was the company that made almost every costume that you and your friends wore for Halloween. Ben Cooper originals were made up of a cheap plastic face mask and a vinyl body suit that was based around horror characters like Dracula, Wolf Man and Frankenstein’s Monster or cartoon/comic characters like Yogi Bear, He-Man, Casper, Batman and Incredible Hulk. Sometimes you would also be able to get movie characters like Alien, Darthvader or Jaws. Ben Cooper Inc. were the juggernauts of Halloween costumes ruling the market from the 1950’s all the way to the 1980’s, but all things must come to an end as in 1988 they filed for bankruptcy for the first time as many of the companies like DC & Marvel took their characters elsewhere. Ben Cooper Inc. bounced back in 1989 but sadly lost the battle to other companies when in 1992 they closed the doors for good. Ben Cooper masks are now very collectible and many people my age and older have good and some bad memories about wearing these costumes. One thing’s for sure Halloween and trick or treat lost a major player when the company went belly up. Woolworths always had many of the Ben Cooper costumes for very cheap and would have the boxed ones as well as ones that hung on the shelves, always making it a fun time looking through all of them and choosing what character you were going to be.

For Halloween one year my mom bought my brother and I costumes based on the film Krull. My brother got to be the lava demon The Beast, while I got to be the cyclops Rell, and man we both thought we were cool in these cheap costumes. For Kindergarden I went to Beavertown Elementary, and we had a thing called a Halloween Parade where we all would walk through the higher grades and show off our costumes to kids who were older. Well there I was walking from classroom to classroom in my Rell outfit when all of a sudden some smart ass kid says “Hey Cyclops only have one eye, why do you have three?” and then he and his closest classmate had a chuckle. I felt terrible and being so young I just couldn’t think of a comeback and I spent the rest of the parade without the mask on. That one student had ruined it for me. Looking back on it now, it was silly for me to be that heartbroken over one dipshit kid’s remarks but for some reason it bothered me, enough so that I remember it to this day. Damn you, Ben Cooper Inc,. for adding three eyes to the mask!

Remco was a toy company that was founded in the 1940’s and became a major player in the 50’s with such toys as Big Max, Coney Island Penny Machine and Movieland Drive-In Theater play set. By the 1960’s, they were making toys based on Batman, The Beatles, The Munsters , Star Trek and Lost in Space. The 70’s brought toys of The Monkees, Partridge Family, Spider-Man, Micky Mouse and Ronald McDonald, not to mention a makeup kit based around rock band Kiss. But the 80’s is when they really boomed with action figures based around The Universal Monsters like Creature From the Black Lagoon, Phantom of the Opera, Dracula, The Mummy, Frankenstein’s Monster and The Wolf Man all in scale with Kenner’s Star Wars toys, not to mention they also got a lab playset. They also made action figures based around Conan The Barbarian, AWA Wrestlers like Ric Flair and the Road Warriors, DC’s Comic characters Warlord and Sgt. Rock, Archie Comic superheros The Mighty Crusaders and even The Karate Kid got a toy line that covered parts 1 and 2 and of course Marvel Comics own Crystar. In my youth I had some Remco toys as I had many of the AWA Wrestlers, some of the Karate Kid figures and a small amount of the Mighty Crusaders. The 90’s were less kind to Remco as action figures based on the cartoon Swat Kats was one of the only semi major hits for them. Many people don’t know that Remco was broke in 1971 and became a sub company for Azrak Hamway International in 1974 who later sold Remco to Jakks Pacific in 1997. While Remco for the most part is a company of the past, its legacy of cheap made toys still lives on for collectors, and yes I collect them.

On the piled up toy shelf of Woolworths, Kettering many moons ago I first laid my eyes on the Crystar toy line and was taken aback by these fantasy figures. I owned lots of 3 3/4″ Star Wars, G.I. Joes and a few Battle Star Galactica and Indiana Jones figures and thought they would make great additions to the intergalactic battle my figures were fighting in my bedroom, in between playing with He-Man and LJN WWF Wrestlers. But for some odd reason, I went and found some other generic figure and it was my brother Bryan who ended up getting one when he picked up the evil wizard Zardeth, a character with a black hood on and only one eye. My brother kept the figure for a short amount of time and then passed it down to me. By this time he had no weapons and his cloak was gone. Not knowing much about the character, he just became a henchman of The Emperor and just another knucklehead for Luke Skywalker to kick around. Besides the Marvel Comic series, the toy line had no other way to reach us kids making these toys almost a mystery. Most action figures around that time had solid source material like a cartoon, movie, TV show to push the toy or at least an A-List comic book. So it was a strange move for Marvel to go the route of a comic series a year after the toys hit and pick a cheap company like Remco to make the figures of what they were hoping would be a major player in the kids media market. Growing up I only knew of one other group of kids having Crystar figures and that was the Vietnamese neighbors we had next door, who by the way had one bitching cool toy collection. Years later I would get a Moltar figure (the lava king) and he also just acted as a punching bag for Luke. So while I knew Crystar as a toy line, I didn’t pick up it was a comic series until years later. Now with many years passed I do own some Crystar figures and have grown to love them as well as Remco as a company. So going into this comic series is a first time read for me and I am really looking forward to learning the characters’ history.

In 1982, a line of fantasy action figures hit the market by toy company Remco with very little fanfare and with no real push, making the seven figure, six mini playsets and two dragon toy line to be lost in the shuffle of action figure toys filling shelves at the time. A year later Marvel Comics released issue one of The Saga of Crystar that was to act as the back story to the action figures. Now the way this is sounding, one would think that the comic was based on the toy line when in fact it was the opposite; you see Marvel Comics created Crystar to license out to a toy company and use the toys to sell the comics! Marvel had a master plan to get a bigger slice of the toy market with a new creation. Sure, they had toys made of Spider-Man, Incredible Hulk and Captain America, but they wanted more. So a new world was created with Crystallium and its new fantasy hero Crystar who lead the good named The Order and with all good guys. They needed a bad guy, so why not his own brother who is called Moltar, the leader of Choas. And then they thought well horses are over done in fantasy worlds, so let’s let them ride dragons and instead of our heros and villains looking normal let’s let The Order be living crystal and The Choas living lava! They then came up with a back story and shopped the idea around to toy makers and found Remco who wanted to take on the license even without any source to push it. So the toys came out and again, as I have stated, very few kids had any that I knew. A year later the comic was released and I knew no one who read it. Even though the line of toys and comics almost seem that they were failures, I for one have grown to really like the figures and you shall see what I think of the comics below. I will also say Marvel and Remco really did push this series with amazing ads and things to draw attention.

I have been a huge fan of the band Danzig since I can remember. I even remember getting a Danzig cassette tape in my Easter basket one year! So it was a pretty cool when I found out that the skull both Danzig and Samhain (both bands fronted by Glenn Danzig) use as a logo is from the cover of issue # 8 of The Saga of Crystar! I found that to be an interesting fact so it goes to show you that Danzig must have been reading Crystar. So check out the skull from the comic and then the one used in the logos below.

Now I am going to break off from Crystar for a moment and talk about video games again, I have been a series gamer sense the NES days and have been a wrestling fan for a little longer. I grew up watching pro wresting with my dad, Brother and grandfather and have also bought every WWE and at the time WCW game that came out. One series I always buy the day it comes out is WWE series up until this year from THQ. The WWE games of the past 8 or so years have had a great habit of adding legends to the game from Hulk Hogan to Iron Sheik making long time wrestling viewers like myself happy. I would much rather play the superstars of the past then those of the present. To compare say John Cena of this day and age to Bret “Hitman” Hart of the past is laughable as Hart would work circles around Cena. So in late 2012, THQ gave us WWE 13 which treats gamers to a huge roster of today’s superstars and divas as well as superstars and divas of the Attitude Era that ran roughly 1997-2002. While many say the true start was in 1998, the attitude started before that. Many great icons of this time period were added like Bret Hart, British Bulldog, X-Pac, New Age Outlaws, The Road Warriors, Vader, Gangrel and more, but some superstars seemed to be snubbed for no good reason. Many names have made wish lists across the net like Steve Blackman, The Headbangers, Chyna, Raven, Lance Storm and The Oddities to name a few. There are many who have not made it into the game because they work for rival company TNA such as Jeff Hardy, Al Snow, The Dudley Boys and Rob Van Damn. And yet still some did not make the cut because at the time they were in WCW or WWE just has something against them. May I remind you that THQ only could only suggest what wrestlers made the game; WWE has the final say on who’s in and who’s out. But here is a list of four wrestlers I think were snubbed and have a place in WWE 13!

The Patriot (Del Wilkes) was an independent masked wrestler who made a name for himself in the GWF (Global Wrestling Federation) from 1991 until 1992 becoming a crowd favorite and even winning the federation’s world title. After leaving the company, he went to All Japan Pro Wrestling and became a draw even winning the tag titles with partner The Eagle, and returning there off and on throughout his short career. WCW was his next stop as in 1994, he and Marcus “Buff” Bagwell formed the team Stars and Stripes, and they would be multiple time Tag Team Champions. The Patriot left the company in 1995 and went back to All Japan for a couple of years. In 1997 WWF/WWE brought The Patriot in to feud with Bret “The Hitman” Hart and his new Hart Foundation (British Bulldog, Brian Pillman, Owen Hart & Jim Neidhart) who would slam America and speak of how great Canada is. The Patriot was the man who bled red, white and blue and took offense to this slander and took the fight to Hart. The feud would have both men fight on Monday Night Raw and PPV’s in single and tag matches. But sadly The Patriot got a serious injury that not only ended his time in the WWE but also his career as a pro wrestler. The Patriot was being geared to be a top babyface in the company and even had action figures made while he was there.

The reason I think he should make it into WWE 13 is because while his time was short with the company his feud with the Harts was a great one. It struck raw emotions with both American and Canadian fans given the battle’s meaning. Plus he was a solid worker who would at least have the over all game rating of 86, giving this already amazing roster one more competitor for the World Title or at least the Intercontinental. Not to mention that his song in 1997, “Medal,” would later be used as Kurt Angle’s, making the song available to use for anyone’s created Angle character. I should also note that way back when, my Aunt Teresa let some pro-wrestlers use her garage as a training area complete with a ring & weights and from time to time The Patriot was one that would work out, how cool is that! While I know he is not a super popular wrestler, I would be happy to hear that this star spangled hero that is in the same vein as Hulk Hogan and Hacksaw Jim Duggan would have at least been DLC for the game.

Every guy who watched WWE/WWF wanted to have “Sunny Days,” and I was one of them! Tammy Lynn Sytch, better known, as Sunny was a valet and sometimes wrestler who began her career in 1992 at Smokey Mountain Wrestling as a snooty character named Tammy Fytch managing her real life boyfriend Chris Candido and Brian Lee to winning the tag titles. She and Candido left in 1995 to work for the WWF/WWE. At first she was used as a backstage interviewer but quickly enough she became Sunny as Candido became Skip, and together they were the Bodydonnas. Later on they would be joined by Zip, and Sunny would manage them to tag team gold. She later would dump them and manage teams like The Godwinns and The Smoking Gunns. She would also manage Ron Simmons for a short time who was going under the name Faarooq. Sunny would then host WWE shows like Shotgun Saturday Night and would also manage The Road Warriors who were going under the name LOD 2OOO. Sunny was let go in 1998 after backstage heat between herself and top diva Sable, not to mention she had no showed events and had an addiction to pain pills. Tammy would no longer be Sunny and would join federations like ECW, XPW and even had a very small run for WCW. While Sunny has made some appearances in the WWE and has become a Hall of Famer, she has not worked for the company full time since 98. Sunny was the top Diva for many years and was the first Diva who broke the mold of what a woman wrestler should look like and paved the way for many of the company’s top female talent. Sunny was so popular she had her own home video, was magazine cover girl many times and had a number of action figures. For the longest time, Sunny was my favorite Diva and for the most part still is in my top two. Sunny brought the sex appeal and attitude that kick started the company into success. Sunny should have been added in the game, if not as a wrestler, at least as a manager. Oh I should note, I also use to have Sunny posters in my room and still have my ECW Tammy shirt. Like most teens, I used to think that Sunny was the most beautiful queen of wrestling and while lots of fans have turned their back on her because of her “issues” I stand by how I felt then and say Sunny should have been in WWE 13!

Dr. Death Steve Williams has wrestled in many federations that include WCW, NWA, ECW, All Japan and Mid South to name a few. Williams has held world titles and tag titles and was considered one of the toughest men to step into a wrestling ring, even becoming one of the first American Wrestlers to be considered a true main eventer in Japan. In 1998 WWF/WWE hired Dr. Death right when they were having an event called “Brawl For It All” in which wrestlers competed on TV in fights that were much like the Tough Man Contests that had popped up all over the US and became popular. Williams was the odds on favorite, and the WWE was banking on him winning and pushing him as the company’s top heal. Rumor even has it that he was suppose to beat Stone Cold Steve Austin for the World Title. Williams entered the contest and made short work of his first round opponent (Jean-Pierre LaFitte), but his second round opponent Bart Gunn was another story as Gunn took down Williams tearing his hamstring and then knocking him out. Williams missed several months of action, and his push went up in smoke. When Williams returned, he was put with broadcaster Jim Ross who acted as his manager and spent his time being a badass bully. But the knock out left the WWE with a bad taste, and they let Dr. Death go in 1999. Williams would later still make appearances for the WWE but never would be a contender. Dr. Death should have made it to WWE 13 because he was a legit badass who would have fit in perfect with the likes of Brock Lesner and Ryback as a muscle bound brute who would have represented the Attitude Era very well. While Dr. Death didn’t live up to what Vince and the WWE wanted for the time, he still helped make the WWE what it was by showing that truly anything can happen in the ring. Dr. Death would have made a great addition to the game’s runners for the World Title and would have had the over all game rating of 88. Williams battled cancer for years but sadly lost his battle to throat cancer in 2009. Oh yeah and you better believe if Dr. Death was in the game, he would be Oklahoma Stampeding Ryback’s lame ass!

Last on the list is not only a legend of the 80’s but also a guy who was a part of the whole Austin 3:16 creation. That man is Jake “The Snake” Roberts! Now I don’t want to spend much time on Jake’s past, but I would like to focus on his second run in the WWE that started in 1996 and had him returning at the Royal Rumble as a good guy and spreading the word of God. Roberts, who was in real life a born again Christian, would use this for his in-ring character and even spiced up his snake using an albino serpent that he named Revelations and laced his interviews with bible passages and warnings of the evils of drugs and alcohol. In 1997 Roberts would go on to enter the King of The Ring tournament and would beat his first round opponent Triple H and then do the same in the second round when he beat JBL. In the third round, he faced Vader and won by DQ but took serious injury to his ribs. The final match had him face off with Stone Cold Steve Austin who made short work of the veteran, and during his crowning Austin spoke the words “Austin 3:16 Said I Just Whooped Your Ass,” making fun of Robert’s who was bible thumping. Roberts then would go on to feud with Jerry “The King” Lawler who used Jake’s past against him. In late 1997, WWE wanted Jake to wind down and end his career pushing The Snake out who still wanted to wrestle. While many would count Jake out and say he has no place in WWE 13’s Attitude Era roster, I would be so bold to say he help create it when he lost to Austin, kickstarting one of the biggest phrases in wrestling history! Jake “The Snake” Roberts would have been a perfect addition to the roster and would have added a fun moment in Austin’s Attitude storyline as you had to beat him for The King Of The Ring crown. Jake’s over all game rating would be 83 due to the fact he was on the tail end of his major pro wrestling career. Jake was the cinderella story when he returned and while it was a short return, he still had a huge impact on the Attitude of the WWE.

So those are four Superstars that I feel were truly left out of WWE 13 and really deserved to be on the roster or at least DLC. But while I am on the topic of wrestling and Sunny, I should note that after WWE and wrestling days, Tammy Lynn Sytch joined up with another former wrestling valet Missy Hyatt who had opened a website called Wrestling Vixxxens and posed nude for the site causing the net to be abuzz about her move to bare all. I will not lie, when the news broke I surfed the net looking for the pics and was not disappointed when I found them! Part of me wonders if her decision to do this site hurt her chances of coming back to the WWE at the time. I mean I think Vince missed the boat on really using Sunny/Tammy to her full potential. I know she had issues with drugs and what not but so did most of his locker room…Shawn Michaels anyone? It almost seemed like Vince made up his mind that Sable was going to be his top diva and for the most part that was a terrible idea as she turned out to be a pain in his ass as well as a moneymaker. I would love to see Sunny return to this day as a interviewer or manager and I for one will always be a Tammy fan.

One other thing: as of late I have been finding old copies of Mad and Cracked Magazines at stores like Game Swap and Half Priced Books, and this has also reminded me of my youth. When I was growing up not only were comics, ghost stories and movie-based novels the only things that kept me reading instead of just playing NES or watching a film on VHS but so were Mad and Cracked Magazines that we would buy from Big Bear or find at Garage Sales. Back then I found myself getting a chuckle from these magazines as they spoofed popular movies, shows and culture all in a silly over the top way. But after reading through them once more, I found myself not only feeling nostalgic but also really looking deep into which magazine I really liked more then and now. When I was younger, I would say that for sure I was more of a Cracked fan and owned and “collected” those issues more so then Mad, while my brother I would take a guess liked Mad a little more for I remember him having piles of the magazine and lots of the paperbacks. Take a look at these old pics below of a young me holding his prized Cracked magazines as well as me with an old Mad Spy Vs. Spy paperback in super cool Spider-Man PJ’s.

Mad Magazine began in 1952, founded by editor Harvey Kurtzman and publisher William Gains, and was at first a comic book put out by EC comics the same company that released comics like Tales From The Crypt and the Vault of Horror and switched to Magazine format with issue #24. It was a parody comedy magazine that would poke fun at films, shows and culture and would change hands many times finally being owned by DC Comics (Time Warner). The magazine is still going as of 2012 and has spawned many other products such as a board game, a Saturday Night Live-style sketch comedy show called Mad TV that aired on Fox, a cartoon, toys, masks, shirts and paperback books to name a few. Mad’s spokesman is the silent, missing front tooth, one eye lower then the other, big eared, red headed goof named Alfred E. Newman. Newman is the poster boy for Mad and has sparked the phrase “What, Me Worry?” and truly has become a true American pop culture mascot icon. Most people my age could tell you who Newman is and many would say that Mad was better then Cracked. Mad also offered such great features as Spy vs. Spy, Captain Klutz and the work of Don Martin.

Cracked Magazine began in 1958 as the brain child of Sol Brodsky, an artist for hire who later became Vice President for Marvel Comics, and was a inspired by the popular Mad Magazine. Cracked followed the same formula as Mad and spoofed movies, TV and pop culture with an even more silly approach. Cracked had a sense of humor about itself and even had used the tag line that it was there for people to buy after Mad had sold out at the newsstand. Cracked would be sold for awhile but slowly lost its hold in the market in late 90’s and was on life support during the 2000’s before it was canceled for good in 2007. But you can’t stop Cracked now as it’s been reborn as a silly news site that has been becoming more and more popular. Cracked’s poster boy was its janitor Sylvester P. Smythe a blonde haired, wide faced nerd who was a man of few words. While Smythe was not as popular or iconic as Newman, he still has his place in the hearts of those who grew up reading his magazine. Cracked didn’t have much in the way of merchandise besides a stuffed doll and some paperbacks. Some of Cracked’s other highlights included Shut Ups, The Uggly Family, Talking Blob, Sagebrush and busty sexy female reporter Nanny Dickering.

So I am sure you’re wondering after all these years what Magazine am I enjoying at this time in early 2013. While it’s been hard to pick and each have their charms I still find that Cracked is the one I am enjoying more! Cracked has such a simple silly charm that is still putting a smile on my face making me chuckle. Cracked also was the company that used to release Monster Party and Monsters Attack scary, goofy and spooky stories that pleased the Monster Kid in me. So there you go, a quick look at Mad and Cracked Magazines.

One other thing I would like to talk about (and I will from time to time as this blog moves forward) is the no budget movies I have made over the years. So I figured I would start with the short film that started it all, “Teen Suicide” and it’s sequel “Suicide 2.” In 1997, I was a senior at Kettering Fairmont High School, and I hated the school with a passion. While I had friends, I found that many of the staff were not as nice to strange kids who were into horror films and metal music, making my time at the school a bad experience filled with suspensions and detentions. At the start of the school year, the main principal (who was a cool guy) decided that he was going to put me into the media class to see how well I would do at making movies, TV shows and working as a school DJ on the radio station. The first time he brought me himself as well accompanied by two security guards making the class wonder if Michael Myers had just been put in a room with them as they sat me away from everyone. Then they took the teacher KB into the hallway. But with time this was probably the best thing Kettering schools ever did for me as I met some of my nearest and dearest friends in this class. Guys like Dave Wean, Matt Hoffman, Rion Neeley and Brandon Womeldorff all made me feel welcome and showed that they had just as many weird interests as I did. The media class also made it so that the rest of my schedule changed and this put me in a sociology class with Hoffman and Brandon. For one of the the class’ big projects we were to make a video about a subject we picked. Hoffman, Brandon and Myself were joined by Scott Harmon and a kid named Chris as the group and at first we picked serial killers (with my push) but decided to instead make a film based on teenage suicide. So we all sat around class and the library and began to brain storm what was to become our first film. This is what not only started Fairmont Productions but more importantly my love of making films! Before this I drew comic books and loved to write stories, but I never thought that I could make my own films. Boy was I wrong. And the film began production in 1998.

As we hammered out the ideas and plot of the film, we all were assigned roles as cast and crew. Matt Hoffman was cast as Matt, a teenage boy who is picked on every day of his life by bullies at the school. The film would follow the last week of his life before he decided suicide was his only way out. Hoffman was also a co-director. Brandon Womeldorff played The Car Thief and also directed, did some camerawork and edited the film. The Car Thief was a trench coat wearing bully who got his jollies by car jacking Matt and stealing things like CD’s from him. Scott Harmon played the Kung-Fu Bully, a master of the fighting arts who loved to beat on Matt every chance he could get, and Harmon’s fight scenes with Hoffman in this movie could still be some of the worst ever filmed in Fairmont Media history. Chris (none of us ever got his last name) just played a Bully in the school hallways who would knock the books out of Matt’s hands and try to stuff his face in the bathroom sink. Chris didn’t do much on this production and in fact was suspended during filming and even for the screening in class. I played a bully who would later be called The Silent Predator, who hung around wooded areas and tried to drown Matt in a stream, and I also did camera work, co-directed and picked most of the film’s soundtrack that was filled with bands like W.A.S.P. , Motley Crue and Pantera. The filming of the flick took place mostly at Fairmont High School but we also filmed at Hoffman’s parents’ house, my parents’ house, behind Woodlane Plaza and State Farm Park. During filming we kept talking about how the film’s end needed to make an impact. We then decided to make the film silent, all but the moment where Matt would read his suicide note out loud to the audience. Filming took about a week with Brandon and I trading off who ran the camera, a giant Super VHS camcorder that weighed about 20 pounds, and each of us worked out our scenes with Hoffman. Looking back on the production of the film, we sure did torture Hoffman with lots of fake beat ups, being shoved around, making him jump on the back of a moving car, ketchup splattered on his head and the final stunt that still makes Hoffman feel like he was a major Hollywood stuntman (we will get to that shortly), and I must say while at the time he bitched a lot, and I mean a lot, he still was a trooper and went along with the “script”. I remember for my scene we chose to shoot behind Woodlane Plaza in Kettering (the same strip mall location that has Mavericks Cards and Comics and Christopher’s Restaurant as residents) right after a big rain storm making the small stream that runs behind the building deeper and faster. The scene called for Matt to be walking along the stream as The Silent Predator appears from nowhere and shoves him into the water. On set that day was just Hoffman, myself and Brandon, who was running camera, and we went over the scene a few times and at first Hoffman agreed to be shoved into the water, but after watching the fast moving water rush by he changed his mind and the scene was changed to him almost going in but barely being able to hold on. So we all got into place as I wore a flannel around my waist and a Whitesnake band t-shirt I waited for my big scene. Boom, my cue hit and a huge smile hit my face as I shuffled into frame and shoved Matt a few times toward the stream, and boom, he hit his cue and that was a wrap. But looking back at the scene, we should have shot it again so I didn’t have that goofy ass smile on my face that looked like David Lee Roth at a strip club! We later talked Hoffman into shooting a scene where it looked like he fell into the water, but it didn’t look right because he had different clothes on and the water speed and level were all wrong. This deleted scenes has long been lost. But all this was leading up to our big pay off, the end of the film where Matt was to kill himself, and this act was one epic scene. The final scene’s first part took place at my parents’ house in the kitchen as Matt would write his suicide note and speak the only lines used in the whole film. Hoffman seemed very moody that day and was very argumentative towards Brandon and I and almost seemed like he was in the zone and on par with what the character Matt was doing. Hoffman sat at the table with a notepad and a pen and began to spout off this suicide note that seemed to mirror some issues he was having in his own personal life. While I laughed then, I should have really taken the time to chat with my friend after this scene to make sure he was doing okay. From there we went to a near by K-Mart and bought some ketchup to use as the fake blood and headed to State Farm Park to film the final scene atop a big hill that slopes, covered in rocks, small trees, trash and muck. That’s when Hoffman who was holding his pellet gun told us he had an idea. So we hurried and filmed his walk across a bridge to get to the hill and then made our way to the site and as we reached the top that’s when he told us “I am going to fall backwards down the hill when I shoot myself!” Brandon and I laughed and mocked him for his “shocking” stunt. You see Hoffman at times would say and do outlandish things for attention, and we thought that’s what this stunt was just him running his mouth and not really intending to do what he said, but boy were we wrong. As we set up the scene and filmed him looking at the gun and then putting it into his mouth, pulling the trigger and falling out of frame, we thought this was a wrap after we did a pick up shot of him on the ground with the “blood” on his head. Then Hoffman sat up and said, “you ready to film me falling down the hill?” Brandon and I looked at each other and gave a fuck yeah and went down the hill to film this epic scene. As we set up the shot and got the right angle Hoffman sat at the edge of the hill with his back towards us. We could tell he was second guessing his stunt and seemed like he was now thinking of a way to get out of it. After some coaching and name calling, Hoffman pulled off the stunt and fell backwards down the hill, loosing control of his fall for a moment but catching himself before he got to hurt, making all my group of friends dubbing that hill Suicide Hill. We squeezed the “blood” onto his head and got the last shot of the film.

For days Brandon edited the film on the AVID system, putting time and care into each scene, I sat with him many times as he worked, other days our pal Rion did. When it was done, Brandon asked Hoffman and myself to watch it in one of the editing rooms, and we all were taken aback by how good the film was. Looking at it now, I am still proud of the film even with all its flaws and honor it as the first film I ever worked on. Then the day of the class showing happened, and our teacher made us come up and tell the other students what our film was about. Scott Harmon and I took that job and rushed a quick introduction, and the lights went out. The film started and had Matt walking down a school hallway in slow motion as the Bush song “In A Lonely Place” played, and we thought we had them. As the film ended and the credits rolled to Motley Crue’s” You’re All I Need,” Brandon and Hoffman stood in front of the class to answer questions about the film or what we learned about teen suicide. Our classmates seemed stunned by what they had seen, and the only question we got was, “was that Pantera that played when he shot himself?”. And then it happened; Hoffman said he had a confession to the class, and as everyone got quite he then proclaimed that he had tried to kill himself in the past and ran from the room, as the teacher and students looked on stunned. Brandon was in the front of the classroom like a deer caught in headlights! While Teen Suicide was not a hit with our peers, a year later in 1999 Brandon wanted to make a sequel that was bigger, longer and filled with dialogue! The film’s plot had Matt (once more played by Hoffman) waking up after his suicide attempt and learning that he could not die and had been given a second chance to get revenge on the bullies who tormented him. Brandon returned as The Car Thief. Scott Harman came back as Kung-Fu Bully and had yet another stinker of a fight with Hoffman, this time in the school’s radio station. I returned as The Silent Predator who in this one seemed more demonic and acted almost as the ring leader, and we added Dave Wean as a Crazy Bully, Rion Neeley as the Roof Top Bully, Dan Salter as the Skateboard Bully and Linda Webb as Matt’s girlfriend who is cheating on him with the Car Thief. The film was filled with one Matt beat down after another, until he finally got his revenge on all those who tormented him and having his end battle with me in the woods of Hill’s and Dales Park as a red light shinned on us. Matt at the end of this one blows himself up with a self made bomb. While this film was a favorite to play at the group’s parties, to me just lacked the charm of the original and for the most part was more of a generic action film then a film with a message. When we left high school and continued making movies, we dropped Fairmont Productions and became Independent B Movie (a gathering of many production companies) and began selling our films on VHS at horror conventions like Cinema Wasteland in Strongsville and Fright Vision. Teen Suicide and Suicide 2 sold pretty well. Years later Suicide 1-2 would hit DVD and match the sales of the VHS. Independent B Movie was riding high, not only the founders (Brandon, Hoffman, Myself) were making movies but so were Josh Weinberg, Dave Wean, Jason Gilmore, Patrick Neeley and my brother Bryan, making this tiny no budget film company seem like something special. We did start a Suicide 3 many, many years back but production slowed when turmoil in the group of film makers started to slow things down, but that’s another story.

Now for a little horror host spotlight: In March of 2007, the late night viewers of Kenosha, WI got their blood chilled by a show called Nightmare Cinema hosted by a Werewolf named Uncle Wolfman, who every full moon is locked in an abandoned TV station in the middle of nowhere on Bray Road by his vampire friend Vampiro. To kill time Wolfman shows a bad b-movie, a classic cartoon and TV show episode and waits out his curse in the station that is clearly haunted. Uncle Wolfman is your classic Lon Chaney Jr. style werewolf who speaks with a twisted snarl and raspy voice, drawing you in with every word. His style is very classic and each episode has it’s own mark and facts. Fans of horror host shows from the 60’s and 70’s should check his show out! I first heard of the Uncle Wolfman via the website Horror Host Graveyard and after seeing an episode or two I quickly became a fan. As of 2013 the show is still going strong.

I took the chance on a full moon night and called the old station’s #, got a ring and an answer from Uncle Wolfman himself, and he was nice enough to answer some questions for you my readers. So with this let’s get onto “5 Questions For The Wolfman”!

Me – So how is it being stuck in a haunted abandoned TV station every full moon?

Wolfman – Being stuck has to do with my temptation to feed. So, Vampiro and I have an agreement; Vampiro guards me during the full moon by locking me up. In return, I guard Vampiro’s tomb during the day. However, Vampiro occasionally forgets to feed me, so I order a pizza, and get the delivery driver as an appetizer.

Me – What is your favorite film you have shown on your show?

Wolfman – I don’t know if I have a favorite movie from those we can show. I suppose that, being a Mantan Noreland fan, I like King of the Zombies, schlocky as it is. My true loves are the classic TV. We recently had an old episode of “Suspense,” featuring a rare television appearance by Bela Lugosi in an adaptation of Edgar Allen Poe’s, “The Cask of Amontilado, and there was an episode of “Tales of Tomorrow,” called “Ahead of His Time,” which starred Boris Karloff. But I suppose my favorite was a cartoon episode from “The Milton the Monster show–the only one I know of in the public domain– called, “Zelda the Zombie.”

Me – Who are the hosts that inspired you to become a horror host?

Wolfman – I only ever really watched Dr. Kadaverino (Jack LaBlond) on WITI chanel 6, Milwuakee, who was the only one on when I was very young. Later came the Original Svengoolie, Jerry Bishop, and later Son of Svengoolie, Rich Koz, both starting out on WFLD channel 32, Chicago (Son of Sven’s now just Svengoolie, on WCIU, Chicago and METV nationwide).

Me – Growing up did you read comic books? If so, who is your favorite superhero?

Wolfman – I read many comics as a kid, from Archie to Sad Sack; I really liked the EC magazines, with Tales from the Crypt, The Witching Hour, all of those. I also like the Hulk, Thor and Conan the Barbarian–of which I still have all the comics, mags, graphic novels and the original stories by Robert E. Howard, which I reread from time to time.

Me – If you could run with a werewolf pack from a horror film or TV show who would you run with?

Wolfman – Serious attempts at TV show werewolves suck. I wouldn’t run with any of those wannabes. Besides, if Uncle Wolfman really wanted to run with a pack, he wouldn’t suffer being locked-up three days a month.

Me – Thanks Uncle Wolfman for taking your time and answering these questions.

But enough of wrestling, Tammy Lynn Sytch, Danzig,THQ, Remco, Cracked, Mad, Ben Cooper, Teen Suicide and Woolworths, let’s get down to Marvel Comics “The Saga of Crystar” 11 issue run! Remember: I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and am looking at how well the comic keeps to the source material, its entertainment value, its art and story. This review is thanks to a team up of Mavericks Cards and Comics, Bell, Book & Comic, 2nd and Charles, Half Priced Books and Amazon. And remember these reviews will have spoilers.

The Saga Of Crystar # 1 *** 1/2

Released in 1983 Cover Price $2.00 Marvel Comics #1 of 11

Prince Crystar and his brother Moltar rule the kingdom of Crystallium together after their father, the king, was killed in a battle that pits their side (The Order) against the evil of the Chaos. While both share the power, it’s clear that the kingdom respects Crystar more, causing the brothers to have a little rivalry. Lavour is Crystar’s girlfriend and her servant girl Ambara has a crush on the prince as well, but his best friend Warbow has a crush on the servant girl. The Kingdom’s wizard Ogeode comes to the Princes and warns them that evil is coming and that this time he will be powerless to stop it. When Zardeth, an evil wizard, enters the castle the seeds are planted, and the brothers have a fight leaving Crystar dead. His brother Moltar takes over and steals Lavour! But things are not all good as Moltar and his new followers embrace The Choas and become living lava men, and Crystar is brought back to life and his followers are turned into living Crystal. This leads to a war between the brothers that leaves Moltar’s ego bruised and Stalax with a life threating crack in his crystal body. Crystar hooks up with Ambara as Warbow is heart broken and even looses an eye to Zardeth who shoots him with an arrow!

This is a great way to kick off a comic book series that is attached to a toy line and really serves as the back story of the characters. Crystar comes off as a likeable and nobel hero who has pride in his family, kingdom and friends and has almost a mix of Prince Valiant and King Arthur feel to him. You get the vibe from this first issue that Crystar will fight to the death to defend his kingdom. His men that include Warbow, Koth, Kalibar and Stalax are all given time tolet their personalities shine. Ambara, who is the love of Crystar, is shown to be a sweetheart who would do anything for her Prince. Feldspar, Uncle to both Crystar and Moltar, is an interesting character as he choices no side and takes both sides curses on himself (top half crystal bottom half lava) to show he respects both nephews. I hope he is fleshed out more in the series’ in coming issues. Moltar is a man filled with jealousy and is easily fooled by the evil ways of Zardeth and then manipulated by the bitch Lavour. This is a solid comic that really flushes out all the characters and makes me look forward to reading issue 2. The art work is okay, but I wish it was a little better. It’s odd that the ad art for the Remco toys looks better. The cover is amazing and very eye catching for the time and would surely draw in fans of Conan, Kull and Masters of the Universe.

The Saga Of Crystar # 2 ***

Released in 1983 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #2 of 11

Crystar is not pleased when he finds that his uncle Feldspar has removed him from the throne and is now acting as King to the kingdom until he and his brother work out their feud. Meanwhile Moltar and Lavour are being fired up by Zardeth who wants them to get revenge on Crystar and take the kingdom by force and sends a team of lava men to kill him who in turn fail. Stalax is dying, and Crystar and friends must travel to get Ika, the daughter of Ogeode, who in turn becomes living crystal herself to learn of the secrets of the process. When Crystar thinks the young woman is in pain, he goes in after her and both disappear.

This second issue is more about Crystar wanting to do the right thing and the brooding ways of Moltar who still thinks he is getting the shaft by not ruling the kingdom. Ika is an interesting character who gives her self to the mirror that transforms flesh to crystal showing that she is loyal to saving human life. Ogeode is kind of a dick in this issue as he forces his daughter to do this heroic act all so he can learn the secrets of the crystal without having to forever be changed. While the Crystar storyline is pretty good, I felt Moltar was not used well in this issue and almost seemed to much like a snot nosed kid who lost his video games for a month. Over all this is a good follow up issue that has better art work and a pretty cool cover. So far I like where this series is going.

The Saga Of Crystar # 3 ***

Released in 1983 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #3 of 11

Crystar and Ika find themselves in modern New York in the home of Doctor Strange and his butler Wong and are confused by this new world filled with so many things they have never seen. Meanwhile back in Crystallium, Ogeode alongside Koth and Kalibar travel in the portal to find the missing prince and also end up in Doctor Strange’s study. While Doctor Strange and the goofball Ogeode try to find a way to send the warriors back home, Moltar sends Lava Men through a portal. They also end up in Strange’s house and after a quick fight, they find their way home to Warbow, Ambara and the recovering Stalax.

This was a cool way to tie into the rest of the Marvel Universe. Crystar and his crystal warriors once more come off a nobel fighters, as Warbow’s secret crush is still in the air as he looks at Ambara. Moltar once more acts as a general and sends flunkies to attack his brother. Ogeode is as brain dead and scattered as ever as Ika shows she is down to help The Order. I am not a huge Doctor Strange fan and only found myself liking the character when he appeared in other comics like Spider-Man or Man-Thing and in the very terrible yet fun 1978 made for TV movie. So I actually find him a perfect fit for the myth and legend that this series is building for Crystar. Here’s hoping that Crystar and Moltar will meet again in a battle in the next issue to see which brother is better. The art work is good again and has the same style as the last issue, but this time I’m not a super fan of the cover. With that let’s jump into issue # 4.

The Saga Of Crystar # 4 **1/2

Released in 1983 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #4 of 11

A father is telling his children a bedtime story about Crystar and Moltar and how they each became the warriors they are now. He also goes a little into the back stories of Crystar’s friends like Warbow and Koth and shows that Moltar has called a meeting with Crystar and his Uncle Feldspar to speak of the unfair way he has been treated. Moltar doesn’t understand why Crystar and his men get to stay in the kingdom but he and his followers have been pushed out, and if they are to smooth things over they must be even. Feldspar thinks about this matter and decides it’s only fair that Crystar and his men must also leave the Kingdom and are asked to leave by dawn. Mad about this decision, they still agree to leave. In the end the father is Kalibar telling his own children this story on the night he must leave the Kingdom

This issue is good and solid, and I do like what they did for the twist ending. Crystar is a little more bullheaded this time around and challenges his uncle’s word over the peace offering his evil lava brother is pitching. In this one, Moltar is just what I love to see in my comic bad guys: a smart brain and the ego of a mastermind. Plus we get a little more of the Warbow loves his best friends girl storyline as well as a little more background on Koth and Stalax. The art is good; the cover is bland. While this is not the best issue in the series thus far, it still was a good read.

The Saga Of Crystar # 5 ** 1/2

Released in 1984 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #5 of 11

Crystar is in the Marvel office as the comics editor and writing staff try to figure out a good story for issue 5. When he is finally taken into his world he is set to meet with Moltar and his uncle. Everyone leaves besides Ika and Stalax who try to use a spell to send the lava people far away from the Kingdom but instead bring the Chaos’ base to the Kingdom. Moltar and Crystar can’t agree on much except that Zardeth and Warbow need to stop fighting and that the base needs to be moved back to its right place. Zardeth teams with Ogeode, and together they use magic to set things right.

This issue starts out dumb, and the whole editor’s office thing is mind numbing. But once we get back into the comic story line, it picks up. Crystar plays a big part in this story as does his girl’s love for him. Ika steps up in the issue and seems to be filled with rage over The Order being kicked out of the kingdom and wants to use her magic to rid them of The Chaos. Moltar comes off as a badass leader who has his wizard in check and a plan to take over the kingdom. As I said it starts off bad, but becomes pretty good by the midway mark. The art is good, and the cover is good making this issue an average read.

The Saga Of Crystar # 6 ***

Released in 1984 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #6 of 11

Nightcrawler of the mutant team the X-Men visits his girlfriend who is a part-time practicing witch, who felt a disturbance earlier and used her crystal ball to open a portal. When Nightcrawler uses his teleaport ability in the apartment, he is sent to Crystallium where he is spotted by Stalax who thinks that he is a demon sent by the Chaos. Nightcrawler flees the scene and stumbles into the base of Moltar who as well thinks he has been sent to join him in his battle against his brother. Crystar and his men go looking for this demon, and Ika sneaks into Moltar’s base and hears them speaking of this “demon’s” arrival. She is caught by Zardeth and Moltar who are going to kill her until Nightcrawler steps in and stops them. Crystar and crew arrive to save her and befriend the mutant. In the end Ika sends him back to Earth where his girlfriend awaits.

Yet another fun adventure that adds a popular main stream Marvel character to the storyline. Nightcrawler fits in pretty well, but unlike the Doctor Strange appearance, this one seems to be more focused on the guest hero than on the book’s main hero, Crystar, who seems to have not much to do in this issue besides search for Ika and briefly chat with his Uncle. Moltar also doesn’t do much besides welcome his new “friend” and capture Ika. Though Lavour is given a little more in this issue, she comes of as a flirt as she tries to get info from Nightcrawler all the while hitting on him. Over all this is a fun crossover issue that really adds nothing to the main story arc but makes for a fun read. The art is good, and the cover is so-so. So let’s see if issue 7 explores the mian story more.

The Saga Of Crystar # 7 **1/2

Released in 1984 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #7 of 11

The Kingdom is under attack by Malachon and his hill men, and they plan on killing as many people as possible including Kalibar’s wife and kids. Crystar and his men are told of this attack by Ogeode who sees it in a vision, and they come to the aid of the Kingdom, chasing off the hill men and helping the wounded. All the while Moltar, Lavour and Zardeth watch and plot a way to use Feldspar’s anger to their advantage as he scolds Crystar for coming into the Kingdom. Ogeode & Ika take Crystar and his men across the ocean to their hometown to get answers of why his uncle is acting so oddly, and Moltar strikes a deal with Malachon and his men to become living rock and fight on their side!

This issue is packed with fighting of sorts as the Hill Men are made look like weak fools to Crystar and his men, and Malachon has an almost Jim Jones thing going as I could see his people drinking poisoned Kool-Aid if he ordered them to. But I’m honestly not sure whether he’s really needed in this issue. He almost seems like he is just thrown into this mix to add more action and to have more butts for Crystar to kick, but we shall see where the character goes in the next issue. You feel bad for Ika, whose boyfriend in her home town turns on her because of her new crystal appearance, and her father acts as if she has not all ready made sacrifices to help The Order. Speaking of the Wizard’s hometown, not much is flushed out yet and I am not sure what to think of the Warrior Woman Shen who appears to be in charge. This issue is clearly used to build up the next issue that could be the huge battle we have all been waiting for. With that let’s get onto issue 8! Oh yeah, the art is still good, and the cover is pure cheese.

The Saga Of Crystar # 8 **1/2

Released in 1984 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #8 of 11

Crystar is troubled by an old memory of a time when the first war was going on, long before he and his brother were at war and long before they were transformed. The memory sends him into a day of mourning every year over the day his friend Captain Heyatt was killed while helping them fight a giant sea monster and chaos demons. It’s also the day Koth lost his true love in the same battle. It’s also a day of mourning for Moltar, who’s sad over the loss of his friend. While Crystar tells his friends of this day, Ogeode is in a meeting with his fellow hometown council members.

This is a filler issue and once more adds backstory but nothing to the main story line of this comic series. The way Heyatt dies is stuff straight from old sword and sandal films and could easily be the death of Steve Reeves’ friend in some bad Hercules film, as he takes a thrown spear to the gut. Meanwhile, the new bad warrior Malachon who is transformed at the end of last issue is nowhere in sight! Ika and her boyfriend still have some beef with one another, and Moltar cries at the end for his lost friend from years ago. This issue also reminds me of Clash of The Titans for some reason. I am sure it has to do with the giant sea monster. The art is okay and in some spots looks dull. The cover is a step up from the last several. Now that another filler issue is done, let’s hope they get back into the storyline, and we can see some sort of payoff coming.

The Saga Of Crystar # 9 **1/2

Released in 1984 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #9 of 11

Ogeode is speaking to the Council of The Order about the war that is about to break out and tells his fellow townspeople that they need to help Crystar and his men in this battle when things go south. The people are not sold on helping the men made of crystal. The Crystal men go around and speak of returning home when the acting King Feldspar shows up and wants to speak to the council of peace talks between the feuding brothers. But the peace talks are fake as Feldspar is really just Zardeth and the guards are Hill Warriors and Lava men. They attack and kill many of the Council people until Crystar and his men show up and chase them off. Crystar also has a stare down with Malachon before the leader of the hill men retreats. In the end the Council decides to help, and Ika’s boyfriend Beek is turned into living Crystal.

This issue is the final straw for Crystar to go back and reclaim his thrown and stomp Chaos back into the hell pit from which it came. Zardeth and Malachon both show how cold blooded they are as they slaughter many unarmed men, and seem proud of their actions. At this point in the series you are at a fever pitch to have The Warriors of The Order stop the Chaos Warriors, and after every set up and every innocent death, this fever gets higher. Plus at this point in the series you also find yourself wondering why Feldspar is acting the way he is and wonder if he really doesn’t want his nephews to work things out because he is enjoying being king. As far as Crystar, at this point you can see a bullheaded hero who is shaping up to be one hell of a good king. As for his brother Moltar, you get the fact he is second guessing his turn to the dark side but he still thinks he is the best choice to lead his people. With only two more issues to go ,the War to settle the score is now on! The art is good, and the cover is all right. Let’s get ready to rumble with issue 10.

The Saga Of Crystar # 10 ***

Released in 1984 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #10 of 11

Moltar is not pleased about the attack that left many council members dead and hates the fact that both Zardeth and Malachon seem to have enjoyed the bloodshed. Crystar and his crew decide to go back home to try and end this war. He confronts his uncle Feldspar about the throne. Crystar agrees to step down but he also says that Chaos will not rule the Kingdom. As Crystar leaves the Kingdom, his crew tell him that they will fight by his side to bring down the Lava Men and The Hill People. Crystar’s brave warriors include his girlfriend, the Wizard Ogeode, his daughter Ika and her boyfriend Beek, Warrior Woman Shen and finally the Crystal Warriors Warbow, Koth, Kalibar and Stalax. To his surprise, the local villagers call to arms and join Crystar’s army just in time as the warriors of Chaos come in from the sky and start a battle that leaves Koth missing and believed to be dead as he protects Ambara from attackers. In the end The Chaos Warriors retreat, and the warriors of Order mourn their friend and plan for an all out war.

This issue has it all: a thick good storyline that is an amazing build up for the final issue, Crystar finally reaching his breaking point and wanting his Kingdom to be happy and wanting to end the evil of The Chaos. The shock of a member of the Order team missing and thought to be dead adds the drama, not to mention it also shows that at this point Moltar is loosing the respect of Zardeth and Malachon who both seem to mock him for not joining in on battles and how week his Lava Men are. It also shows how hotheaded Beek is and how he even seems to take an attitude with Crystar about what he thinks is right and wrong, not to mention the fact he is crystal now makes him a strong ally to have in this war even if he is an ass. Over all this is a great issue filled with a solid storyline, shocking drama and some butt kicking action. The art is well done and while in some spots seems a little rushed, it still looks good. The cover on the other hand is just so-so and highlights the two lead warrior females Shen and Ika. Can’t wait to see how this saga ends and here is hoping for a great ending.

The Saga Of Crystar # 11 **1/2

Released in 1985 Cover Price $1.00 Marvel Comics #11 of 11

Koth is not dead and is now a prisoner of Chaos warriors who plan on sacrificing him to the Hills once they get some information. Moltar starts to have second thoughts about his turn to evil and even has his girlfriend Lavour second guessing it as he doesn’t want to see his one time friend killed. Crystar and his men are gearing up to take the fight to The Chaos when by accident Ogeode brings in members of Alpha Flight from Earth that include Puck, Shaman and Northstar who decide to fight on the side of good! All this happens after Crystar butts heads with his uncle who is still trying to not pick a side. Moltar goes to Koth and asks him to please share some info so that his death will be quick and gets the cold shoulder leaving him pissed and lost for a direction. That night Malachon takes Koth to an alter and is about to kill him when the warriors of Order show up and the final war begins! Crystar gets his revenge on Malachon as a member of The Order looses his life being a hero (who you ask, well you should read it to find out). In the end Zardeth is taken down as Moltar and Lavour turn on Chaos and rejoin the brothers, but before the evil wizard dies he takes away the curse of Moltar so that he can never touch his love Lavour again as she is left as a lava person. So the brothers are reconnected, and the Kingdom will now live on happy and chaos free.

This was a fun journey that had an almost rushed ending. While the end is good, it could have been a hell of a lot better. The good turn for Moltar seems rushed this issue, and the fact they turned him back human shows that after this series, they didn’t have a plan for Crystar to ever return. Moltar was a great bad guy that at times was not used they way he should have been. In many issues he seems to take a back seat to the evil wizard Zardeth and even the crude Hill leader Malachon. The fact that we never see the brothers in their new forms truly fight is kind of a let down and makes the build up to this final war a let down. Crystar is a great hero and really transforms as you keep reading by the end of this series he reminded me of so many iconic sci-fi heros like Luke Skywalker, Conan The Barbarian and even Optimus Prime in the fact he was strong willed, believed in the right thing and was noble and loyal to his friends and people. One storyline that I wished would have been fleshed out was the Warbow loving Ambara plot that seemed to fall flat the farther we got into the series. Plus, I would have liked to see a little more of Warbow’s as he clearly was Crystar’s best friend. All of Crystar’s warriors and friends were likeable and fun characters besides Beek who really was an ass most of the issues he was in and treated Ika like dirt if she did something he didn’t like. The guest heros in the last issue were a waste. You could have taken the Alpha Flight goons out of the issue, and they would have not been missed. They strike out with them but hit homeruns with Doctor Strange and Nightcrawler. The series as a whole is amazing stuff and is worth the read. It’s was a great way to build up these characters that were created to sell toys that kids had no clue to who or what they were. Marvel should have given this series a little longer to grow, and they should have not rushed the last issue when they built up this payout to be a blow out of good vs. evil. Sadly as of early 2013, Marvel has not done anything with Crystar and company besides put him on a cover as a zombie for one of the Marvel Zombies miniseries. Going into this series, I had very limited knowladge of the character besides a few of the toys I had in my youth and now after reading this series I wish I would have done so much earlier because Crystar would have been a toy and comic series I would have collected then.

Man, this was a long update! I had a lot to talk about from toys to horror hosts to video games to independent movies. This update was filled to the brim with retro and nerd goodness. So next update we might take it a little smaller as we take a look at Blue Water Comics series for horror film Leprechaun for Saint Patrick’s Day! So see you then for the all green and gold coin loving good time.

Beware the Inhumanoids!

Posted on December 10, 2012 by bloodlinematt

Do you believe in monsters? How about the unknown and things that we do not and cannot understand? Well if you do, and you were a kid in the 80’s, then I am sure you loved the Inhumanoids, the giant monsters that were set free and want to destroy the Earth. That will be the Star Comic series we will take a look at in this update. One thing I have always been into is the unknown and cryptozoology. Ohio has its share of ghosts, ghouls and the unknown, but the one that has always made me chuckle and yet I am still totally fascinated with is the Loveland Frog. I am sure many of you don’t know the story of the Frog Man that was spotted in Loveland, Ohio so let me give you a brief rundown of the story before we get into the Inhumanoids.

In May 1955, a business man on his way home from work spotted some 3 foot tall frog-like men under a bridge. They had the features of a frog and had leather-like skin. One is said to have held up a metal rod that shot out sparks. Many years later on March 3^rd 1972, a policeman named Mark Matthews is said to have seen a 3 foot tall Frog Man on a bridge over the Little Miami River. The creature looked at him and as the officer pulled his gun and fired, the creature leapt over the guard railing and into the cold unforgiving water below. That same month a local farmer claimed to see the Frog Man riding a bike near his home. Then the case went cold and no other major sightings have since been reported, although some claim that in the early 80’s the Frog Man did show itself again and was chilling on a family’ front yard while they snapped pictures of the confused creature. What is the Frog Man; is he some unknown species? Is he an alien from another planet or could it even be a human that is so badly deformed that his facial features are twisted? Many, many years ago when I was a teenager, my friend Kevin and I drove to the bridge and hung around for awhile. Sadly we never did see the creature, but the feeling of waiting for the unknown was amazing. I remember that we went on a very cold December night and the sky was black and water below seemed so uncaring. But enough of the Loveland Frog, let’s talk Inhumanoids!

The Inhumonoids started in 1986 as both a cartoon and a toyline. My first major introduction to the characters was seeing the giant 14″ versions of D’Compose, Tendril and Metlar at Hills Department store and wishing that I could take these giant monsters home to fight with my Imperial Godzilla! Hills, much like Big Bear & Hearts, was an amazing place for me to get toys. They would stock the shelves full of all the newest action figures and would sell them at amazing prices. One of my alltime favorite toys came from Hills, my Marvel Secret Wars Captain America figure that I had all the way up to the age of 17. By then the paint had worn off and his shield was long missing. I gave the toy to my next door neighbor in hopes of winning brownie points with his hot blonde sister. I think it worked a little! But for those who don’t remember Hills toy department you are missing something special as they always had end caps with huge clear bubbles that had toys set up inside with giant play sets showcasing just what you could own if your parents would fork over the cash. It still makes for one of the best marketing ideas I have ever seen. Besides toys, Hills was also known for the free popcorn that they would give to their customers. Imagine walking into a store and smelling fresh popped popcorn and then someone handing you a bag for free – now that’s what I call customer service. Also Hills is where my brother and I would get our WWF shirts and is where I got many of my Ultimate Warrior t-shirts. Sadly in 1999, all the Hills stores closed though for my area it was sooner then that. But much like the now gone Big Bear, Hills will always be one of the coolest places to shop.

That was one thing about moving back to Kettering that made things a little easier was the fact that the girl who lived next door was (and still is) the amazing cute girl next door. When I moved from Waynesville, I still was very much hung up on that one girl I wanted to ask out, and even during the move and while starting a new school she was all I could think about, though given the fact I was a teenage boy that’s really no surprise. But while my dream girl was still on my mind, I meet Sarah, the super cute and sweetheart girl that was a few years younger then me that lived next door, and spent much time trying to get her attention from blaring loud music such as Billy Idol, Motley Crue and Guns N Roses from my bedroom window, to walking her to a friends house late at night to make sure she was safe. Sarah helped a lot at the time for I was a young man filled with rage who would start a fight at the drop of a dime, and she was the one person who kept me level headed and kept me out of trouble. Sarah was a big part of my teen years, and while I never did get a date, I did get a friend for life who I care about. So this is a big thank you to Sarah for being the person she is.

Onward to Inhumanoids! In 1986 Inhumonoids started out as mini 7-minute cartoons on a show called Super Sunday alongside Jem and the Holograms, Bigfoot and the Muscle Machines and a few other shows. The short episodes impressed kids and were then converted into a full 22 minute series. The series followed Earth Corps, a group of scientists, and a band of elemental monsters called the Mutores that teamed up to defeat Metlar and the other Inhumonoids who wished to bring the Earth down. You see, the Mutores banished the Inhumanoids deep into the Earth and now that they are free they are pissed off. The cartoon only lasted one season and had 13 episodes. Even with the short run, the series and toys gained a cult following. The cartoon series has never been put out in a full series in the USA on DVD, and the two DVDs we got were cheap ones from Rhino that are now out of print. I remember watching this show and loving when the monsters were on, but was always bored when the human Earth Corps were on.

The toy line was impressive and was broken up into three groups: the Earth Core that was made up of the human figures in their armor suits with removable masks, the Mutores who were bigger than the humans and were good monsters based on trees, rocks and lava. But the third and final group was the best, standing at 14″ tall, the Inhumanoids were the ones all kids wanted. But again with many things the bigger and cooler toys cost more and lots of places did not carry them due to the size of the display box. Most of the kids I knew in school did not have the big figures but had to settle for the lamer smaller characters.

My brother and I loved the look of the toys, and we both have always been into monsters, so these figures were a perfect fit for us. While we enjoyed the cartoon it was never one of our favorites and for the most part we would catch it when we could. So of course we asked for the figures for Christmas and what we ended up getting was Granites the rock guy for my brother, and I got Magnokor the lava rock guy…..yeah…. While these toys were cool, they were by no means in the same badass league as the giant figures, but I am sure my parents thought that these creatures were the Inhumanoids so I can’t fault them. But we made dowith them and were happy to make them battle each other and other toys we owned. In 2010 I found the other figure in that set Redwoods for .49 at a thrift store, and I bought it just because.

Besides the toys, other merchandise came out for the characters that includes VHS tapes of the episodes, kids’ books, coloring books and stickers. While none of this is shocking, what is shocking is the fact that the cartoon never got a video game. You would think that a Commodore 64 or a NES game would have been made, but nope. I am sure that this did not happen after the cartoon only lasted one season as did the toy line, showing that while cool, this series just did not have the staying power everyone hoped for. And the same can be said for Star Comics who pulled the plug on the comic run after only four issues!

Now let’s get into Star Comics’ four issue run of the Inhumanoids. Remember I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and am looking at how well the comic keeps to the source material, its entertainment value, and its art and story. This review is once again thanks to the team up of Mavericks and Bell, Book and Comic.

The Inhumanoids # 1 ***

Released in 1987 Cover Price .75 Star Comics #1 of 4

A giant amber is found with a creature inside and ever since strange things are happening, But Herc Armstrong, leader of the Earth Corps, is denying any real danger. Miles away oil workers drill a hole on orders of a Mr. Shore and by doing so the earth caves in and out comes Tendril (the vine looking giant monster), an Inhumanoid that heads to the museum where its friend D’Compose (skeleton one with the open chest) is being showcased trapped in the amber. Meanwhile Herc and his men Derek, Auger and Liquidator are the guests of honor at the discovery of D’Compose as Tendril attacks the city to get to his trapped friend. As everyone flees, Earth Corps gear up and try to study the rampaging monster. In the end Liquidator and a female friend Sandra Shore (sister of Mr. Shore) are trapped as D’Compose is freed ,and he and Tindril are coming after the humans and speak of freeing Metlar, their leader.

This first issue seems to go by fast and crams in so much: introductions to the Earth Corps and the anger and rampage of the two Inhumanoids, making this one a good read and a nice start to the series. Again, much like the cartoon for me when the human Earth Corps were showcased, I felt a little bored but the moment the giant monsters were on, I felt myself getting exited to see what destruction they could cause. Herc Armstrong does seem like a good leader, and his team seems a little disorganized and more into science then listening to orders. Tendril, the giant vine monster, is the main monster in this issue as he is the one doing all the damage and rampaging the city to free his friend. D’Compose spends most the issue trapped but when freed at the end his look and manner seem to indicate that he is going to be a handful to anyone who gets in his way. The art in this issue is good and is that classic Marvel of the 80’s style. The comic does keep true to the source, and the storyline is a nice starting point for the series. The cover also shows action and clues you in on who the major monster of issue 1 is. Over all this is a great start for the series.

The Inhumanoids # 2 ***

Released in 1987 Cover Price .75 Star Comics #2 of 4

D’Compose and Tindril are stopped from killing Liquidator and Sandra by the rest of the Earth Corps and the cops who shoot a missile that misses and hits a gas line causing a huge explosion, giving the Inhumanoids a chance to escape into the ocean. The Earth Corps head back to base and split up to find any clues to where the monsters are and why they are here. Herc and Auger take a sub to the bottom of the ocean, as Derek goes to the drilling site to find clues about Tindril. Liquidator goes to the forest where they found D’Compose in the amber. Each team meets with a challenge as Derek has his rope cut and caved in by Mr. Shore, Herc and Auger go up against Tindril and D’Compose and Liquidator are confronted by the trees who are a race called Redwoods who tell him the history of The Inhumanoids that involved a war against a group of good monsters called the Mutores. After each team escapes with a little more knowledge, they meet back up at their base that is attacked and crushed by Tindril. Did the Earth Corps get out in time? I guess I will have to read issue # 3 to find out.

Keeping with the first issue, this one is a fun action romp that has a little bit of everything from corrupt humans to pissed off talking trees. This issue serves more as a backstory and a brief history lesson on what the Inhumanoids are and where they have been for so long. Once more the human parts which there seemed to be a lot more of in this issue, drag and while this time what was being said and going on was interesting, you still read this comic for the monsters. Neither monster shone in this issue and both seemed to share the same amount of panel time. I will say this is a nice follow up issue that while way more talkie, it did keep me reading. While some parts dragged it still made for a good read and a nice way to build me up for issue 3 with a nice cliffhanger ending. The art in this one is much like issue one, but I did notice some half assed drawings that made some of the Earth Corps look like sketches and not finished art work. The cover art is bad ass and to be honest this was the only issue my brother and I owned as a kid, and I think that was in part because of this cover! Now lets’ see what issue 3 has in store for us.

The Inhumanoids # 3 **1/2

Released in 1987 Cover Price .75 Star Comics #3 of 4

The Earth Corps survive the attack by Tindril and drive him back underground, as Sandra finds out that her brother is a mad man and wants to free all the Inhumanoids to try and control them and use them as power. The Earth Corps go underground after Tindril and are attacked by both Inhumanoids. The humans are out-muscled and only with the help of a race of rock men and the tree people are they able to escape. Mr. Shore blackmails the senator and has him cut the funding for Earth Corps putting them out of business. But the team doesn’t give up and find a new backer in Sandra who is now a semi-member of the team. After a day of building they go back underground with their new weapons and member and meet a very pissed off D’Compose who also is commanding a pack of undead bats. It ends with Auger being attacked and looking like the end for the wisecracking crazy member.

This issue is way too much talking and not enough action. With this being a comic for kids, I am sure those who bought this issue were bored to death with all the overdone long winded Earth Core moments. When the action does happen it’s like a breath of fresh air to spice up the dull talkie parts that seem to drag the pace and story down. The issue has one very brief attack by Tindril, one attack by both Tindril and D’Compose and one just D’Compose. All attacks are very short and while fun, go by way too fast. The story is used to build up the coming of Metlar who has yet to do a damn thing is this series and is built up as being one tough monster. The art seems a little different and seems to have less care put into some panels, and the cover is super bland and boring. This being the second to last issue makes me really worried to how this series is going to end. It makes me wonder how Metlar is going to be freed and defeated in one issue. Also on a strange note this issue references Transformers and Batman. Well here’s hoping for a good ending!

The Inhumanoids # 4 ***

Released in 1987 Cover Price $1.00 Star Comics #4 of 4

After saving Auger from the zombie bats, Earth Corps goes deeper into the Earth and find the rock creatures fighting Tindril and D’Compose who are now so close to freeing their leader Metlar. Earth Corps joins the battle, but all is lost when Metlar is set free. The rock men flee to regroup as Earth Corps fight back the best they can. After a few near death moments, the team hides but it’s too late as Metlar comes for them. To everyone’s surprise, Mr. Shore shows up in his own metal suit and traps Metlar whom he tells he will now be his slave. But things turn sour as D’Compose turns Sandra into one of his rotted army members and Tindril sets Metlar free breaking Mr. Shores trap. So ends the final issue in the series on a cliff hanger for which we never received a conclusion.

This issue was wall to wall action and showed Metlar, the most powerful of the Inhumanoids, doing what he does best and that was well….hmmm giving orders and being out smarted by humans…wait, he was kind of a let down for all the build up. The plot was a nice build up for an issue 5 that was never made and that’s sad because I and many other readers of that time would have liked to see what happened to Sandra, how Earth Corps was going to stop the Inhumanoids and Mr. Shore would end up having to help those he screwed over to save his sister and the world. Shame on Marvel for not finishing this storyline and not giving Star Comics permission to end this comic series properly. The art in the issue is back to being well done and again has that classic Marvel 80’s look. The cover is back to being well done and eye catching. Plus the 4 issue run in my opinion held very true the the source material of the cartoon and added a fun addition to fans who wanted everything Inhumanoids. This issue was a good issue but was one heck of a terrible final issue, shame on you Marvel you owes us a 5^th issue, and I want it soon!

With Inhumanoids now in the bag, I was able to get my hands on a comic book that was always free in my youth at a restaurant that my Grandparents loved. That place was Captain D’,s and the comic was Captain D’s Exciting Adventures. In my younger days I was never a fan of fish, but I found myself eating at this place many time with my parents, brother and grandparents who all seemed to kind of enjoy it. I however would always get a cheeseburger and fries! Yes, for those who can remember Captain D’s the fish place had a cheeseburger on their menu, and yes, I use to get made fun of by my father and brother for ordering it. But anyways back in the day they would also have free comic books for kids that would be about a famous sea Captain and then would have an adventure or two with Captain D himself. So let’s take a quick look at issue 1 of this free fast food comic. This gem was obtained thanks to Ebay for a $1.00 plus .93 shipping!

Captain D’s Exciting Adventures # 1 **

Released in 1976 Cover Price FREE Paragon Comics #1 of 35

This first issue has a brief life story of sea captain John Paul Jones who fought the British for America in 1776 and how he went down in history for fighting outmanned and out gunned and said the phrase “I have yet begun to fight!” to the rival captain. Then we get a few puzzles and a short about Captain D himself alongside his young shipmates going to Nashville to see the sights and then get some food at guess where? If you guessed Long John Silvers, you are wrong.

This issue, while a fun very brief history lesson about American icon John Paul Jones, is really nothing more then one big advertisement for the restaurant chain and Pepsi Cola. But then again what did you expect for a free comic about the restaurant’s mascot? The art inside is pretty poorly done for the John Paul Jones segment but the Captain D’s stuff is fun and cartoony. Speaking of Captain D himself, it’s a shame that the old red beard mascot has been sent off to the great blue sea of forgotten fast food icons, and the food chain no longer uses him. Over all for a free comic these were always fun and for the $1.93 I paid for it on Ebay, the trip down memory lane was worth it

So I am undecided about the next update. It will be either about horror films that I think should be made into video games or it will be about Crystar, a Marvel owned character made to sell toys and comics. So until next time, readers, stay nerdy!

The Short-Lived Story of AniMax

Posted on November 21, 2012 by bloodlinematt

Hello all and welcome back. The next series of comics we are looking at is called Animax, based off a failed toy line and released by Star Comics, the kids’ branch of Marvel. This book is different from The A-Team and Smurfs as I had never heard of it in any shape or form when I was a kid. The first time I found this book was 2011 when I found issue one at Mavericks Cards and Comics for a whooping 25 cents! That’s the one good thing about living in Dayton, there are many great places to get comics. Besides Mavericks, we also have Bell, Book and Comic, Bookery Fantasy, Half Price Books, Superfly Comics, Dark Star, Fearless Reader, Game Swap Kettering and a few other places you can find issues.

Every store is different and each carries something that sets it apart from the others making them all worth checking out if you ever find yourself in the area and looking for comics, toys, books, movies, video games, card games, sports cards and everything else that will send your nerdom into overdrive. In fact this review is possible thanks to both Mavericks and Bell, Book and Comic where I found all four issues in this mini series. So thanks, guys!

Star Comics has always fascinated me and to this day I still find myself always looking for issues that escaped me when I was younger. Marvel Comics started Star back in 1984 and closed it in 1988. The four year run was enough time for them to gobble up properties like Thundercats, Masters of the Universe, Silver Hawks, Muppet Babies, Care Bears, Star Wars and many more popular toy and cartoon lines. Star gave the properties short comic runs to satisfy kids who craved all they could get of their favorite characters. But Star also gave us some great original characters like Planet Terry, Wally The Wizard, Top Dog, Spider-Ham and Royal Roy. While fans didn’t know these characters at first, we eventually learned to love and respect them. The best and most loved from the originals was Peter Porker (Spider-Ham), a pig man who turned into a Spider-Man like hero – great silly stuff. He was followed by Wally The Wizard. It’s a shame that Marvel didn’t give Star enough time to fully grow and become the next big thing in kids’ comics since Archie. I am sure that Star’s fall came with poor sales and high payouts to get licensed properties. But years after shutting them down, Marvel continued to put out books based on cartoons from Captain Planet to the Toxic Crusaders. I missed Star Comics when it was gone and would have loved to see the company put out some issues based on other toy lines of the day. Look for a followup blog soon about the toy and cartoon lines I wished they would have done.

AniMax made its first appearance at the 1986 Toy Fair and was the brain child of Mel Birnkrants and Schaper Toys (the folks who brought you Ants in the Pants, Cootie and Don’t Break the Ice). The toy line featured Max Action and his vehicle Jungle Max as they led the AniMax as the evil X-Tinctor and his vehicle Obliterator led the mutant Car-nivores in a future world where both sides clashed in order to see who would rule their world. The AniMax vehicles were alive, half animals and half automobile, controlled by helmets that the riders wear. The toy line was a hit at the Toy Fair, with its live actors and cool figures. The hype was in place for this to be the next big thing in action figures. Later in 1986, Schaper sold to Tyco toys, and this started the beginning of the end for AniMax.

The toy line was a second thought to Tyco who wanted other properties within Schaper, and so the toys were half assed with poor cheap paint jobs and no commercial push, making them flood the shelves at toy stores and quickly go straight to the markdown bin. A funny note: both main characters Max Action and X-Tinctor never actually made it out to stores. AniMax was also supposed to get a cartoon to fuel the fire. Much like the commercial support, the cartoon never happened making the name and toys fade away without so much as a whisper. But out of the grim future of the toyline came one glimmer of hope to help make kids care about the cheap looking toys: Star Comics issue # 1 of AniMax!

Star Comics decided to take a chance on AniMax and made some issues to try to draw some buzz. But sadly without a cartoon or a solid toy line, the comic lasted only four issues before it landed in the cancel bin. It’s odd that these pretty cool characters with a really great storyline never got the fair shot they deserved. My knowledge of this subject and amazing pictures are thanks to Mel Birnkrants and his website who had all the history of this failed toy/cartoon line.

Now it’s time to take a look at this short Star Comics Mini series and see just how well the idea of this series translated to comics. Remember, I grade these on a standard 1-4 star rating and am looking at how well the comic keeps to the source material, its entertainment value, and its art and story.

AniMax # 1 ***

Released in 1986 Cover Price .75 Star Comics #1 of 4

This issue is “Days of Wrath” and has Max Action and his AniMax Jungle Max (Lion Machine) battered and dying at the feet of X-Tinctor and his evil band of mutants, who have set up the hero. Tiger Trakker and the rest of the AniMax swoop in and run off the mutants to find their weak leader who dies in Tiger’s arms. They take Max’s body and send Jungle to the junkyard. All hope looks lost for the people of Peoplopolis. Heater and her Mother own the Museum, and unbeknownst to Tiger and his men, they have a clone machine that they use to bring Max back to life! When some mutants sneak into the compound Tiger comes face to face with the clone who moves and acts like his fallen friend and leader. In the battle Mother is killed, and Max must prove that he is who he says by saving Jungle Max from death’s door. As more mutants come in for the attack, Tiger and Max flee the city to save Jungle Max and to get the proof that the savior is alive.

What a fun action packed first issue that pulls no punches and starts with the main hero dying, one of many deaths. When the mutants sneak into the compound, they shoot and kill two humans, and the panel shows the bullets passing through the bodies, making this the first Star Comic I can think of that features that much violence. This issue’s plot is the start of a war between the humans and the mutants and is the restart of the warrior known as Max Action. The death of Max Action is shocking to start the issue off with and his rebirth is true classic sci-fi/Frankenstein inspired stuff. On the downside, the issue don’t explain much of who, why and what the AniMax universe is all about and for the most part flings you in as if their history is common knowledge, or as if it was coming off a cartoon series. But even after being flung in, the storyline is pretty cool and for some reason drew me into wanting to see what was going to happen next. The issue is also packed with lots of action, making it very exciting. The art is well done and is very much that Marvel style of the late 80s. The cover is also great and very much eye catching, showing action and Max and X-Tinctor. Over all it’s a nice start to the series and made me want to see what is going to happen in issue 2.

AniMax # 2 ***

Released in 1986 Cover Price .75 Star Comics #2 of 4

“The Siege of Peoplopolis” is the second issue’s plot and has X-Tinctor and his mutants launching a full on attack to the walls of Peoplopolis, pushing the rest of the AniMax to fight harder to save the innocent people. Tiger Trakker takes Max to the living jungle and has mini-Animax help him track down Jungle Max who is on the highway of death, as he holds off the mutants that were tracking them. Max finds Jungle, and the two reconnect. While still injured Jungle and Max help Tiger out and head back to town. The walls of Peoplopolis have fallen, and X-Tinctor has entered the city and the remaining AniMax know they can not win, until Max and Tiger show back up and open a can of woop ass on the Mutants who flee…for now. The town and his fellow warriors are shocked to see Max as Heater shares her feeling for the hero. Tiger tells Max his secret of being a clone is safe with him as they take Jungle to get repaired. X-Tinctor meanwhile has a evil plan the he will execute in the next issue.

Issue two is good but not nearly as well done as the first though it’s still fun and action and drama packed. The plot has X-Tinctor trying to bring down the humans and kill or make the remaining AniMax join his side while Max is trying to come to grips with being a clone and trying to save his lion friend Jungle Max from the graveyard. This issue brings up lots of great emotions as Max must come to grips with the fact he is not the original but is the face of hope to many people and also touches up on his love for Heater. It then builds up the true friendship of Max and Tiger and gives it an almost Prince Adam and Man-At-Arms (Masters of the Universe) bond that has one keeping a major secret for the other. Plus the road of death sure does look a hell of a lot like the yellow brick road of Wizard of Oz fame. While drama-filled, this issues still packs in action as the mutants attack the city’s walls and Tiger Trakker fights a bunch of blood thirsty ones as well. This is a nice follow up issue, and let’s you a little more into the world of AniMax, fleshing out characters a little better. The art once more is well done as is the cover that again pops with action. Over all it’s a nice follow up to issue one.

AniMax # 3 **1/2

Released in 1986 Cover Price .75 Star Comics #3 of 4

“The Retread Plot” is the third issue’s name and has the cloned Max Action wondering if he is as good as the original because of his lackluster shooting. Tiger is also concerned now and thinks the clone might not be able to handle being a leader. Max goes to visit Heater in Peoplopolis as X-Tinctor unleashes a giant rubber air man named Retread to find the hideout of the AniMax, following Max to the secret location. Retread, who can float when releasing air from his massive frame, sets off the hideout’s alarm, and the AniMax go after him. But X-Tinctor and the Mutants show up to save their man and to get the info he has tucked away before he deflates and forgets all his knowledge. All looks dim as the Mutants take Retread over the bridge of doom and into the dark side of Earth. But one well timed shot from Max hits the rubber man deflating him and saving the location of their secret hideout.

This issue is very cheesy and does not pack the drama of the action of the first two issues. The story has a few moments of drama as Max and Tiger both question his ability to lead the world’s only hope team, but the quickly follows Retread as he tries to get away with the knowledge of the AniMax base. I was not a fan of the cheesy comedy and wished they would have stayed closer to the style of the first two issues’ plots. However even with the terrible shift from action-drama to action-comedy, the reader is treated to more of what and who the AniMax are showing that they are the humans’ last hope in a world that was left in terrible shape after doomsday. Plus I like how they showed the Bridge of Doom, a gateway the separates the Light Side from the Dark Side. X-Tinctor also himself to be another bad guy who just can’t seem to get that win putting him alongside Skeletor, Moonstar and many other 80’s cartoon bad guys. Over all issue three is not as good as previous issues but was still a solid read. The art in this one is pretty good but a few panels seem rushed, not to mention the cover on this one smells of pure cheese.

AniMax # 4 **

Released in 1986 Cover Price $1.00 Star Comics #4 of 4

This is the fourth and final issue and starts off with Max and crew fighting X-Tinctor and crew on the Bridge of Doom over a human slave girl. In the fight Max is hit with a large dose of radiation and fellow AniMax Tarmac who controls the horse is kidnapped. X-Tinctor has a plan to learn about the bond that allows the humans to talk to their machine animals. If he can learn this power and take control over his machine animal to unleash its full power that would be able to bring the end of mankind. Meanwhile as Max lies dying once more in the hospital, the AniMax machines learn a way to take some of their riders’ pain unto themselves but if they take too much the bond between the two will be lost. In the end X-Tinctor and his mutants attack, and all looks grim as the riders and the machine animals are loosing their bond, but with the help of Tarmac and Max getting better from his illness, they are able to use the pain energy to rid the world of X-Tinctor once and for all…or so they think.

This last issue seems rushed and the storyline is a little over done. The plot has the riders and machine animals having such a tight bond that they would take each others pain in order to save their friend, and X-Tinctor wants to exploit this and gain that ability himself to use his machine to destroy the human population. Max Action is hardly in this issue and spends most the time in a hospital bed, making you wonder why they hardly used the main hero of the book in the final issue. The action also seems rushed and was a quick way to kill most of the mutants off to end the saga. X-Tinctor’s death is also very lame and is one weak way to get rid of a bad guy that issues back seemed to strike fear in the hearts of humans. This was not a fitting way to end the series and once more makes me wonder why AniMax had a curse that allowed it to be treated so poorly. The art in this one is well done, but as for the cover, it just seems very generic and not thought out. Also the price on final issue, as you can see, was raised by a quarter making it a dollar. Shame on you, Marvel, for not given this series a proper send off.

Going into this I did not know anything about the AniMax universe and after reading Star Comics’ four issue run and reading Birnkrant’s webpage, I found myself enjoying my journey into their world. I did notice that this series is very heavily influenced by Masters of the Universe and M.A.S.K – more so Masters. Let’s break it down real quick: look at Max Action and compare him to He-Man (Prince Adam). First, they both have a secret that only a few know; Max’s is that he is a clone, Adam’s is he is He-Man. Both have a main villain that has a skeleton face; Max with X-Tinctors and He-Man with Skeletor. They both have a giant cat they ride and are best friends with; Max with Jungle Max and Adam with Battlecat. Both in some ways are leaders to people who need their protection. Both had a limited comic run at Star Comics, and both have blonde hair. It’s very clear that this was inspired by Masters of the Universe and was just changed to fit in a more apocalyptic world. But I am ok with that. I am sorry I didn’t have any fun stories of me blowing up AniMax figures or having my Godzilla toy crush them, but like me, I hope you found this entry entertaining and insightful on a basically forgotten toy line and the mini series that it spawned. Next up: the giant monsters that live under us, The Inhumanoids!

Marvel Smurfs

Posted on September 10, 2012 by bloodlinematt

I was born on September 8^th 1979, and I was lucky to be a kid through both the 80’s and 90’s. Much like every kid from my generation, I loved toys, video games, horror films, Saturday Morning Cartoons, horror hosts, surgery breakfast cereal, pro wrestling and of course comic books. I grew up in a small town (Waynesville, Ohio) that was dubbed the antique capital, and from day one I was the strange kid who spent his time drawing demons, the rock band Kiss and Frankenstein’s Monster and never making the move on the girl of my dreams who just so happened to be good friends with my next door neighbor who at that time was basically my best friend. I know you’re all thinking wow what a wuss, but if you would have seen how beautiful this young lady was and how she could make your heart skip a beat you would understand why a oddball like me in my Ultimate Warrior or Alice Cooper shirt never made a move.

On Saturdays my mom would take my brother and I to the neighboring town to a store called Big Bear & Hearts and for grocery shopping/ The store was one half food (Big Bear) and the other half department store (Hearts). Cool things in this store included not only the Street Fighter II Arcade Machine but also the giant stuffed bear that was like your greeter. The toy department was magical in my eyes and was always packed with the newest G.I. Joe, Transformer, Battle Beast, WWF wrestler and every other new figures. If we were good we would get a toy and usually along with it a comic or a Mad or Cracked Magazine. I was always into The Incredible Hulk and Captain America and most of the time that’s what I would pick to go alongside my new Monster in My Pocket, G.I. Joe or whatever toy I was into that month. Then we would be off. After we checked out and would stop at the store’s snack bar for an Icee (Blue Berry or Coke) and sometimes a soft pretzel or nachos, we would get home in time to watch Commander USA’s Groovie Movies or sometimes Grandpa Munster host his Super Scary Saturday film on TBS.

Comic Books were a fun way to leave reality and to step into the boots of your favorite hero or villain, leaving behind all the annoying life drama just for the brief moments it took you to read the issue. DC had some great heroes like Superman, Batman, Swamp Thing, Wonder Woman and Flash. While they had some great issues and characters, I have always been a Marvel man due to amazing characters like Hulk, Captain America, Spider-Man, Man-Thing, Iron Man and Thor. Marvel also had great comics based on toylines like Transformers and G.I. Joe. Comic books have always been apart of my life thanks to my Mother who bought them for me, my older brother Bryan who read them to me when I was younger, my Uncle Thurman who gave me many of his older issues and my cousin Chris Jones who got me one of my first new Hulk issues off the newsstand when we has babysitting me.

Comics and other things from my youth made me more creative and lead to me to making my own comic books with such characters as Benny the Squirrel, Robo Raccoon, Fred The Mole, Mr. Emo and many more. Most of the comics I made were to amuse myself and sometimes my Mom and friends. But even without any real talent for drawing, my Mom and Dad would encourage me to keep up the good work. I was never really good at art so the hobby faded, but the creative bug stayed with me and lead me into the world of films and TV shows. To this day I am the proud owner of two small film companies, Independent B Movie and Bloodline Video, and have made such films as Werewolf of Ohio, The Sadness, Cocktober Blood, Bark at the Moon: Scars and am currently making the popular horror host show Terrifying Tales of the Macabre hosted by Baron Von Porkchop. So for all those people that were told comics will rot your brain, that’s in no way true…well maybe not completely true.

One off the wall brand that always peeked my interest even before I was in school was Star Comics, the kiddy branch of the mighty Marvel Comic juggernaut. They would make comics about popular cartoons or toy lines and were be a cheap way for parents to keep us youngsters happy till the next episode. One of the first times I discovered Star Comics was when I was really young and a cereal company gave away free issues with a mail-in. Oh the good old days of amazing and cheap prizes in your cereal! So this little blog is about re-living my youth, looking back at Star Comics, Topps Comics and other wonderful Marvel Comics that have always peeked my interest that are not normally what you would think of when someone says Marvel. And who knows, maybe I will review some other comics based on cartoons, toys, video games and TV shows from other companies. So let’s start this off with looking back at The Smurfs’ short run at Marvel.

I am going to grade these comics on a standard one to four star scale. For each issue I am going to be grading the story, the art, how true it was to the cartoon or toyline it was based on and its entertainment value. So with that said, let’s look at The Smurfs!

Smurfs #1 **

Released in 1982 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #1 of 3

The premiere issue is filled with three major stories and a few small fillers. Major story number one is called “ The Smurf Plane” and shows a Smurf building an airplane to impress the other Smurfs and later using his plane to save Smurfette from the evil Gargamel. “Nearer. My Smurf, To Thee!” is the second and has a Smurf who is trying so hard to hit the bullseye on the target with his bow and arrow. The third major story “The Smurf of Youth” has Smurfette fearing she is getting old and ugly and conning two other Smurfs into following her and a strange map she found to the fountain of youth, that really is just another sinister trap from Gargamel. Once more they don’t fall for it and escape unharmed.

The first thing you notice upon opening up this issue is the so-so art work that almost seems more of an amateur’s drawings for a youngster in their family. While it’s not that bad, it’s still puzzling to me how the Smurfs in this issue just don’t seem to look right. The sub par artwork aside, for a premiere issue it seemed very dull and rushed with the third major story “The Smurf of Youth” being the best in the book and keeping a silly fun shallow vibe throughout. I am puzzled as to why no one besides Papa Smurf questioned Smurfette as she vainly insulted herself by saying that because she’s older she is ugly, so one can only imagine just how foul Papa must be in her eyes. Smurfette does not come off as a good person in this issue and like I perviously stated seems self-absorbed. The first story is fun yet really anti-climatic. And the second story while “cute” still is just a filler entry. The best moment in this part being a Smurf using bees as darts. Most of the smaller stories also seemed like page filler and while fun and silly, they really just left you wishing the writers would have just made one solid story. Oh and a really odd thing is that Gargamel keeps calling Smurfette “The Smurfette” making for some odd reading. I mean is there some fake Smurfette running around as well? This comic doesn’t capture the good natured heart and soul of the cartoon and almost seems like a strange fan made comic. This issue # 1 didn’t impress me, and really gives a person nothing to talk about besides Smurfette’s shallowness sticking out like a sore thumb. I am sure even in my youth I would have found this issue to be a bland way to bring the Smurfs to comics. The cover on this one, while okay, should not have been used for an issue one. This looks like it should have been the cover for an issue after # 6! And man look at the Smurf in the plane he just looks super pissed off to see Gargamel!

Smurfs #2 **

Released in 1982 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #2 of 3

This second issue is much like the first and has three major stories and a handful of small fillers. The first major story is “The Smurfs and the Evil Bird,” in which Gargamel turns himself into a bird to sneak into the Smurf village to kill them all while they sleep. But his plan is discovered by Papa Smurf who runs him out of the village but not before he takes a hostage! With the help of Mr. Crane, they get the Smurf back and Gargamel gets his. Second is “Smurf the Birdie” where Farmer Smurf wants to protect his corn seeds from the birds and must find the perfect scarecrow. After a failed one, he gets a statue of Smurfette that keeps the birds away because of all the Smurfs are just staring at the statue! This leads also into a few pages of Smurfs trying to win Smurfette’s affections. The final story is “Sticky Smurf” in which Gargamel uses a sticky sundae to capture a Smurf but the treat turns out to be so sticky that he also gets stuck in the desert! And of course it’s up to Papa Smurf to come up with a position to free his trapped friend.

This is not an improvement over the disappointing issue one and still has the same bland art inside. This time around also rocks one hell of a lame cover, I mean take a good look at the cover. While the bird and the background look okay, the Smurfs on the ground look terrible. In this second issue the best of the main stories would have to be the opener “The Smurfs and the Evil Bird.” This seems like it could have easily been on the cartoon and also makes for a shocking moment as Gargamel tries to smother the Smurfs with smoke as he clogs the chimney of Papa Smurf hoping to kill him. Also I should state that in this issue it’s shown that the Smurfs drink Brandy! Wow, these Marvel Comic Smurfs are badass party animals! That’s one thing I have noticed so far, Marvel has changed some of this happy go lucky kids cartoon’s concepts into a little more sinister and sly ways to work in some adult style shockers from drinking to narcissism to even murder, making the issues a little more enjoyable to see just how much they will push the limit. The best moment in this one comes when a Smurf wins a kiss from Smurfette after he brings her was she thinks is a fur scarf, that turns out to be really a pet caterpillar! Smurfette being the classy woman she is throws the insect out and is mad for not getting a real fur like she thought. Wow, what a Smurfy Bitch! Issue two is only slightly better than issue one and still does not bring the charm of the cartoon to cheap comic paper. Maybe issue three, the final in the Marvel Smurf series, will be just the right amount of fun this series needs.

Smurfs #3 **1/2

Released in 1982 Cover Price .60 Marvel Comics #3 of 3

This is the third and final issue and once more it semi-follows the formula of the past two issues with this time only two main stories and a few filler ones. Story one “ Monster Smurf” shows how all the other Smurfs get sick of Jokey Smurf’s pranks and decide to pull an ultimate prank on him in return. Then up is “Smurf Ball” were Hefty Smurf is two strong to play smurfball with the others so Handy rigs up a ball on a rubber band that Hefty can play with on his own and it leads to him on accidentally leading Gargamel to the village. It’s up to his quick thinking to save the day.

This third go around is still a major let down. While this issue is closer to the cartoon, it still lacked something to make it rise above and pull it out from being a two and a half star issue. This issue’s best offer is “Monster Smurf” just due to the fact it showed Jokey Smurf being the prankster we all knew and loved from the cartoon. This one also took out the third story and focused more on short stories that mostly dealt with Harmony Smurf and his lack of ability to carry a note. It was also nice to see an issue that focused on other Smurfs beside Smurfette who seemed to be a huge part of the past two issues. Like I said earlier, this one is the closest out of the comics run to capture the lighthearted fun tone of the cartoon and is the best issue in the series for doing so. The cover is also an improvement and is more eye catching and better drawn than the issues that came before it. So it seems just as the series seemed to be changing for the good, it was cancelled never to fully redeem itself.

My connections to the world of the Smurfs in my youth was very loose. While I watched the cartoon and enjoyed it, I only had a few of the small figures and they acted as the wussy background characters the good guys had to protect when I would have my all out toy wars. I also remember my Grandmother had a few on a shelf that when we would visit she would let us play. She also had glasses we drank from. My aunt also had a few, but again the toy line was never my thing. The cartoon and toys were always thought of more as a girl items with all their positive messages, cheesy romantic figures and no beat ’em up action or moveable parts so I am not sure why Marvel, who mostly made comics for young males, decided to make this short comic series. It also makes me wonder why only three issues – were the sales that bad they pulled the plug on it fast? Or were the people who owned the rights to the Smurfs that hard to work with? I tend to think that it probably started out as a trial run with only three issues being made with the option of more, but sales were most likely mediocre at best and the deal was just not in the cards. I happened to get these issues at Maverick Cards and Comics run by Jack Maverick in Kettering, Ohio in 2008 in a brand new sealed three pack that someone before me bought at K-Mart for a dollar when it was released. I paid three for the set! Not a bad pick up at all and they sure did come in handy for this blog. But now I am off topic. Over all Marvel’s Smurf run was a mediocre outing with some odd behavior coming from the pint size blue little bastards. The issues did not wow me now and I would be so bold to say that even in my youth I would have not been impressed.

On a fun side note in 1982, a Smurf game called “Rescue in Gargamel’s Castle” was released for both Coleco Vison and Atari 2600 and marked the first time the characters would be in a video game. The little blue mushroom house living icons would also have games on many of the top systems such as Playstation, Nintendo DS, Wii, NES, PC and many more home systems!

One thing I have noticed about Smurfs as well is that almost every one of my girlfriends (past and present) have loved them! I am not sure what the appeal is to women but they seem to really have a bound to the Smurfs. In fact here is a pic of my current girlfriend’s Smurf Collection and this is a drop in the hat compared to how many she really has.

Another thing I would like to briefly talk about is “The Smurfs Enchanted Voyage,” a boat ride at Kings Island Amusement Park here in Ohio. The ride would have you sit in a boat and travel down a path that had scenes all around you and voices and the theme song would play throughout. I first heard about this ride via my mother who went to the theme park for a Christmas celebration with her friend and was able to ride it. Many years later my brother and I went to the park with some family members and were able to ride it and I must say, being young the ride was pretty sweet! I remember being amazed by the Smurfs from around the world. Sadly the ride is no longer running and has been changed to many different things that included “The Phantom Theater”. Below are some pics of the ride. Sadly I did not take these myself – I was able to find them online, so thanks to whom ever shared these pics with the world.

In 2011 the Smurfs came to the silver screen for the first time and guess what? It was not an animated feature film but a CGI live action one! I have not seen the film nor do I have any desires to, but it did do well at the box office showing that these little blue forest dwellers still pack a punch in the eyes of the youth.

So my next update I think we will look at Marvel’s A-Team run that also only ran for three issues, and I will share some of my fond memories of Mr. T and the A-Team.

Oh yeah, and this blog is a work in progress and I am still working out the bugs of how I want things set up, but I hope you enjoyed this entry and I hope reading also helped trigger some past fun memories for you.

Rotten Ink

Tag Archives: Toys